Christina Aguilera & Kim Kardashian Tie For ‘Most Breastiest’ Costume

October 29th, 2012 // 58 Comments

Here’s Christina Aguilera and Kim Kardashian who both wore costumes showcasing their tits, so I’m not even going to come up with something clever to say about that because absolutely none of you will read it. We’re on a tight dick joke ration over here, and you never know when you’ll need one to plug a leak in your basement. (Someone tell Obama to post that to Ready.gov, on the house.)

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Frank Castle

    Holy blubber Fatman!

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    KK is a mermaid in an ocean of piss.

    Under the pee
    Under the pee
    Darling it’s better
    Down where it’s wetter
    Take it from me

  3. BlinkyTheFish

    Is there some mathematical formula or law of science that states the heavier Aguilera gets, the less clothes she wears?

    • Indeed. The surface area of a sphere is calculated as Area equals four times Pi times the radius squared, whereas the volume is calculated as Volume equals four-thirds times Pi times the radius cubed. So if she’s deludedly buying the same size clothes, simple mathematics dictates that the rate of growth of the surface area will never keep pace with the increase in volume for any given radius. Behold, the terrible results!

  4. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Halloween? This is what Christina wears on any given day

  5. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    -I have slain the mighty dragon!
    -Cool let me fart on his corpse!

  6. karlito

    Big Breastiest and Fat Assiest.

  7. Randy Poundersnooge

    What a disgusting slam pig. She looks like she would be sticky and stinky. And that applies to both women. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

  8. Old Person

    She’s Dame Edna?

  9. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    He must be sturdier than the photos impart.

  10. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “It’s going to be fine” screamed Matthew Rutler’s dead eyes as he contemplated the night ahead

  11. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    diego
    Commented on this photo:

    What the fuck is she supposed to be? It looks like a swine mated with a pumpkin and created some sort of unholy man-gourde-pig.

  12. Of course the little mermaid got peed on, it just happened underwater so you didn’t notice it.

  13. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    When people are drunk and garbed in an elaborate costume they tend to lose all common sense when cameras are pointed at them.
    Gawd I love Halloween.

  14. Diggy

    How embarrasing… who knew they would both choose “Cased Sausage” as their costume.

  15. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    The stench of vodka and cold bacon was unbearable. Matthew Rutler closed his eyes and tried to picture happy thoughts as the orange gnome who paid his bills swooped in for the kiss. “I better get an extra five bucks for this!”, he thought furiously, holding back his tears.

  16. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    -Alright, just a little closer, it won’t hurt a bit I promise!
    -That’s what you said when you gave me herpes…

  17. Cher X

    Is it just me or is she looking more and more like Mae West?

  18. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    The moment had come. His knees buckled under as her toxic fluids entered his mouth. “Now I know why Mario never got it on with Peach” were his last thoughts before losing consciousness

  19. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “Um, Mistress Christina? I get that I’m supposed to be a Prince, but why are you dressed as a witch? Am I supposed to kill you?”, he asked hopefully, glowing dollar signs in his eyes?

  20. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Didn’t notice Matthew Rutler had his arm around her back. Evidently to prevent her from toppling over as drinking at the Aguilera house starts at 7:36 AM.

  21. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “Kiss me or I snap your neck” was the argument that convinced him to go through with it.

  22. kimmykimkim

    Pretty sure the ocean is filled with pee. And by “pretty sure” I mean, I’m making shit up.

  23. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    -Maybe if I shake this door around it will clear the stench a bit, what do you think Matt?
    -Ugh…

  24. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Humpty Dumpty lifts his leg to fart just like regular people!

  25. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of pure imagination!
    Take a look, and you’ll see, into your imagination!

  26. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    “The doors are open, time to make a break for it”, he thought, but has he stepped onto the porch, Christina’s blubbery steel grip fastened onto his arm. “No so fast”, she purred, “I need you to massage my bunions tonight”.

  27. The Royal Penis

    I thought it was illegal to play with manatee’s.

  28. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Translation of Matthew Rutler’s eyes: “You thin you’re having it rough looking at these, I actually have to get in bed with this”

  29. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Happy_Evil_Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Fact not evident from my comments: I’d actually take Matthew Rutler’s place in a New York Minute. Call me Christina!

  30. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Shasta
    Commented on this photo:

    You know that feeling you get at work when you decide “fuck it- it’s not worth the money”? That’s where Matthew is.

  31. DeucePickle

    I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but this is the LEAST breastiest I’ve ever seen these two.

  32. DeucePickle

    Also, I think Fish should set up a page where we can upload our own pics of us dressed up for Halloween.
    But knowing most of you pervs, it would just end up a gallery of weiners.

  33. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    neen
    Commented on this photo:

    nom nom nom nom

  34. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Sir RegretsAlot and Princess JustThrewSomeShitOn

  35. just say'n

    …and one smells like pee, while the other one smells like shit.

  36. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    I kind of want to see her naked. Not because I *actually* want to see her naked, I’m just completely stumped what the hell is going on under there. She looks bloaty skinny-fat, I can’t tell if she’s wide, or curvy, or just…some sort of science project.

  37. Hubert Updike

    Pig in fishnets? so hot !

  38. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope he’s not paying her by the pound.

  39. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    pavement_smear
    Commented on this photo:

    There are many things in my life I regret. Things I have said in moments of anger, promises that were broken, simple tasks I ignored in my lethargy that, while trivial to me, were of such importance to others. These regrets weigh deeply on me, and will forever taint my self worth. But nothing I have ever said, done, or left undone has left me with such an overwhelming sense of self loathing as this sad realization…
    Would do.

  40. Joe Blow

    “These are troubling times in the kingdom.”

  41. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh, I get it! She’s the Burger Queen! I can’t believe nobody’s done that before…

  42. blech, this fat tub off goo just won’t stop.

  43. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Chunknorris
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh I get it! Shes reenacting John Candy in drag from Armed and Dangerous.

  44. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Throb the Wonder Mule
    Commented on this photo:

    Her dream “acting” job is pictured.
    Crack head with fat thighs ! ! ! ! !

  45. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    helmut
    Commented on this photo:

    Careful, dude, she’s trying to turn you into a frog.

    Kermit, to be specific.

  46. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Oz Matters
    Commented on this photo:

    I think she came dressed as Mae North South East West.

  47. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    cc
    Commented on this photo:

    This native love is restless…
    This native love is restless…
    This native love is restless…and I’m just not satisfied

    Where’s the buffet?
    Where’s the buffet?
    Where’s the buffet…I’m just not satisfied.

  48. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    She should totally be in the next One Piece movie
    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/31/Ivankov-300_377.png[/img]

  49. Christina Aguilera Cleavage Butt Halloween Costume Matthew Rutler
    Dirk Diggler
    Commented on this photo:

    I would eat her butthole until my tongue turned brown

Leave A Comment