Christina Aguilera is Jessica Simpson Now and Other News

December 14th, 2010 // 54 Comments

Huge breasts? Check.
Everyone always thinks she’s pregnant? Check.
Questionable face? *looks up* Ha! Where did that come from? Check.

I rest my case.

- Michael Moore gave $20 grand toward Julian Assange’s bail. [Popeater]

- So that’s what happened to Thora Birch… [Dlisted]

- Gwyneth Paltrow’s face: What’s going on? [Lainey Gossip]

- January Jones is naked. Theoretically. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW]

- Michael C. Hall is getting a divorce, too. Why not? [IDLYITW]

- Katy Perry’s cleavage looks a little lopsided. [HollywoodTuna]

- Reese Witherspoon seriously keeps looking better and better. [Popoholic]

- Tom Cruise nips, anyone? [The Blemish]

- So that’s what happened to Clark’s dad on Smallville… [EgoTV]

- Prince William getting married all makes sense now. [BuzzFeed]

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Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  1. gogo

    yeah classy and elegant

    FIRSSSt!

  2. McFeely Smackup

    What is with chicks who are into the stucco school of makeup application? Bad enough that their faces look like a greasy sculpture made from raw chicken skin, but don’t they even care that it’s not the same color as the rest of their body?

  3. As always she is shellacked with cosmetics.
    However it’s a good call for her to be wearing black, hoisting & presenting the tits, and covering up those beefy upper arms.

  4. Nikster

    It’s the weight. She only looks good when she’s really skinny. The pound of makeup doesn’t help.

  5. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    You can’t get much closer to pop diva boobage than this photo.

  6. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    Maeby
    Commented on this photo:

    she looks like a slightly cuter miss piggy. SLIGHTLY.

  7. Rough! Rough! like a dungeon dragon

    I have come to notice that. She does have that 2 face going on. don’t she?

  8. g!

    Jessica??? I think she looks like MARIAH PREGNANT!!!

  9. GravyLeg

    I respectfully disagree sir… They may both smell like bacon but there is only one BILLION dollar bimbo in pop music. Jessica for the win.

  10. Rough! Rough! like a dungeon dragon

    Sometimes X-tina’s face turn as if she saw Frodo Baggins ring. I love you X-tina…

  11. jojo

    Talk about mud flaps, that girls got em.

  12. nonminti

    hm…I can hardly remember how her real face in natural way looks.And I can bet it looks better :( she put all her money on cosmetics and all cosmetics on her face to show us.

  13. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    fooey
    Commented on this photo:

    darker neck makeup to hide burgeoning double chin…check

  14. fooey

    Jessica Simpson? More like Boy George

  15. Dan

    yeah, the makeup is too much…

  16. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    Peter
    Commented on this photo:

    She is so ugly!

  17. She kinda looks like a fatter yet cleaner version of that Taylor Momson chic.

  18. derp

    Seriously…with all the money in the world, how hard is it to walk into a cosmetics boutique or hire a make-up artist to just hand you the right shade of foundation? You can see the freaking line where it ends at her jaw! And cut the ‘old Hollywood glamour’ crap because if you are too ugly to pull it off it just makes you look trashy

  19. Icu

    Despite everything going on with Christina, I’d eat her ass. So Christina, if you’re in the market for a good, soul stirring and eco friendly ass munching, have your people call my people.

  20. Drunk Donnie

    Slap some mayonnaise on that bitch!

  21. Lil

    Thora Birch’s parents are porn stars….I did not know that.

  22. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    jt
    Commented on this photo:

    how can i get my mouth on those? seriously? does anyone know anyone who knows her breasts?

  23. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    dengue fever
    Commented on this photo:

    These shits is tired. Lookin shameful out that $100 bra I’m sure

  24. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    Rachel H.
    Commented on this photo:

    Is it just me or is she literally indistinguishable from the tranny in Hedwig & the Angry Inch? http://www.greasy.com/panthurdreams/hedwig_angry_inch.html

  25. Juano

    Jessica Simpson? Ummm, well, maybe not. More like a blond Snooki….can’t wait for her to start doing condom ads.

  26. Nen

    Why, Cruella Deville! It’s nice to see you chose to dye your hair all the way blonde. That whole half dark, half light like a vanilla/chocolate cookie really wasn’t doing it for you, to be honest. Now if we can only get you to tone down the face paint and stop wearing the skins of innocent puppies…

  27. When did Marilyn Manson go blonde?

  28. wim

    pssssssst: SHE CAN’T BE DUMBER.

  29. M

    wow, I cannot believe you acknowledged the existence of Assange…… it’s just that this story is the hottest news and gossip in Europe and you never even mention it

  30. Galtacticus

    She doesn’t know yet but soon her career will make a big jump up…

  31. Rough! Rough! like a dungeon dragon

    Mayor Quimby is alive and cheating. Apparently, it was a mayor from Springfield Illinois not the Mayor we recognize. My reading comprehension strikes again. Apologies to both five and four fingered families.

  32. Mark

    I know she probably smells like a wet ashtray but goddam I would completely wreck her.

  33. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    AteIsEnough
    Commented on this photo:

    What happened to her? She use to be hot and interesting, now she looks freakish and acts like a nut-job. WHY do all these celebrities go fuckin’ crazy after fame?

  34. cc

    This isn’t the same chick who was in the ‘Dirty’ video. We all know that.

  35. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    Anita Bonghit
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to stop. The eating, the acting career, the music career. Just stop it Christina.

  36. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    GIGI
    Commented on this photo:

    Some Guy said Christina looks like The Tranny, in that Movie. I looked to see and OMG, she does! I am A big Fan of Christina, and happen to look like her, but this is going a bit bad for her now. She gained a lot of weight, and now people are making fun of her. also she is going out too much partying, and getting drunk. What happened Christina! What are you doing to yourself? this is not good! Hope Christina will go back to being the nice sweet woman she used to be. A little edge is ok, but first she gets rid of Jordan, for this unknown, who is living off her, and then she is drunk, every night! Wishing Christina, Good Luck! GIGI

  37. Christina Aguilera Burlesque Premiere London
    CHoc DOnut
    Commented on this photo:

    Something’s wrong with this piglet. She’s aging so horribly, and she won’t give up the tramp makeup and hair. She’s really quite a spectacle. Get some class, lady.
    Is it really this hard? She must not listen to any stylists around her.

  38. Amy

    That’s actually Jessica Simpson’s tranny celebrity impersonator.

  39. Diana

    I used to look up to her, she used to be different but now that I’ve been hearing about what a diva she acts like, I’ve been liking her less and less.

    She needs to go back to having long blonde hair and skinnier eyebrows. She just looks bad in every picture nowadays. Fuck the bleach blonde short hair, it looks horrible!

  40. dcolumbus

    Is it just me or does Christina look like a tranny? She’s never looked good to me…

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