Christina Aguilera Has Sex in the Bathroom During Family Gatherings

February 25th, 2011 // 77 Comments

When she’s not blacking out in random celebrities’ beds after showing up uninvited to their parties, Christina Aguilera has acquired a new habit of banging her boyfriend Matthew Rutler in the bathroom during family gatherings, according to Us Weekly:

“Her friends are fed up,” the source says of Aguilera’s recent antics, which included a New Year’s Eve blowout fight with her mom and a booze-filled night of crying at L.A. club The Dime in January. “Nobody can get through to her. They think she’s trashy. And her ego is out of control.”
… “She’s really spiraling,” says the source. “I would be shocked if she’s not in rehab in the next month or two.”

Somewhere Jordan Bratman sits alone and confused, wondering why she never had sex with him near the toilet. “Am I not the handsomest of the Mole Guards?” he asks. “Are my pelt and claws not luxurious in sheen and burrowing prowess? Have I not sired a child with such vigorous use of my pants drill that the Caves of Underland 8 trembled?! THIS MOCKERY SHALL NOT STAND! — Or I’ll just eat some carrots out back. Without wiping my feet after I’m done digging!” *shakes fist*

Photos: Bauer-Griffin

superficial

  1. hot

    u r hot n sexy.

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