Christina Aguilera Filed for Divorce, Let’s Look at Her Pumpkins

October 14th, 2010 // 47 Comments

PUNNED!

Christina Aguilera reportedly filed for divorce this morning then made her way to Mr. Bones’ Pumpkin Patch to prepare for her metamorphosis into Shauna Sand. Or at least that’s what’s happening in my head because I dare to dream:

“That’s right, show those gourds your rutabaga. They’ve been bad. Oh, no, it’s Lorenzo Lamas. He’s after your stripper heels! Run in slow motion!”

(It’s a magical world in here, folks.)

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. It's Still TAB

    Wow, that was fast..none of “we are going for a trial separation bullshit..”

    10:1 next week you’ll see her out with some “guy friend” of hers, cause she needed a shoulder to lean on during this trying time..

    Yea right, she got tired of looking a Bratman’s fug looking face..

  2. josh

    She is over.

  3. Marco

    I see no pumpkins any longer. Maybe some squash?

  4. dude

    so damn average it hurts. And she’s taking on Audrina Patridge in the “Battle for most Acreage between your Busted Titties”.

  5. imagen

    She’s looking like a fat Julianne Hough.

  6. Parker

    But I’m pretty sure in third grade when we were learning the fruitbowl woman she had melons for tits, cherries for nipples, peach for vag, and pumpkin for butt not boobs.

  7. Hipster glasses

    Never liked her music.

  8. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    Spooks
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice gut

  9. Rough--i can assure you, im classier than you.

    Uh oh maybe I call foul prematurely, about the mobile lock out…you shouda, I’d get more things done…

  10. R

    I love her so much. I hope she is strong enough to handle this tough time, especially for Max.

  11. Doody

    She’s sure packed on the lbs. Lookin’ pretty porky.

  12. Doody

    She’s sure packin’ on the lbs. Pretty porky there mamacita.

  13. I’ll be curious to see how much alimony and property split her husband gets.

    That’s the thing ladies, you love that California divorce law when it swings your way, but some days man bites dog and CHA-CHING!! You get some dude dragging millions out of his skanky celebrity ex wife.

  14. Apostate

    Bratman-free dessert? Yes,please!

  15. Ricky Rao

    i never knew her husband had a name……i always assumed he was called Mega Jew

  16. Turd Ferguson

    Never was hot to begin with and time has not been a friend.

  17. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    Woofus
    Commented on this photo:

    Even though she can sing, why do I find her and her music so boring? Really, she’s never been that interesting as a pop star or a person. Even through the “Xtina” phase

  18. Papasan

    She is still extremely hot, and you people are all gay.

  19. bruce

    she is over

  20. Jester

    Love her, Love her, Love her……..But let’s hope this divorce snaps that fine body back into shape, poor girl sure has had trouble getting that form back. Sing to me Xtina!!

  21. Ash Bones

    Her naked feet on the slide kinda turned me on.

  22. Yer Mom

    FUCK THIS BITCH. She cut up her son’s penis for that asshole jew husband of hers. Hope he was worth it.

    • Fishstix

      Jews are terrible people, but not because they circumcise their sons.
      You act like they cut it in half.

  23. Pris

    Although it’s nice to see her looking like the rest of us (a mom, a human, a few extra pounds), makes me wonder if she’s going through some disappointment of her last album not trumping Gaga. She can sing, sure, not my personal taste. As far as pop queens go, Gaga all the way.

  24. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    lurker
    Commented on this photo:

    Actually she looks very pretty in these photos having fun with her son like the rest of us would do.

  25. It’s just trial separation. I wish she is tough enough to hold this rough moment in time

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  26. terryo

    She is hot! Will have no problem finding a new guy if that is what she really wants. I hear she and Sam Ronson have a thing going…mmmm

  27. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    Tommy Lee's Cock
    Commented on this photo:

    Shes fat again…

  28. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    Mai-Tai
    Commented on this photo:

    Her kid is super cute.

  29. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    festie
    Commented on this photo:

    i love christina’s body like this. looks good on her. course i also like the slimmer christina as well. hate the fucking lesbian/gangsta hat though.

  30. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    Commented on this photo:

    I wonder what it would be like for him to say “My ex is Xtina” or “Xtina is my ex…. er…X” But the again, any way you take it, she always was and always will be his “X”, just that the spelling might change depending on what stage of the relationship you’re referring to (stick an “e” in front for 2010 and beyooooooond!)

  31. I wonder how he’ll feel saying ” Xtina is my ex” or “My ex is Xtina”. Any way you take it, she always was and always will be his “X”, just that the spelling will change depending on what stage of their relationship you’re talking about (stick an “e” in front the “x” for 2010 and beyoooooooooond!)

  32. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    krraank
    Commented on this photo:

    Better

  33. Christina Aguilera Divorce Then Pumpkins
    Annber
    Commented on this photo:

    i diddent know she had kids

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