BEST OF 2012: Christina Assulera

December 31st, 2012 // 24 Comments
BEST OF 2012
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Greetings, exalted one. Allow me to introduce myself. I am The Superficial Writer, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Photo Boy Solo. (He withheld sex until I wrote that.) I know that you are powerful, mighty reader, and that your anger with us not posting must be equally powerful. As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: These rehashed photo galleries from the past year. They have boobs in them. And sometimes butts.

NOVEMBER

In case Exhibits A, B, C, D, E weren’t proof enough that 2012 was the Year of The Ass, here’s a ginormous Christina Aguilera at the AMAs where she answered the age-old scientific question: What would happen if Kim Kardashian and Snooki made a baby that could withstand the herpes smelting process? At last you can rest in peace, Galileo.

Posted: 11.19.2012

Original Post: Christina Aguilera Was At The Am- JESUS CHRIST!

Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN

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  1. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    freakydeacon
    Commented on this photo:

    You’re also talking about the difference between a 14 year old girl and a grown woman. I promise your girlfreind is fatter than her. She weighs like, 115 pounds, tops.

    • tao

      Are you saying Christina only weighs 115 now? You have gotta be kidding me. She was much more than that.

      Also, Christina wasn’t 14 in that picture. She was 18 when Genie in a Bottle became a success and her career got going.

  2. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    MFer
    Commented on this photo:

    “A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.”

  3. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Bree
    Commented on this photo:

    Breaking News: River Phoenix isn’t dead. He’s just been hiding behind Christina for safety.

  4. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Bree
    Commented on this photo:

    On Dec. 21st, if your bomb shelter fails, have no fear. You can always take up shelter underneath Christina’s lower back fat.

    • Schmidtler

      I’d feel better outside taking my chances that whatever falls out of the sky will be better than whatever might emanate from Xtina’s poop chute.

  5. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Beast
    Commented on this photo:

    Snooki’s BIGGER sister

  6. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/01/aunt-340_183.jpg[/img]

  7. gypsy18

    Schmidtly, Bree, Anderson Pooper: WOW. Do you all hear yourselves? You all are full of so much hate & vitriol. Dear God, would you walk up to someone who is overweight & start calling them names & laughing in their faces & saying how much they stink? Looks like y’all got a LOT of work to do on yourselves in 2013. How about you start by putting full-length photos of yourselves up on here?

  8. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I adore Pitbull. DALE!

  9. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    I love Pitbull! It’s his planet, he just lets us live on it.

  10. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    omg wtf had happened to her?????

  11. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    hal85
    Commented on this photo:

    All I can think is HOLY SHIT!

  12. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    areliuga
    Commented on this photo:

    asstastic

  13. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    anti fork anti spork
    Commented on this photo:

    PUT DOWN THE FORK YOU FAT ASS BITCH, i use to think you were hot :(

  14. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Jess
    Commented on this photo:

    what the heck is this, eeew disgusting.

  15. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    electrcguy
    Commented on this photo:

    is that the fabled centaur?

  16. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Fred
    Commented on this photo:

    Christina is too big to fail!

  17. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Bob Smalley
    Commented on this photo:

    Look closely. There are two small planets orbiting her butt.

  18. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Shanequa Johnson
    Commented on this photo:

    Her but is pregnant.

  19. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Walt
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s hiding my barrel of $11 million dollars. Leave her alone.

  20. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    well, she doesm need something to distract the attention from her shading. Man, that face is painted like the war is coming

  21. Christina Aguilera Cleavage 40th American Music Awards
    Commented on this photo:

    Terribly obvious photoshop….she’s three times the size of the shadow behind her.

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