Christina Aguilera Defends Divorce

December 2nd, 2010 // 56 Comments

Because this won’t make her look guilty, Christina Aguilera agreed to an interview for the latest issue of People where she defended her divorce from Jordan Bratman, who apparently didn’t talk to her enough on the phone or whatever rationale she’s using:

“Things were so unhealthy and unhappy for both Jordan and me, I knew I had to end it,” the Burlesque star, 29, tells PEOPLE in an exclusive interview. “I really didn’t want to hurt Jordan, and I felt torn about splitting our family up. … When you’re unhappy in your marriage, your children are the ones who suffer.”
… Since filing for divorce, Aguilera has been out in Los Angeles and New York City with a new man, Matthew Rutler, a set assistant on Burlesque.
“He’s the kind of person you could spend hours with on the phone talking to and all of a sudden it’s daylight,” she says.

I love how all Christina Aguilera had to do was say, “I woke up married to Jordan Bratman,” and not a single one of us would’ve judged her. Instead, she paraded out a bunch of excuses about doing what’s best for her kid, not hurting Jordan, yadda yadda yadda and then started in on portraying Matthew Rutler as the second coming of Robert Pattinson to justify him knocking her up while she was still married. So, now, she looks like a cheating whore trying to rationalize her whorery when, again, all she had to do was say she was tired of a husband who kept digging in the neighbor’s garden. Or, you know, not give an interview in the first place. But, hey, sometimes it’s fun to lie yourself in print. Right, huge penis that I have?

Right.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

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  1. netguy

    women always have excuses.

    • RandaI

      He clearly has been hurt, although some may say that he’s made a mountain out of a mole hill.

      Randal

      • Digging in Gardens

        hahahhahhahahahhhhahahahahahhahhahahahahahhahahahaah
        I’m talkin’ HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaahahahahahahahahahahahha

  2. Are those the blue veins I know and love?

    .

  3. Richard McBeef

    “He’s the kind of person you could spend hours with on the phone talking to and all of a sudden it’s daylight”

    Daylight is the enemy of the mole people and her comments are another stab at Hans Moleman’s heart.

  4. Cock Dr

    Men are not the only ones to sometimes get way bored in a marriage.
    I guess Mr Bratman’s complex burrowing games just weren’t enough to keep her amused.

  5. Hilarious

    Oh my god. It is said when a marriage breaks up, but the fucking “burrowing” comments are KILLING me! LMFAO!!!

  6. Deacon Jones

    Yes, good writing FISH. I almost want to say the GW is subbing for you.

    Her makeup makes her look like Mickey Rourke in drag.

  7. He must eat pussy really well…because other then that I DON’T see ANYTHING attractive about this dude…

  8. RoboZombie

    Whore. Nice jugs though…

  9. jojo

    Old and Fat AND married is no way to go through life.

  10. McFeely Smackup

    I’ve never seen this chick NOT look like she had makeup applied with a heavy nap paint roller.

    I assume that underneath all that makeup, she has the skin of edward james olmos.

  11. boing

    i would wreck those stupid boobs.

  12. anonymous

    gotta love how she leaves out the fact that she was already banging a new guy before she filed.

  13. juniper

    I’ve never understood the public perception of these two at all. He’s not that bad looking at all – esp. in the other pictures where he’s a little more groomed. He’s certainly on par with her ugly ass face. Unless I’m missing some generally known shit about his personality, I just don’t get this at all. This so clearly was a baby hunt from the start. Get married, get baby, get out.

    • What?

      The guy is butt ugly. Unless you like this kind of hideousness. That is one ugly goofy looking face. Anyone that looks like that should not be have sex, much less reproducing such a morphological travesty.
      No offense.

      • Deacon Jones

        That’s why the only trim most Jewish guys get is from equally repulsive Jewish “women”

      • Gravy

        I’m with juniper. Christina is the ugliest major star around nowadays. Her face in its natural state is fucking ugly beyond belief, and her pathetic attempts to improve things with whore spackle, bleaching her hair to translucency and tittying herself to relevance add up to a giant fail. Add to that her terrible arrogance and off-putting personality, and she seems like a pity fuck for any guy.

      • anthropos

        You mean Khazar women. Jewish is a cult not a race. Hebrews. They were the ones living in a country called Israel. The Khazars are not the people from the Bible just as Christians today weren’t.
        Just sayin’.

    • Salad Face

      She is/has always been/will always be an unsalted butter face. Yes, even in the “Genie” days- YES, even in the “Dirrty” days. This girl was always a Sears catalog model the day after the shoot. Shiny and bowl-legged. I’ve always been curious where her arrogance comes from… must be from other mole-men telling her she’s hot all the time.

  14. ariana

    she’s such a desperate slut, what did she think that his face would change after a few years?

  15. Sheena

    Whorery?

    I love it when you abuse the language, Fish.

  16. Mikehunt

    Somebody needs to tell him to keep his chin up.

  17. I am pretty sure divorce hurts kids more than staying together does. When looking at my friends (between those whose parents got divorced asap vs those who did after the kid moved out) it was the ones who were growing up that suffered the most from the divorce.

    • WestwardHo

      well, i think you’d be wrong on that one, there. my parents stayed together for the kids, and we used to pray nightly that they’d just get a divorce already. living in that kind of angry, hostile, tense, unhappy environment is tortuous for children — who usually blame themselves for all of it — and demonstrating the myriad ways in which a marriage can suck on a day-to-day basis (when it’s over the in hearts of man and/or wife) is simply teaching kids that relationships have to be horrible and painful, and the only ones that “work” are those that don’t work. there’s not enough therapy in the world to erase the lessons you learn in that particular situation.

      • yeah my parents did too and so did my wife’s. and so do we. but my kids said they dread us divorcing so i guess its case by case. unless there’s a serious physical threat then id err on the side of stats that show kids from broken homes have it rough too but with half the support. oh yeah and take fuckin responsibility for creating a family.

        called bein a man

      • Alexandra

        Far too many people think it’s ok to just be miserable and unhappy in their lives and relationships. As a girl who is thankful that her parents divorced, I can tell you that no physical threat is not an excuse; mental and emotional discontent is still harmful to children and families. It disgusts me when people try to justify staying together, when they know darn good and well that they are miserable.

        My parents divorced when I was 17 and they were able to fix the problems in their lives while they were apart. Four years later they reconciled and were remarried. So don’t anyone tell me that divorce is a bad thing. You cannot work on your personal problems if you’re in a relationship that feeds off those problems, and especially when you’re making excuses to string the relationship out for the sake of others.

  18. spinsugar

    FML LMAO. You and I, Superficial Writer, are long lost soul mates. Our senses of humor – identical. Will you marry me?

  19. Hank

    Definitely a lot more “boring” in this marriage than most, ya dig?

  20. Hank

    Since Christinia is making her acting debut in a documentary about whores, does that mean we can expect to soon see Jordan Bratman starring in a proposed Brad Pitt movie about the Chilean miners?

  21. Juano

    The whole episode just highlights how ignorant and self important she is. I saw an interview with her a few days ago for that fiasco she calls a movie; she is clearly an idiot. Probably exploited by her parents, so she is undereducated.

  22. Putting Rough, back in romance

    Hey Bratman, if the palimony suit didn’t work out I would advise you to copyright the following quote.

  23. Donkeypunch

    She sickens me.

  24. ilikesake

    All I ever think of when I see X-tina is an interview she did around when Britney got married. She comments that Britney’s career is over and that Britney should never had gotten married….

    I’d like to present to the court exhibit A: She eventually marries an ugly hamster looking guy (probably because he knocked her up and she didn’t want to look like a SUPER WHORE) to eventually leave him 2 or so years later? WOW…talk about irony

  25. Lisa

    I thought moles were nocturnal. So what was the problem? He wanted to burrow instead of talk?

  26. Christina Aguilera Jordan Bratman
    Ashley
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks pissed

  27. molly

    good girl christina. i’m sure beastiality is illegal in your state anyway

  28. Max

    “He’s the kind of person you could spend hours with on the phone talking to and all of a sudden it’s daylight”

    So he’s GAY is what you’re telling us. Which I guess makes alot of sense, seeing that you were whoring around with that Sam beast for the past several months.

  29. Putting Rough, back in romance

    Hey Bratman? If the palimony suit didn’t work out I would advise you to copyright the following quote: “He’s the kind of person that you can spend hours on the phone to and all of a sudden its daylight”. No need to thank me buddy. Its on the house…

  30. that son of a bitch.

  31. sobrietyisacrutch

    Didn’t I read somewhere that Jordan might be the father? So she got pregnant with “break-up sex”?
    Damn. That would suck.

  32. Andonanothernote...

    Fish, any plans on having another Superficial Banner Girl contest?
    I mean, Christmas IS right around the corner. Isn’t it the season of giving?

  33. Burt

    Defend her divorce? Why would she have to do that? She can’t stand him, he can’t stand her. End of story.

  34. matti

    She used to bang any producer around, google fucks for tracks. bratman was the one who would marry her.

  35. wim

    psssst: JUST TWO SICKMAKING AMERICANS, folks!!

  36. cm

    First, we still don’t know if she actually is pregnant and second, how do you know this guy is the father? Or are all of you hoping he is so it gives you an excuse to call her a whore?

  37. cm

    Fucking double standards.
    Men leave there wives for their knocked up side pieces ALL of the time. Like recently Swizz Beatz and Alecia Keys. She fucking tore that marriage apart and no one seems to care. In my opinion, you are all taking out whatever issues you have with women on Christina and basically every chick on this site. Very pathetic and scary.

  38. Lela

    I don’t understand why she is so defensive. It’s clear she started seeing Matt Rutler while she was married to Bratman, so why bother with these excuses which make her look all the more guilty? Why not just keep quiet, like her soon to be ex-husband is doing? If she wants Rutler, let her have him although rumours are he is using her to promote his band.

  39. Bitchesleave

    Perhaps her career would actually be going somewhere if she could maybe not incessantly think about getting boned 24/7. She’s like an overheated 16 year old, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. She should see a doctor or a shrink, maybe she’d benefit from some help.

  40. Mama Pinkus

    my theory: Ms. Aguilera feels upstaged by Lady Gaga

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