While all her contemporaries spend their summers fitting into bikinis – including Lindsay Lohan who’s 5/8ths freckle-hobbit – here’s Christina Aguilera in the strongest Spanx money can buy while promoting The Voice over the weekend because apparently she’s still on the show. Somehow scaring the shit out of Adam Levine while simultaneously wasting precious man-hours trying to invent camera angles that defy the laws of physics must translate to ratings, I don’t even pretend to understand television. Then again, Honey Boo Boo should’ve probably driven it home by now that there’s not even a science to it anymore. Just fucking film anything, doesn’t matter.
Photos: Getty
She still looks as greasy as mexican nachos.
I would eat those nachos.
Imagine having a really good singing voice, and perfect pitch, and working really hard to train it for years and years, and then auditioning for ‘The Voice’ thinking it’d be a great way to be seen and heard by millions of people…
And this twat end up being your ‘mentor’?
Ouch!
hehehe
Purple hair, pudgy body, doggie face. So the hair color has changed, that’s about it.
This reminds me… is Grimace still in McDonalds commercials?
Purple hair, Orange Skin, 5 Feet 1 Inch.
Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
I’ve got another puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
If you are wise you’ll listen to me
I’d still throw it to her.
Yeah, but would you ever want it back?
I threw that shit before I walked in the room!
Be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway.
Part of me wants to talk shit about her and then the other part of me realizes that unlike Britney Spears and 90% of the other auto-tune shit out there, she can actually sing.
It sucks! It’d be so much easier to mock her if she didn’t have actual talent.
purple and orange is all the rage these days. but busted face and bow legs are still out of style.
Bitch is tainting my favourite colour! :O
Mae West got reincarnated. Awesome!
Without the brains, charm, or wit.
This isn’t news. She’s had purple hair ever since those kids spilled grape juice on her in that LG Turbowash commercial.
Christina Aguilera always looks drugged on “The Voice.”
ugh, time to dye mine back to blonde, she just ruined it for me
Those spanx are working overtime.
I spanxed it overtime, looking at those chubby boobs.
Wait, so she is fat, but doesn’t want to look fat on camera? Crazy bitch. Put down the rack of lamb and hit the fucking gym.
Mmmooooooooooooooooooooooo!
She sure does put the ass is Classy.
I like it. Wonderful contrast with the orange skin tone.
I know you might be mean on her for getting chubby but she looks really hot with the Spanx on. Wouldn’t you prefer this to skeletal any day of the week? Boobs, nice makeup, curves….
fake boobs, orange spray on tan, make up overload…and now trashy purple extensions like a 17 year old would clip in….shes disgusting and still needs to lose 15 pounds
she use to be so hot and now she looks like a drag queen trying to look like Christina Aquilera.
The sausage’s casing looks like it’s about to burst open here.
And so the transformation into Grimace takes another leap forward.
bloated purple trash
She looks like dog shit, just as always. I don’t really remember when she stopped being hot, but it seems like a long time ago.
If she ate healthy, stopped drinking so much, and had a better stylist she would probably look okay.
i love your hair christina…they are all jealous
Yep, we’re all secretly longing to be used, abused, entitled, deeply insecure, malignant narcissists with no inner strength and no one to count on and a single talent (used to be three, but the weight gain has pretty much scotched the dancing and the modeling). I’m CONSUMED with wanting to be her!!!1!
Oh this must be the new colour of irrelevance by Cover Girl
I’d give you an extra thumbs-up for the British “colour” if I could.
Although for some reason I kinda like how the purple contrasts with her blue eyes and platinum blonde hair (would probably look better on a teenager), here she definitely looks like she’s doing porn. This pose, the parted mouth, arched eyebrows are the giveaways.
What is going on with the parallel vertical chin-ridges in these pictures? I’m sincerely curious. Is this just a weird physical thing that she’s always had but I never noticed, or is this what happens when face fat overlaps your old chin implant, or …?
And then tragedy strikes. Under extreme pressure a guy-wire holding the Christina’s titanium spanx together breaks sending the mighty structure crashing into talentless “who?”
Doro Pesch II
Oink oink!
Consult Christina A on how to go from hot babe to italian pasta grandma in 30 seconds.
Her face is in perpetual stink eye/dirty look. Why do you hate us so much Aguilera? You think you’re better than us? Curse yer mammaries!