Christina Aguilera almost exclusively wears stretchy pants or a form-hugging dress (both commando), except here she is actually wearing jeans while promoting The Voice last night. So if everyone could maybe shut up about elections and malfunctioning voter machines, let’s focus on how the hell something like this evens happen and who stands to gain the most from it. Now my gut tells me voodoo, but my heart says she secretly poaches whales with Kim Kardashian so they can harvest the flubber to fit into tight outfits. And sometimes just for a snack.
Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News
Big girls need lovin’ too.
I vote for fat Christina.
Is it me or is she looking more and more like Cyndi Lauper?
I’d She Bop to that.
If they can make jeans to hold Hamm and Fassbender’s front-junk, then they can make jeans to hold Kim and Christina’s trunk-junk.
No, I’m pretty sure that’s the flag from the Giants-Steelers game this weekend.
Giant, steel-enforced denim.
Each one of those stars is as big as our sun.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/photos/the-crap-we-missed-monday-5-21-12/the-crap-we-missed-0521-19
recycled jokes FTW.
I’m pretty sure you’d have to reanimate Fred MacMurray to “harvest the flubber.” (No, no Robin Williams. Bad. Bad.)
It would take him and his three sons.
By the way, Torgo, big fan of your theme music.
The Master will be pleased!
Space, time and gravity are interrelated. Her ass generates enough gravity to bend space and time. What you see is in reality a time displaced image of her smaller ass from two years ago.
Star-spangled bantha.
Star-Spanxed Banner
She just wanted to show off the one butt the bloggers can’t fuck.
Is Kim Kardashian going to sue for trademark infringement?
So Christina Aguilera’s ass voted for Mitt Romney. That’s what I’m getting from this picture.
Kim K wears dolphon clothes all the time even though shes a whale and nobody seems to shit talk her. are we upset because as a preteen/ teen Christina was scrawny and now as a woman and mother she has meat on her bones?
wtf is she wearin in her hair?! Kinda looks like ringworm
Xtina – “Speaking of ‘ButtFuck People’…”
My God, it’s full of stars…
Damnit…She just ended 35 years of crushing on Wonder Woman in half of a second flat. The Star Spangled Panties are dead to me now.
i’d fuck her in her fat ass.
That’s a creepy visual, Grampa.
You’ll notice that it takes the gravity of a thousand suns to contain that ass.
I’d jump on it.
Christina NEVER had a round ass. That thing is manufactured and it’s not a quality job.
damn i want those jeans, too cute!
Ever been hit in the head really hard and saw stars? Those jeans went on plain blue.
The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, in all of the directions it can whizz.
As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know, twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is…
I thought this was Kim Kardashian at first.
It’s a denim tent but you can call them jeans if you want.
This fat ass trend needs to stop.
Haaahahaha It’s a trend? I never thought of it that way! :D
Consider me a hepcat!
This is proof that black holes indeed consume stars.
And if you look closely, there’s a galaxy with planets, rotating around one of the those stars. I just found extraterrestrial life on Xtinas ass!! Your move SETI.
On earth, we call that Xtinas b-hole. Nice try. -_-
Bitch could have fit the whole Milky Way galaxy on her ass, but Milky Ways are part of the problem.
I don’t know if I’d call that “fitting”. I mean, just cause it zips, doens’t mean it fits.
I have no problem with a middle eastern country burning this.
I hope she can clean that ass properly because shit stains can be a bitch.
you look ok, i LIKE THIS FAT LOOK.
I bet she can rip some amazing sounding farts.
WHYYYY are people getting ridiculous things like butt implants now? Why?!
She looks like a fatter Cyndi Lauper.
Could someone break it to her that she is 32 and a mom? Dressing like you’re twelve when you are in your 3rd decade smacks of desperation. Also see Mariah Cary.
Xtina, BABY… SOoo sexy…