Christina Aguilera Can Fit Into Jeans? There’s No Way That’s Right

November 6th, 2012 // 48 Comments
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Christina Aguilera almost exclusively wears stretchy pants or a form-hugging dress (both commando), except here she is actually wearing jeans while promoting The Voice last night. So if everyone could maybe shut up about elections and malfunctioning voter machines, let’s focus on how the hell something like this evens happen and who stands to gain the most from it. Now my gut tells me voodoo, but my heart says she secretly poaches whales with Kim Kardashian so they can harvest the flubber to fit into tight outfits. And sometimes just for a snack.

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News

superficial

  1. Big girls need lovin’ too.

  2. dr venkman

    Is it me or is she looking more and more like Cyndi Lauper?

  3. DeucePickle

    If they can make jeans to hold Hamm and Fassbender’s front-junk, then they can make jeans to hold Kim and Christina’s trunk-junk.

  4. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Josephus
    Commented on this photo:

    No, I’m pretty sure that’s the flag from the Giants-Steelers game this weekend.

  5. USDA Prime McBeef

    Each one of those stars is as big as our sun.

    http://www.thesuperficial.com/photos/the-crap-we-missed-monday-5-21-12/the-crap-we-missed-0521-19

    recycled jokes FTW.

  6. I’m pretty sure you’d have to reanimate Fred MacMurray to “harvest the flubber.” (No, no Robin Williams. Bad. Bad.)

  7. Inner Retard

    Space, time and gravity are interrelated. Her ass generates enough gravity to bend space and time. What you see is in reality a time displaced image of her smaller ass from two years ago.

  8. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    LilDeuceDeuce
    Commented on this photo:

    Star-spangled bantha.

  9. She just wanted to show off the one butt the bloggers can’t fuck.

  10. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    theoriginal LJ
    Commented on this photo:

    Is Kim Kardashian going to sue for trademark infringement?

  11. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    So Christina Aguilera’s ass voted for Mitt Romney. That’s what I’m getting from this picture.

  12. what the huh?

    Kim K wears dolphon clothes all the time even though shes a whale and nobody seems to shit talk her. are we upset because as a preteen/ teen Christina was scrawny and now as a woman and mother she has meat on her bones?

  13. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Josie
    Commented on this photo:

    wtf is she wearin in her hair?! Kinda looks like ringworm

  14. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Diggy
    Commented on this photo:

    Xtina – “Speaking of ‘ButtFuck People’…”

  15. EricLr

    My God, it’s full of stars…

  16. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Squiggy
    Commented on this photo:

    Damnit…She just ended 35 years of crushing on Wonder Woman in half of a second flat. The Star Spangled Panties are dead to me now.

  17. Randolph Duke

    i’d fuck her in her fat ass.

  18. You’ll notice that it takes the gravity of a thousand suns to contain that ass.

  19. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d jump on it.

  20. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    amir
    Commented on this photo:

    Christina NEVER had a round ass. That thing is manufactured and it’s not a quality job.

  21. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Mike
    Commented on this photo:

    damn i want those jeans, too cute!

  22. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Ever been hit in the head really hard and saw stars? Those jeans went on plain blue.

  23. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding, in all of the directions it can whizz.
    As fast as it can go, the speed of light, you know, twelve million miles a minute and that’s the fastest speed there is…

  24. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Little Jimmy
    Commented on this photo:

    I thought this was Kim Kardashian at first.

  25. cc

    It’s a denim tent but you can call them jeans if you want.

  26. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    This fat ass trend needs to stop.

  27. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Grand Dragon
    Commented on this photo:

    This is proof that black holes indeed consume stars.

  28. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Tron
    Commented on this photo:

    And if you look closely, there’s a galaxy with planets, rotating around one of the those stars. I just found extraterrestrial life on Xtinas ass!! Your move SETI.

  29. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Sir William
    Commented on this photo:

    Bitch could have fit the whole Milky Way galaxy on her ass, but Milky Ways are part of the problem.

  30. giu

    I don’t know if I’d call that “fitting”. I mean, just cause it zips, doens’t mean it fits.

  31. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Alexxx
    Commented on this photo:

    I have no problem with a middle eastern country burning this.

  32. terry

    I hope she can clean that ass properly because shit stains can be a bitch.

  33. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    SAMMY
    Commented on this photo:

    you look ok, i LIKE THIS FAT LOOK.

  34. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Alec
    Commented on this photo:

    I bet she can rip some amazing sounding farts.

  35. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    WHYYYY are people getting ridiculous things like butt implants now? Why?!

  36. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like a fatter Cyndi Lauper.

  37. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Matthew Rutler
    Commented on this photo:

    Could someone break it to her that she is 32 and a mom? Dressing like you’re twelve when you are in your 3rd decade smacks of desperation. Also see Mariah Cary.

  38. Christina Aguilera Fat Butt Tight Jeans Adam Levine
    Commented on this photo:

    Xtina, BABY… SOoo sexy…

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