Christina Aguilera Sings Until Somebody Menstruates. Mostly Her.

January 30th, 2012 // 151 Comments

“A whooa-oooaa-whoooaaa why don’t you ever have an opinion about curtains, you assho-ooh-whoo-ole!”

Christina Aguilera performed at Etta James’ memorial service Saturday night and honored the late singer in the classiest way possible if classy means flashing your tits and letting menstrual blood slowly trickle down your leg because you’re a witch hellbent on waving your devilry in our faces. (We get it, you’re unclean. Now spare the harvest, wench of Lucifer!) That said, her people are already trying to spin it as fake tanner, so I probably shouldn’t jump to conclusions like this new one I’ve already moved onto: She’s going into labor! Quick, get the forceps in case it’s another mole-child and tries to use its birth claw to burrow out. Protect the breasts!

Photos: Getty, Splash News

superficial

  1. JJ

    At first glance it does look like period nightmare, but when you look at the full sized photo it is clearly self tanner. Though, as a woman, even if it’s NOT the horrible period nightmare, the fact that some people might think it is would be horrifically embarrassing.

    • I completely agree… oh sweet jesus! I’d be mortified!

    • Artofwar

      ….All you retarded music neophytes can say what you may about Christina Aguilera until your baby penises hardened and spurt.

      However, this bitch here can– SAANG!!!
      Clearly hands down–the best vocalist of her generation….Artofwar

    • dinosaurland

      Yeah, having anything running down your leg is pretty much a guaranteed death by mortification.

    • Jessesgirl

      It woulda been hilarious if this was period blood but it’s not, it’s self tan mixed with sweat. If it was period blood nobody would be asking “is it?” it would be bright red and unquestionably blood.

      • jo mama

        I don’t think having a crotch so sweaty that it runs down your leg is any less mortifying than dripping period blood. Personally, I’d say it’s worse.

  2. Donald Trump

    She appears to be having a very difficult brown.

  3. I’m going to float a third theory – anal leakage. Olestra rears its ugly head once again.

  4. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    The baby Jesus don’t wanna see them dirty pillows, bitch! Cover that shit up! Damn disrespectful chirrens, have mercy…

  5. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Dina Crackwhore
    Commented on this photo:

    If it bleeds, we can kill it.

  6. Cock Dr

    That’s a Class A fashion disaster no matter what it is running down her leg.
    Don’t all pop divas have gay stylist best buds with them at all times? Did she take her’s out partying last night and leave them on the curb?

  7. Any Guy

    I disagree. That is clearly chicken grease from the KFC Double Down she keeps in her pocket at all times. It was a long Funeral.

  8. JC

    You live a long life as a jazz legend, and in the end, you’re rewarded with…this at your funeral? Damn.

  9. She hit the brown note!

  10. Can

    Big Girl Protip: Never apply self-tanner to the inner thigh area as that is the first place you sweat when doing anything strenuous, ie. chewing, breathing, standing, etc.

  11. EricLr

    I would be willing to place serious money on “Dumpster Water.”

  12. narddog

    At least now we know why she’s bloated…

  13. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Does she not own a full length mirror?

  14. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s not blood, really.

    It’s gravy from the roast she stashed away for later

  15. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    Not surprising that it happened. Whenever I just listen to her music my ears bleed. I can only imagine that this would happen when you are singing it.

  16. Mr.Belching

    Someone should have stopped her way back in her ‘genie in a bottle’ days.

  17. Marveled

    Okay, people! Saying her vagina sweat ruined her self tanner is not making me feel any better about this picture.

  18. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    nannyman
    Commented on this photo:

    Doing her Kim Kardashian impression.

  19. Jordan Bratman is sitting somewhere deep underground with a voodoo talisman. In the last year he’s stuffed it full of bacon fat, alcohol, and chocolate. I’m guessing he made this happen by just giving the doll a good hard squeeze.

  20. Carolyn

    Does this nitwit have a rosary around her neck? If she’s Catholic she certainly must know that a rosary is not a fashion accessory. In any case why would any grown person wear it as a necklace? At the school where I teach only the low, thug-like types wear them.

    • JC

      Given that her idea of classing it up for a funeral was having only 65% of her tits hanging out, cheap tanner running down her leg, and (I’m making an educated guess based on the photos here) shrieking like a banshee, I’m thinking that the rosary was just a little extra icing on top of the dirrrrty cake.

    • Brooke

      They were in style a few years ago where I live, and I wore mine like a champ! Asian countries taking religious symbols and making them fashionable! Fun times!

    • BE

      The thing is this generation tosses crosses (and rosaries) around like they’re hair pins. Just another way to get some free publicity from the outraged Christians. A media trick first implemented by Madonna back in the 80′s no less. I guess Aguilera thinks she’s just being “retro” here.

    • crystal

      Really? You’ve never seen a pop star wear a rosary before? How quaint.

  21. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s not blood, it’s poop. She is totally making constipation face.

  22. dr

    It’s dooooooooooodooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

  23. Inappropriate. Period. I do not like the flow of the direction of such topics, and I will tamp on them until they disappear for another month or so, and then do it again. And again. They are like a curse.

  24. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    SIN
    Commented on this photo:

    Bend over a little more. Set those titties free!!

  25. That sexy fat librarian look doesn’t work for sexy fat librarians and they at least find books.

  26. vader

    That’s not blood, that’s doo doo baby!

  27. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    So rather than this being about Etta James, she makes it about Christina Aguilera. Classy.

  28. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    Maybe I’m naive but I believe it’s a fake tan gone awry. If it were something else, why wouldn’t it be down both legs?

    • Misana

      same way you get a leak on one side and not the other. I REALLY hope.. that’s not what it is.

    • Bert

      It is on both legs. Look at all the photos. On her left leg, it’s more toward the back but eventually it trickles forward to leave a pretty line on her leg.

  29. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Christina,

    Your boyfriend lied when he said he liked your fat ass. He also lied when he said he smashed all the mirrors in the house because he was a vampire.

  30. forrest gump

    when she was twelve day’s young she already MENSTRUATED, folks.

  31. maeby

    Oh my god that is SO embarrassing! Like one of those worst nightmare things. Also:gross.

  32. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Misana
    Commented on this photo:

    OH. MY. GOD!

  33. Brooke

    At least Aunt Flo didn’t bring a murderous goldfish this time.

  34. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    ITSME
    Commented on this photo:

    Whatever it is its not a good look!!!

  35. Christina so fat, she sweats gravy…

  36. Lilly

    What’s the point of wearing thongs when the red flower blooms?
    Or, what’s the point of spray tanning for a funeral? You don’t even look good tanned.
    Go to the tanning saloon, if you just need tan in a bad jersey shore way, so you are done for a week and you don’t have to spray tan in a hurry for Etta James funeral.

  37. Franka

    The mind boggles to consider what the harvest might have been had she performed after consuming a beef and bean burrito.

  38. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Boo
    Commented on this photo:

    She is getting to a BIG GIRL I think she trying to get the big contract from Jenny Craig so she can lose all that FAT!

  39. dinosaurland

    I’m going to ignore the menstruation and focus on the fact that it looks like she’s in a courtroom, trying to sing her way out of a parking ticket.

  40. Ha ha… GravyLeg…

  41. Christina

    I didnt see it in the vid. PHOTOSHOPPED is what i say,

    • Christina

      Not to mention a woman would notice that right away! We have lots of practice with our periods ladies….

  42. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    bearandbu
    Commented on this photo:

    Oversings. Overeats. Who gives a shit about this no-talent cow?

    • that's fucking right

      christina is extremely talented. EX TREMELY

      And I give her so much support for attending such a funeral despite whatever womanly issues may have occurred. It was beautiful.

      Jesus, it’s natural. What’s wrong with all you people?

  43. Dee

    Man, she just can’t catch a break can she?

  44. This chick needs to get with her moleman and dig underneath a golf course and stay there forever.

  45. That shit is gro-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-WOOOOAAAAHHHHHHHH-whoa-whoa-whoa-boobooly-boobooly-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeaheeeEEEEEEEEE-whoa-whoa-whoa-oss.

  46. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    I like to imagine this is her finishing the note started in the first pic, then forgetting where she was in the song.

  47. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    cp3
    Commented on this photo:

    Nope. This is the exact moment where she feels it running down her thigh and wondering if anyone has seen it yet. Nasty cow.

  48. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Tricky_Fish
    Commented on this photo:

    I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation… Now you’re putting the whole concert in jeopardy.

  49. The Everlasting Know-it-all

    Looks like fake tan crud to me. It would be pink if she had an accident like that

  50. Christina Aguilera Blood Leg Etta James Tribute
    Commented on this photo:

    So I’m assuming we can put to rest all of the people who have been denying the “she’s getting fat” comments, and universally accept that Christina Aguilera is officially recognized as “really fucking gross”

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