Christiane Plante: Hulk’s mistress revealed

March 12th, 2008 // 52 Comments

This is a photo of Christiane Plante who used to be the 33-year-old friend of Brooke Hogan until she kind of, sort of had sex with the Hulk. The shot is supposedly from her MySpace page which is no longer in existence. I guess she’s trying to let potential suitors know that yes, she does enjoy ballroom dancing, plastic surgery and, as we now know, a good moustache ride. Note to self: Drown upper lip in Rogaine. Seduce the populace. End note. It’s almost too easy…

Thanks to Chandler for the pic. I loved that episode when you drank coffee.


  1. Dre


  2. Howard


  3. Ript 1&0

    First you complete assholes! Life is back on track!!! :)

  4. Dre

    I’d put those silicone bags to some good use…as I’m sure the Hulkster did.


    how are her and brooke hogan friends, i thought brooke was like 16?

    it’s all a lie, this picture is from the late 80′s

  6. badda bing

    first of all, a 33 yo isn’t going to be friends with a 19yo

  7. veggi

    6- replace your y”s with h’s and you’ve got it!!

    PS: nice bedazzled prom dress..

  8. deacon jones

    mmmm what a filthy fucking whore, my kind of woman

    No wonder the Hulkster banged her, she has that look that just begs “please fuck me in my ass and then stick it in my mouth, sir”

  9. lucifer's left nut

    the very fact that she let that bald headed, roided up, slim jim colored AARP member bang her means that clearly i should have a shot at filling her holes too.

  10. Mex E. Melt

    somewhere a village misses its bicycle.

  11. shane

    This is quite shocking because she looks to be the epitome of class and elegance. I suppose looks can be deceiving.

  12. It's me Fuckers

    yet another media whore.

    Ript, is your life really spiralling down so much you think being first will fix it? Moron. I guess you’re life ISN’T back on track.

  13. mrs. ernestine jones

    don’t blame this tart for giving in. who could resist this level of manliness?

  14. JoBOO


  15. JoBOO


  16. WTF - I hate celebrities and morons

    #3 Ript you should really try getting a life or help or better drugs or kill yourself.
    Anyway I cannot blame the Hulkster for this one!!!!

  17. deacon jones

    One time, I let a man stick it in my a s s and then my mouth and I let him c u m in my mouth. Then I gave it back to him. It doesn’t mean I’m gay. I didn’t make eye contact.

  18. hell yeah


    that reminds me of a show on MTV True Life where this straight porn star took male enhancement pills so that he could fuck gay guys but said he wasn’t gay. actually at first i thought, bullshit but really if you take viagra you’re going to have a 4 hour boner regardless. the rest is just great acting.

  19. Cumdumpster

    Looks like a certified Cumdumpster

  20. OutRunner1

    She’s got more plastic in her chest than two Hulk Hogan action figures (Original and Hollywood. Why do I know what those are?)

  21. deacon jones


    Good one! Man, you really ARE gay.

  22. Gerald_Tarrant

    Ript, we need to go get ripped this weekend. That’ll put your life back on track.

  23. deacon jones

    NO! I’M GAY!!!!! I’M SOOOO GAY!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE ATM!!

  24. Ript1&0

    Sigh. If you’re gonna be my troll, at least get my fucking name right man.

    Just by being my troll, you are in fact, confirming the very meaning of my name anyway.


  25. LBot

    OMG she gots CANKLES!!!!!

  26. hacksaw

    I’d hit it.

  27. Lovers

    Wow I am your troll. It’s like we’re going steady.


    PS part three will be there for you sweety!!!

  28. The Laughing God

    Hmm those are definitely some cobble stone hips. Back those thick thighs into meh!!

  29. Ted Mosby

    She’s cute. I’d hit that….wait for it..

    I just hit it. With assunder.

  30. Troll

    Oh, and by the way – Yes. It is 12:19, I am here in my apt. alone and I am on this site.

    I’m old, I’m high, I’m single and desperate and I’ll never have kids because no one wants to fuck me. There, you happy? For fuckssake man, it’s whatever you want to call it.

    Now that we’re past that…
    Does this chick actually have the last name Loose? Who the fuck is she? Ah well, no reason necessary for showing tits, I suppose.

  31. Cry for help

    Um 31 what is your problem? Do you need someone to talk to? Maybe you should join one of those religious organizations like Jehoha’s witnesses or Scientology or take a class or something like that dear.
    As to your sex life, it does not seem appropriate to discuss that to random strangers on a forum like this I wouldn’t thinkl. Do you think anyone here really cares about you here?
    If you are trying to meet a man there are other ways honey. Not quiet so lewd.
    I hope you get better.

    When all seems lost never forget that the Lord loves you, even if noone else could give a fucking shit less. No why? Because you are old, cellulite ridden, are not nice to look at, and have a nasty personality.

    Die alone. Just hurry up already.

  32. monkeyfightclub

    supposedly, insteading of reaching orgasm like normal folks, the hulkster would give his overs a big boot to the chin and then follow up with a leg drop for the pin.

  33. havoc

    That chick has Dirty Sanchez written all over her…..


  34. deadbitch

    I see she indulges in the odd “cankle” too.

  35. PiTT

    The Hulkster should have stuck to Miss Elizabeth back in 1988….

  36. dude

    Dang. Lucky Hulk.

  37. grobpilot

    Looks like a tranny to me…..

  38. Any single, straight man looking at this picture of this woman knows that they would love nothing more that to have her buck naked riding you all night long while listening to “Erotic City” by Prince! Don’t act like you would’nt! If you post a negative post regarding my post, then everyone knows you are a lying motherfucker and everything I just wrote is true…

  39. Ida Hidat

    Wow, can’t blame Hulk for going there!! Probably shouldn’t have done it whilst still with his wife though……….

    The legend lives on.

  40. Mark B

    Ho: Thats it baby, give it to me… give it to me!!
    HH: Thats right bitch, take it.. take i.. FUCK, my hip my hip!!!

  41. babe

    She looks sexy. It is said she is dating online now. I saw her profile on millionaire&celeb dating site “W e a l t h yR o m a n c e.c o m” last week.

  42. wwe fan

    i carnt believe i looked up to you and now u hav dissappointed me and your country. I carnt believe u would do that to someone u maried and had kids with. now i now that i can never look up to you. WHAT HERO R 2 THOSEKIDS OUT THERE!!!!!!

  43. Lemon

    Maybe she felt lonely, so she did it . I don’t think she was wrong . Her AD had appeared on a club called . I just wonder what she would do in the future.

  44. Toolboy

    From the purely physical aspect of this (with these 2 retards could there be an intellectual/emotional side?) I would have to say she is much less scary than his she-hulk clown of a wife. Quite doable. I wonder if he serenaded her with a few verses of “Real American” before he swooped her into his arms (Pythons Brother!) and then mounted her in his squared circle of love…..I am sure she was confused by his speech impediment of starting every sentence with ‘Listen Brother-” though..

  45. blp

    Real life people have the name Chandler?!

  46. lila

    She is better looking than his ex, BUT she wrote a note apologizing to her former friend???!!! WROTE A NOTE????? What is this third grade? Dear Brooke, i am sorry, i had sex with your dad. Do you forgive me yes or no (pleez circle) Are we still friends? kinda kinda sorta? (pleez circle) F/F K/I/T W/B Christiane

  47. KickRocks

    I thought you meant the Incredible Hulk and I was actually interested for a second.

  48. Bozo

    I dunno what’s funnier the Hulk or you motherfuckin clowns

  49. Carmen

    What was the Hulk thinking? He risked too much for not much to look at. I’ve lost all respect for the Hulk.

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