It’s Time To Let Go of Christian Bale Starring In ‘Justice League’

July 2nd, 2013 // 16 Comments
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One of the predominant geek fantasies out there is Christian Bale returning as Batman in the Justice League movie Warner Bros. is dying to slap together so they can start printing out Avengers money. Which probably is a bad idea considering the last two times he played Batman Heath Ledger died and a baby got shot the ending to The Dark Knight Rises which is the only thing I was going to say just then. The only thing. Anyway, that’s all a moot point now because Christian Bale just told Entertainment Weekly that not only has no one even talked to him about it, he’s done playing Batman:

The actor says he hasn’t even been involved in official talks about a Justice League movie. ”I have no information, no knowledge about anything. I’ve literally not had a conversation with a living soul. I understand that they may be making a Justice League movie, that’s it.” But he says he’s not sad to pass Batman’s cowl into new hands: “It’s a torch that should be handed from one actor to another. So I enjoy looking forward to what somebody else will come up with.”

I’m entirely fine with this because, let’s be honest, Rises completely ruined Bale’s Batman. I actually watched The Dark Knight for the first time in a long time over the weekend, and they really should’ve stopped there because this is what the ending is now:

“Batman? Batman! Why is he running, Dad?”
“Because he’s the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So, we’ll hunt him, because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a silent guardian. A watchful protector. A Dark Knight.”
“That… sounds… awesome.”
“I know, right? Too bad he really went home to quit and never do any of that stuff. Now who wants ice cream?”

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  1. Smapdi

    Don’t they have to successfully float non-absurd Wonder Woman and Aquaman (hahahaha!) movies first? Good luck with that.

    Brainstorm: Jaden and Willow Smith as Wonder Twins Zan and Jayna! I’m sure Will Smith will be willing to fund another flop, just to get his damn kids out of the house. Wonder Twin Nepotism powers, activate!

    • Didn’t they make an Aquaman movie? With Adrian Grenier? Directed by James Cameron? I seem to recall seeing that movie. At least up until the part where the theater lost power and it turned out it was the whole city was blacked out. Right? That happened?

  2. Nonnie Moose

    Don’t forget the mandatory goofy comedy relief provided by the badly programmed CGI Wonder Dog!

    Oh, this is gonna be *epic*.

  3. How could you not cast Ryan Lochte as Aquaman?

  4. If Christian Bale won’t play Batman, how about Christian Slater? He’d make a good…well…maybe…awww never mind!

  5. Even if it weren’t an inevitability that a JL movie would suck, I don’t see what the big deal Christian Bale would be in the role of Batman. Now, I like Christian Bale quite a bit, and Nolan Batman films were (mostly) awesome. However that wasn’t really because of Bale. He was decent in the role, but it wasn’t Bale that made those movies good.

  6. Lissa

    Maybethe franchise finally realized that a man talking through his teeth to sound tough just isn’t as sexy as originally planned. Time to get someone new!

  7. Maybe they can really shit it up, cast Hugh Jackman as Batman, and make the Justice League movie a musical.

  8. Batman just wasn't that good Fish.

    They should have stopped at Batman Begins. The ending of The Dark Knight was something along the lines of:

    “So a whole fuckton of people have died because of general chaos and there are no witnesses to two-face whatsoever… instead of fighting crime like always and either leaving a couple of cases unsolved or pinning them on one of the (many) dead mobsters/the joker/etc. Let’s pin it on batman for -arbitrary reason that makes no sense- so we can have a *really* terrible closing quote on this film”

    Oh wait, it means batman can be even more of a whingey bitch in part III. So can Jim Gordon. And the new Robin character guy. In fact, pretty much everyone can take turns being a whiney bitch.

    Fuck that franchise. People are idiots.

  9. I don’t care if the Batman is Bale or somebody else. Because the Joker is everything who matters. Really.

  10. Jenn

    I wonder if Tom Cruise is tall enough to play Mxyzptlk. Aw, who am I kidding, of course he’s not. He can bring his own lifts like always.

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