Chrissy Teigen Won’t Be Getting Jennifer Garner’d

Because at some point Chrissy Teigen learned to block karate kicks to the face, she just basically called out Jennifer Garner for putting hot nanny pussy on the menu at Chez Batmoobs. Seriously, Jen, you didn’t know Affleck be fuckin’? Via New York Post:

“I do want to have kids one day, so it’s something that I have to think about. But the rule is no hot nannies. I trust John, but you never know with these men.”

And here’s the fabricated follow-up quote that you aren’t reading because I picked a nipple gallery: “I have full faith that in this specially designed, completely empty room devoid of any and all stimuli that my husband can remain faithful and what the fuck? Who put a lightswitch in here? Oh you don’t see a problem? The whole fucking neighborhood thinks we’ve been signaling for distress for hours.”

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