Chrissy Teigen’s Breasts Have Only Begun To Fight

I honestly don’t know how I’m supposed to top William Shatner’s steampunk dick-mobile, but here’s Chrissy Teigen continuing her topless assault on Instagram, only this time strategically covering up her nipple with a can of hairspray so the picture won’t get pulled. Because apparently seeing a tiny, pink flesh button will tear society apart at the seams if Instagram wasn’t there to bravely stick its finger in the dam of online nudity. My God, could you imagine if you could actually watch people fuck on here? Nothing would get done. *watches six-foot-high pile of dishes fall over* Not a goddamn thing.

Photo: Instagram