Chrissy Teigen’s Nipple Will Solve The Government Shutdown

October 1st, 2013 // 17 Comments

So I may have over-promised a little with that headline, but let me float something by you:

Maybe I didn’t?

Photos: Splash News

superficial

  1. In related news, productivity rates in the government have skyrocketed 375%.

  2. The Government shut down? So does that mean bills from the House won’t go through the Senate now?

  3. Where's Dildo
    Commented on this photo:

    I pulled my dick out for this? Call me when we have some GOOP tits.

  4. Hong Kong Phooey
    Commented on this photo:

    40-Something Douchebag: I’m gonna get a pic o dis ho and put it on my myspace page…god i’m so lame I want to die

    30-Something Fucktard: How you doin’ baby. Like the Crocs? 100% all American beef baby. Is my dew rag on straight?

    Chrissy Teigen: killmenow killmenow killmenow killmenow ooh, paparazzi.

  5. BIll Clinton
    Commented on this photo:

    big ol fat tittles!

  6. I’ve clicked on Fox News links that had a better payoff than that.

  7. Her nipple is a “Legend” in its own right.

  8. good lord, I love this woman. thai-norway hybrid. beautiful.

  9. ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

    I feel compelled to ramble, so bear with me.

    Given that she posted a picture of her bare tit already, this is rather anticlimactic.

    Don’t get me wrong, the bitch is pretty hot. But the desperate attention whoring has gotten to be a bit much these days though. She needs to go away. Also, I think I just realized what’s odd looking about her. She looks way hotter when she’s not smiling. It’s the teeth. Whoever did her veneers or filed down her front choppers didn’t do a very natural looking job.

    Of course, I wouldn’t want John Legend’s sloppy seconds anyway. I would say “I don’t mean to be racist,” but that is just some bullshit people say before saying something racist, so I’ll just say it – Her and Heidi Klum… I might lose my wood due to the possibility of the dark jizz that’s left behind. It just seems dirty, like porn star or hooker dirty. No me gusta.

    Oh well, this gold digging whore isn’t in any rush to jump on my cock anyway.

    tl;dr – Decent looking. Desperate for attention. No self respect and probably diseased. Even if I would fuck her, she probably wouldn’t let me.

  10. Delores Gipple

    what nipple?? that star isn’t even necessary

  11. Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Nice Do-Rags, white dudes.

  12. Vlad
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, technically, it’s just her areola peeking out to say hi, but I doubt that would draw as many clicks as saying her nipple.

  13. Commented on this photo:

    The guy on the right looks like “Jesus” from The Big Lebowski, PedaAss. Really Crocs with socks? His friend is a walking advert for condoms, penis head.

    • ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

      Not to be a vocabulary-nazi (say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, at least it’s an ethos), but the preferred nomenclature for Jesus Quintana was “pederast”, not a “PedaAss”.

      What’s a “PedaAss”, Walter?

  14. Commented on this photo:

    I think she’s nice to look at anyway.

  15. Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    Holly fuck! The shadow of a nobody’s nipple! Now, I have to grab myself with both hands and make me come fast and furious! Can’t believe how lucky I got today!

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