Chrissy Teigen & Brooklyn Decker Are Your Most Important People On The Internet

October 12th, 2013 // 19 Comments
Chrissy Teigen Brooklyn Decker

Thanks to having only four The Crap We Missed this week, and God smiting Pennsylvania for its wickedness (sorry) with a flood yesterday, The Most Important People on The Internet will return next week. And don’t worry, it’ll have all the gems from this past week, so you’re assholery wasn’t for naught. But to make it up to you, below is Chrissy Teigen and Brooklyn Decker demonstrating the Vagina Raspberry because we live in a bold, new era of social media that other species from across the galaxy should really want to get in on. And on the complete opposite end of that spectrum, here’s me fielding questions on Tumblr like I used to with Formspring before those meddling kids ruined it with their stupid mutt:

Shove Your Questions In Me – Tumblr

- The Superficial

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  1. Cock Dr

    I can’t stop looking at the lovely Ms Decker’s chin. It’s like a huge paleolithic hatchet weapon.

    • Martin Beck

      ya know , I think you have something there about that dangerous chin . I wonder how many carotid arteries she has cut through with that blade . I need to know . And guess what she isn’t pretty . so she can’t be from Brooklyn and if she is not , how dare she use the sacred name of that kings county .

  2. Bob

    If Chrissy’s forehead keeps growing it’s going to shove her eyes into her cheekbones.

  3. Interred Ferguson

    I wonder at which lull in her career, Brooklyn will finally hit Leno with that paternity suit??

  4. M R

    I swear to God John Legend has somehow been siphoning off Brooklyn’s fat beautiful tits into the body of Teigen–and all for her contrived nip slip in his shitty video–like the evil chocolate Keeblerian he is.

  5. crb

    “I only solved general relativity. But Vagina Raspberry?!! -You, Ms. Teigen are a Gott-Dang GENIUS!”
    -Albert Einstein

  6. So I miss my MOPOTI for one woman whose face looks forcibly squished in, and another whose face looks forcibly pulled out?

    There is no justice in this world.

  7. Darling

    Chrissy Tiegen has a HOT body but her face reminds me of “Child’s Play”.

  8. Deacon Jones

    I wonder what kind of porn I should beat off to today

  9. ALL of the foreheads in this photo alone could resurrect the Racquetball craze of the 80s.

  10. Nubian queen

    Another fine African American man with a white woman instead of starting a progressive black family with one of his own. Well he’ll be sorry in ten years because we all know they dont age well.

    • Sabado Gigante

      Fuck you, racist.

    • you are a stupid fucking racist bitch. she will age one thousand times better than you I’m sure. you are probably just a jealous, ugly, ignorant, racist, close minded hater. go fuck yourself. and she is half Asian so you don’t even know her ethnicity before you make your idiot asinine bigoted comments. not that ones ethnicity should matter anyway. go take a long walk on a short pier. queen? no real “queen” would say something so rude and stupid.

  11. Andy Roddick ruins everything.

  12. Mitch

    Is that one of Obama’s sons? He’s tiny, just like Barack’s brain.

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