Chrissy Teigen’s Breasts Hosted The Billboard Music Awards

Chris Brown brought his daughter to the Billboard Music Awards, and Kylie and Kendall Jenner got booed, but none of those are Chrissy Teigen’s breasts, so they only get those brief mentions – WEEP FOREVER NOW IN THE CAGE I HAVE BUILT YOU! – because I save my word juice for important topics like star-studded, multi-million dollar death threats and Britney Spears making this face. Haha! She thinks she’s people.

Photos: AKM-GSI, Getty