Chris Rock will not host the Oscars

December 11th, 2005 // 29 Comments

tn_chris_rock_oscars_cr.jpgYour only reason for watching the Oscars is gone. The Academy has decided to find a new host for the upcoming awards show. It turns out Chris Rock pissed off the wrong people by pointing out the obvious during last year’s event.

Word is, Rock alienated some academy members when he hosted the award show because he mocked the very thesphood of such thespians as Tobey Maguire and Jude Law. An enraged Sean Penn stood up to defend Law, saying the Brit was “one of our finest actors.”

Great, now I’ll probably have to marvel at 3 and a half hours of Whoopi Goldberg’s comedic prowess. Or even better, Billy Crystal. It’s clear that they’re trying to kill off an already dwindling audience, so why not just bring in Gallagher and get it over with?


  1. Donna A.

    I stop watching this years ago. I just read the next day who won what.
    Donna A.

  2. Georgia

    between lame hosts and Star Jones’ involvment there must be someone trying to bring down the oscars from the inside.

  3. rivercmb

    Sean Penn’s awkward defense of Jude Law was one of the best Oscar moments. Penn should have his dick and balls made into a statue for underappreciated actors.

  4. HollyJ

    I’m not sure who’s more predictable, Chris Rock’s line of humor or Sean Penn exploding about absolutely nothing. They both put me to sleep.

  5. Binky

    Looking forward to seeing Carrot Top finally taking over the Awards. Maybe he’ll even bring some of those zany props. Or something.

  6. hafaball

    That would be boring…if I did watch the Oscars, but ever since Shakespeare in Love won for best picture, I’ve lost all faith in any kind of humanity, even rituals that have wart hogs slaughtered to bring people back from the dead. So, I guess that just means Sean Penn is not only a coke fene, but has no sense of humor? Or maybe they can just find a way to cut the whole damn thing down to an hour, that’d be nice too.

  7. Dooley


  8. slinkhard

    Chris Rock sucks anyway.

  9. sadietolstoy

    Chris Rock is not funny. There’s more to being humorous than just being a sarcastic jerk.

    It doesn’t matter who hosts the Oscars anyway. It’s a boring ceremony and the people I like never win anyway.

  10. Captain Awesome

    Any award show sucks, people like Rock just gave me reasons to put up with them.

    I’d love to see David Cross host the MTV awards.

  11. Dtbb

    I want to see Salma Hayek and Shakira host the oscars together. Or better yet, forget the “host the oscars” part.

  12. mushmouth

    Chris Rock is funny. The bit on Blacks and Niggers is the greatest comedy bit of the last 20 years. As good as anything Pryor ever did in terms of being funny, disturbing and interesting.

    Of course, much as I enjoy this board I’ve learned that there apparently are an oddly large number of people who think no babe is pretty, nobody is funny and nobody can act.

  13. BurnZ

    Nobody even likes Chris Rock anymore. Doesn’t he have a new show on the UPN?

  14. Gambitgirl


    ok, now they are just making words up LOL.

    FYI, hollyweird needs to get a sense of humor about itself. the sean penn needs to get the stick removed from his ass. if he’s so damned miserable and grouchy all the time, why is he an actor if hates it so much!

  15. I agree that Sean Penn’s defense of Jude Law was both totally pathetic and totally awesome. And by totally awesome I mean totally pathetic. The bastard has no sense of humor. Example: he was not amused when I tried to steal his coke the other day.

  16. HollyJ

    “an oddly large number of people who think no babe is pretty, nobody is funny and nobody can act”

    Nah, I think it’s more that the truly beautiful and talented people aren’t fun to mock on Superficial.

    Besides, if Hollywood is supposed to be the standard for glamour, beauty, and fame, I think it follows that the bar should be pretty high for them–Higher than for the average American. Kinda like how champion show dogs are closer to standard than papered dogs from backyard breeders.

    And, well, Chris Rock just sucks =X

  17. Triumph the Insult Comic Dog should host. Now that would be classic.

  18. MrPloppy

    Why not combine all the award shows into one long self congratulatory love fest. It could be held on the 1st of January. Giving us all some thing to watch as we deal with our hangovers.

  19. bafongu

    Problem with these types is an absolute lack of any humility at all. They go from mopping up lung butter to the big screen in some stupid flick, and all of a sudden the Sun revolves around them. No appreciation whatever for the ridiculous wealth we provide them as they mouth stupid platitudes to the murderer/child molester/crack head cause de jour. That being said, anyone see the new Clooney flic??

  20. tess

    I’m not really surprised that Chris won’t host the show next year. This guy is usually very funny but he really messed up at the Oscars. His jokes were so stupid. He could have done a better job. It was soooo disappointing. He had a shot at becoming an american icon but he lost it. Plus, he didn’t have to point the finger at some specific actors like he did with Jude Law. It was sooo innapropriate. Law is just trying to do his thing and to make it happen in a very cruel and competitive business: Hollywood. Rock shouldn’t have dissed him in front of millions of people.

  21. mushmouth

    #16 – I hate hollywood, I hate hollywood award shows even worse, don’t get me wrong. If the oscars were on my back porch I’d close the curtain.

    I just happen to think Rock is funny.

  22. Jackie

    When Chris Rock hosted the Oscars it wasn’t funny at all. I say…BRING IN CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!

  23. PinkRose

    Chris Rock isn’t the “funniest” man in Hollywood, but he was amusing at that Oscar’s.

    Let’s face it…The Hollywood snobs (whoever they are..) that run the Oscar’s can’t handle Chris Rock because they have no sense of humor and who take themselves way, way too seriously. These are the same group of people that think Toby Maguire and Jude Law are “thespians” and kiss Sean Penn’s ass for goodness sakes. That alone makes me question a lot of things about their intellect. Chris Rock doesn’t need them and he’s is better off them IMO.

    Oh yeah..bring on Gallagher. Or Carrot Top. Heck..get David Hasselhoff to host the Oscars. I don’t care. ANYONE but Billy or Whoopi.

  24. derekd

    Everybody with an I.Q. over 80 by now knows that the oscars is just a popularity contest among members of the academy who also have fallen prey victim to the naseous institution of political correctness. So why anybody would watch it is beyond me and the person who has been cursed to host has a hell of a job on his hands. Between the F.C.C. and the alphabet soup of organizations that will claim they were offended by an offcolor(no pun intended) joke, it is not a coveted job. What happen to the old days when you could watch a Tom and Jerry cartoon and the black house keeper sounded like Maamee from Gone with the Wind? P.C. sucks and its ruining entertainment.

  25. eeyore182

    Two words: Will Ferrell

  26. wait….so does this mean I can host the oscars if i promise to kiss everyone’s ass, get on my knees for the members of the academy, and not be funny? because i could totally do that

  27. nikki

    Chris had some funny moments but generally he sucked. He’s not as good as Robin or Billy when it comes to having to think on his feet. And he’s hoelessly lost when he can’t use the “F” word. So this is no real loss. I’d like to see another woman get a shot at the job. Maybe Wanda. ha ha ha.

  28. c

    Actually, Rock’s comments and his material were all hopelessly outdated and tiresome. He actually went with the white-folks/black-folks. How many times has that been done? And, )as maybe this site mentioned at the time), Jeromy Irons’ few seconds on were funnier than Rock’s entire gig, and he wasn’t even trying.

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