Chris Kattan and wife separate after 8 weeks of marriage

August 19th, 2008 // 63 Comments

Chris Kattan and his model wife of two months are already throwing in the towel. But, yet, they don’t plan to divorce which would puzzle me if I weren’t too busy trying to figure out where the hell all the real celebrities are hiding today. Us Magazine reports:

After just eight weeks of marriage, Saturday Night Live alum Chris Kattan and his wife, model Sunshine Tutt, have split.
“Separated for the moment. No plans for divorce at this time,” his rep tells Usmagazine.com.

I guess you could say, “The honeymoon is over.” A ha ha ha! But, no, seriously, I’m sure the roofies just wore off. They’ll be fine.

superficial

  1. sagan

    First i would do him

  2. benbot

    she’s hot. he’s a chimp. case closed.

  3. kellie

    wtf i thought he was gay anyway

  4. Scary

    Problem:

    She’s hot.

    He’s a short dork.

  5. ozzacam

    I’m sure he had enough time to fuck her at least twice, possibly in the butt, thumbs up!!! ;-)

  6. Frank Rizzo

    … Dag, slow news day. No crazy fat, washed up comedians have anything to say today? Guess they all are watching the Olympics… or the Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget! Man that was a riot…

  7. Huh???

    When they first got married, I was all like “But he’s so totally and obviously gay”.

    Now that they split I am still all like “Of course, he’s so totally and obviously gay”.

    But now I am also all like “Why did they get married in the first place?”.

    No sir, things are not clearing up very well for me on this one.

    • Martha stewart

      You know, she could have married him because she thought he was funny, and she liked his personality!!!!! Just because people are famous, doesnt mean they are perfect!!( or gay!!) she could have been the worst wife evere or he could have been the worst husband!!!!!! When they divorced it was probably not because he was gay!!

  8. Truth teller

    Guess he couldn’t keep it in the closet any longer. She must have walked in on him boning some guy.

    He did pick a fine looking beard:

    http://www.jacksumcodes.com/st-small.jpg

  9. Smile

    He wants to explore other possibilities… Like being fucked in the ass. By strange men. Who like other men. Case closed!

  10. Lol. he is a joke, she just finally got a chance to look at his bank statement, and she hit the road.

  11. rough daddy

    look! all the time wemen say they want a funny guy,,,dont fall for it! theyll start thinking youre one of their girlfriends….
    at the end of the day theyll give it up to a bad ass who can keep em in check and on lock down…

  12. mr peepers

    I wonder if he eats pussy like he eats apples?

  13. cbs16

    @13

    I don’t even know what that is supposed to mean.

  14. jaime

    she probably realised he was gay too late.

  15. Ted from LA

    At least they gave it a fair chance. It could be related to the fact that she figured out he was an annoying fucking idiot. I would have recommended she just watch some old clips of SNL.

  16. hehe

    #14 Chris Kattan’s best role was Mr Peepers on SNL and he would eat apples like a maniac monkey.

  17. JM

    You guys want some cookies?

  18. So… she realized he is a troll and that being landlocked with him is a bad idea. At least he got to bang a hottie and can now go find some more strange…

  19. cbs16

    @17

    Now I know what that means, but I wish I didn’t. All those pieces of ‘apple’ flesh flying all over the place and the juice dripping….. Just ewe.

    Poor girl, we should hold a benefit for her…..

  20. literarycritic

    @#13: OW. My pussy just recoiled in protest (much like guys wincing when they see a testicle shot on TV). That is a horrifying image!

  21. havoc

    I always thought he was a creepy little dude.

    That Mango shit on SNL looked a little too natural….

    .

  22. literarycritic

    In other news, I think we now know at least one reason why she wanted out.

  23. Cash

    She tolerated his ass for 8 weeks? The woman must be a freaking saint, and I’m pretty sure I got a shot at sloppy seconds. Boo-Ya!

  24. Well, that’s about 7 weeks longer than I would have lasted..

  25. Harry

    That he’s with her proves once again: it’s good to be famous.

  26. buck

    I’m sure she said ‘ wow, he’s was on TV i’ll marry him’ and then realized he is ugly and will probably never be on TV again. So much for being star struck. On the other hand if I ever get on TV, even for a second, I will go out and get the hottest looking girl I can find and marry her. Very superficial.

  27. mer

    Um, Sunshine Tutt? Seriously?

  28. Nom De Plume

    He and Mini Me should co-write “Dating for the Vertically Challenged”

  29. woodhorse

    maybe it was that second helping of wedding cake

  30. Wha?

    He figured out she had no tits, She figured out he had no talent/money/dick.

    Ah well..

  31. Uncle Eccoli

    Marriage is an accessory to these people. It makes me sick.

  32. Mango

    Oh to be Mango!

  33. First, I am totally with #8. I always assumed he was gay and was like “wait…what???” when he married a girl.

    Secondly #13 is LOL of the day.

  34. NY Ted

    I’m surprised it even lasted 8 weeks. Would you want to live with Kattan?

  35. Blah

    Chris Kattan? Marrying a woman? I totally thought this guy was as fruity as they come. He must be in serious denial of his gaydom. And she looks like a gold digger. It looks like she’s cringing just having to touch him.

  36. roop

    Judging by Mango’s face in that picture he doesn’t seem to all to excited, I’d be beaming if I was going to be able to tap that for the rest of my life…or until Stephanie from Lazytown is legal.

  37. Joe C

    I guess it took her that long to find his stash of gay porn.

  38. Dark Knight

    That’s a model? I thought it was the Joker . . .

  39. kramer

    What kind of a fucking name is Sunshine Tutt?

  40. minniememe

    Poor Mango… I can just see him sitting sadly in a corner with a thought bubble of Haley Joel Osment and that music… “And I miss you, like the deserts miss the rain…”

  41. mafme

    She’s amazing for putting up with him for 8 weeks!

  42. Englishgirl

    His face looks like MiniMe’s! Have no idea who he is, but maybe he should have been engaged for longer……….

  43. rose

    It’s not a surprise~~~~~ It is said this guy is interested in dat*ng pretty models at Richromances.com. But don’t know if it is true.

  44. rose

    It’s also not a surprise that I regularly sodomize poodles. It’s true. See the pictures at Richromances.com!

  45. devilsrain

    When I first heard about that marriage I thought it was a joke. Im usually right. Fucking Hollywood. Maybe she thought well since im on the superficial thats good enough. She can start a carreer like Heidis now.

  46. Groucho

    #40, no kidding. That seriously made me laugh out loud.

    Sunshine Tutt! :D :D :D

  47. Hank

    Has anyone even consider that maybe he is a bisexual? He could go both ways and I def think he is one. He did date Jennifer Coolidge from Legall Blonde, and lived with her for a few years. I think they were also engaged for a short period. .

  48. Anyone that can’t put more then 2 months into a “marriage”, should never be allowed to get married again. Seriously, do these dipshits think that models really have anything in common with ugly rich dudes? Oh, wait, these MENSA women just like you for your personality…that’s it…

  49. Queefer Bukakke

    She probably found him with a couple of dicks in his mouth, with bikers attached…

Leave A Comment