In an Internet video released today, Chris Brown has finally made a public apology for the February 8 beating of Rihanna prior to the Grammys. In the two minute, scripted as all hell apology, Chris states his lawyers advised him against speaking at all about the incident despite his deepest wishes to do so. He then goes on to reiterate he’s seeking counseling, speaking to his minister and digging up the bones of Gandhi which he’ll consume in a protein shake thus lowering his unquenchable thirst for violence. Okay, maybe that last part didn’t happen, but would it hurt? Sleep on it.