Chris Brown charged with two felonies

March 5th, 2009 // 52 Comments

Chris Brown has just been charged with felony assault and making a criminal threat for his pre-Grammy attack on Rihanna. He’s facing a maximum of four years in prison, according to TMZ. His attorney had been gunning for a plea deal since Monday, and obviously, that didn’t pan out. But at least he has Rihanna back who he won’t try and blame for this at all. No way. – - RUN, WOMAN!

NOTE: Posted details of the attack earlier this morning that were leaked by the police. Probably the most romantic thing you’ll ever read – if you’re Ike Turner.

Photo: Getty
superficial

  1. GotYaBitch

    GOOD!!!!

    Fucking Scumbag!!!!

  2. Tom K

    Well, what do you know another fucking story about Chris Brown? I guess if I say what I really want to say about him everyone will comment about how I always talk bad about black people. Wow I wonder why? LOL

    I will leave this story to the pro’s……He’s all yours kids.

  3. Ram Punchington

    What-the fuck-ever.

    He’ll just say that with with the help of his pastor and Jeebus’s love, he’ll see the error of his ways.

    Seriously tho, does he get dressed in the dark?
    He should be charged by the Fashion Police.

    Punchington Out.

  4. Quinn

    They’re perfect for eachother. WhitneyBobby.

  5. Ryan the Canadian

    Good. 4 years. Great idea.

  6. Cool + he’ll get his ass beat by Jay Z’s goons.

  7. Horse

    Hey, if Chris Brown wants to go around and beat up chicks – he deserves jail time. Meanwhile, Rihanna can come look me up. BUT it’s gonna have to be 8 tracks and six packs while it hit that… (R.I.P. Biggie)

  8. Sarah

    “His attorney had been gunning for a plea bargain since Monday, and obviously, that didn’t pan out.”??? He hasn’t even entered a plea yet. He has only been charged! How can people be so stupid? People have been talking about this like he has been convicted and is guilty already. This is AMERICA people.. does “innocent until proven guilty” mean anything anymore??

  9. Jesse

    Come on, it’s not a felony to beat a worthless nig. But he’ll have to pay his $100 like anybody else.

  10. Tom K

    LOL @ 9.

    Where is True North when you need him to condem this “hate speech”

  11. missywissy

    Why does the guy at TMZ always have a drink in his hand????? Almost like it’s a part of his wardrobe. Shirt? check, pants? check, shoes? check hair? check drink? check

  12. missywissy

    8- you’re one of those idiots that’s going to go out and buy a Chris Brown album now that you know who he is. I bet you own every copy of Britney Spears’ cds.

  13. If Paris Hilton had to do a month in jail for driving on a suspended license, this prick sure a hell better do some real time.

  14. Jrz

    Uh oh! I hope she’s wearing her punch-proof mascara!

  15. Maybe he shouldn’t have sneered at her and slowly run his finger across his throat when the judge asked what happened…

  16. Maybe he shouldn’t have sneered at her and slowly run his finger across his throat when the judge asked what happened…

  17. Maybe he shouldn’t have sneered at her and slowly run his finger across his throat when the judge asked what happened…

  18. How lucky are those inner city kids, when Chris Brown will be preaching to them on how not to Pimp hand women as his Rehabilitation…

  19. norton

    @ Sarah aka #8.

    The fucker is guilty…. take a look at RiRi’s pictures, and let’s not forget that she was on the phone with a friend when he threatened to kill her.

    Dumbass.

  20. RichPort's Ghost

    See those 3 identical posts by me above?

    That’s because I feel that I’m so important, if I don’t see my clever reply immediately, I go into a panic & hit “Post Your Comment” again while shoving Fritos & Twinkies into my piehole… wash it down with some YooHoo, mmmm… that’s good.

    By the way, I’m glad that porch monkey gansta wannabe got his comeuppance. I thought he’d be charged with a 3rd felony, being a bongo-lipped jackass.

  21. Binky would say...

    …there was a second beater on the grassy knoll next to where the car stopped. Also, I’m still having a few problems with free fall collapse speed (of Rihanna’s face)…but, hopefully, Chris Brown will be incarcerated and forced to give hundreds of inside jobs…

  22. Ed Castillo

    Another modern day lynching. At least Rhiannon will stand up for him in court. Fuck the haters! You go girl!

  23. #20 – Sorry… your mom had me at the point of ejaculation… I was pounding the keyboard, and “Chris Browning” the side of her head.. That old bitch sure can deepthroat.

  24. Mr. Sensitive

    Rihanna seems like a full-on beater woman – unstable screechy psycho who “takes back” her “abuser” because she’s, well, an unstable screechy psycho, who loves emotional drama and chaos and feels lost and empty otherwise. She’ll threaten to testify on his behalf and say she triggered the whole thing and escalated it and kept hitting back at him and blah blah blah and then he’ll get a plea bargain that requires “counseling” and suspends everything else. Happens all the time. It’s difficult to get a conviction when the “victim” had the best orgasm of her life less than 24 hours later.

  25. Ed Castillo

    @24

    If that’s the case then no crime was committed. It was a consensual bitch slappin’.

  26. Jesse

    “It’s difficult to get a conviction when the “victim” had the best orgasm of her life less than 24 hours later.”

    Exactly. Like when Jennifer Hudson noticed somebody had sent two buckets of KFC along with condolence flowers.

  27. ifUmustfalterBwise

    looks like the single “disturbia” chris brown wrote for rihanna played out equally nice for both of them.not. this was definitely a predisposition on the part of CB. maybe he knew something we didn’t at the time.

    man is it just me or does chris brown seriously need some braces? it has always perplexed me that celebs can afford anything, yet forgo some much needed orthopedic reparation. or, perhaps maybe this is evidence that rihanna also knocked him one in the face. i keed.

    oh yeah, rihanna has lost all credibility and respect in her unfortunate situation despite having the entire world’s sympathy by stupidly getting back with chris. this should be a lesson learned for us all. RIHANNA GROW A PAIR! Leave the scumbag once and for all.

  28. ifUmustfalterBwise

    looks like the single “disturbia” chris brown wrote for rihanna played out equally nice for both of them.not. this was definitely a predisposition on the part of CB. maybe he knew something we didn’t at the time.

    man is it just me or does chris brown seriously need some braces? it has always perplexed me that celebs can afford anything, yet forgo some much needed orthopedic reparation. or, perhaps maybe this is evidence that rihanna also knocked him one in the face. i keed.

    oh yeah, rihanna has lost all credibility and respect in her unfortunate situation despite having the entire world’s sympathy by stupidly getting back with chris. this should be a lesson learned for us all. RIHANNA GROW A PAIR! Leave the scumbag once and for all.

  29. Randal

    Let’s hope he learns a lesson in jail and comes out as a renewed man. My prayers are with you Rihanna and Brown. – Randal

  30. Massa'

    There was a hilarious movie on cable last night, “Mississippi Burning”….man was that some funny shit. A true comedy classic. I wish they made more “feel good” movies like that nowadays. America must’ve been great when the porch monkeys were closely monitored and disciplined. After all those retarded civil rights pussies decided to give human rights to the apes and allow them to roam free, the country has turned to shit.

    Just look at every inner city of every urban setting in America. Every major city has been overrun and decimated by Jungle Bunnies, it’s a disgrace how we’ve allowed a single breed of farm animals to completely destroy our country. All because these animals have a few physical characteristics as humans. They’re still wild animals, and their population needs to be controlled, and the remainder need to be kept in zoo’s and used for medical/biological research so they can be somewhat useful. In fact, the only time in the history of the Earth that the Negro Ape has been organized and useful was when they were slaves.

  31. RichPort's Ghost

    #30 I like that the apes are allowed to run free, that gives me more of a shot at getting laid. I love black jizz all over my face.

  32. Deacon Jones

    @8

    Sarah, you’re THAT annoying women in the office that everybody jokes about stuffing their dicks in your mouth to shut you up.

    Caption for Picture:
    An incredulous Chris Brown, moments after realizing he shit his pants, cause he was wearing “people clothes”.

  33. Massa'

    You should never give money to the negro ape. Just because some of them can speak in somewhat ledgible grunts and shreiks, doesn’t mean they should have the same rights as humans. Parrots can speak as well, but they aren’t allowed to swing elections.

    The negro ape should be treated just like any other wild animal when it attacks humans, it should be put down. In this case, I don’t see why anything is coming of this, because it’s just wild animals attacking other wild animals, which is perfectly natural in herds of animals.

  34. Tom K

    LMAO @ #32……………..LOL! “People clothes”

    I’m so glad I sat this one out and let the pro’s do their thing!

    It’s funny I actually address black people as “people” in my posts meanwhile everyone else is addressing them as animals, n*ggers, sub-humans, and commenting on how Jennifer Hudson creamed herself when she got a bucket of”KFC” and saying their favorite family movie is “Mississippi Burning” and some people are worried about me??!! Ha-ha! Unbelievable well I guess I better just go balls out from now on instead of being politically correct!

  35. feckless

    I wonder if his Mumps will finally clear up. They have good medical care in prison.

  36. Still White on the Outside

    Maybe he’ll get “American History X’d” in prison by some neo nazi’s. They’ll have to hurry because his sentence will be reduced to 36 hours for emotional distress.

    Nah. His strong black brutha’s will come to his defense. See in their culture, “Smackin’ a ho” is quite popular and commonly accepted.

  37. me

    He’s got some serious monkey lips.

  38. Vanilla Gorilla

    Thanks for showing up trailer clan. Always happy to hear your highly educated discussion on blacks in America. Try not to plagiarize directly from the KKK propaganda material, it makes baby Jesus cry.

  39. NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

    “Let me talk to you
    Tell you how it is
    I was thinkin when I saw that body gotta get shawty
    Tell her what the young boy gon do
    Damn them chicks wit chu gotta be okay
    Babe pretty thick wit the kick that’s sick that need to be hit”

    Did you think you could..”Run It, Run IT”..?

    Haha!

    Time for Chris to “REAP WHAT HE HAS SOWN”.

  40. The National Geographic Channel

    “After mounting the female groid and engaging her in coitus, the male groid leaves the female to raise the niglets on her own.

    As the male groid perambuates away from the female, his knuckles gently grazing the ground with every step, he is careful not to abraid his precious knuckles on the pavement, because of their importance in the administration of “the mounting pounding” in which he demonstrates his dominance of the female groid by pummeling her face with his fists.

    He will search for more female groids to mount, and if his wandering should take him back to his own female niglets, he will mount them without hesitation after administering a strong sound “mounting pounding”.

    Evolution has given the female groid a sturdy head filled mostly with bone and only a tiny brain, so that she can survive repeated “mounting poundings”.”

  41. she’s awesome, I mean, at her age, she’s still attractive ____Wealthydater.com_____ go cr azy about her act!! she’s like kinda role model to many people there!!

  42. His skull is very oddly shaped. It looks like his cerebellum is about 1/2 the size of a normal human cerebellum. Normal sized face, tiny braincase.

  43. holz

    To massa…
    oh by the way that ape u keep talkin about they say man came from monkeys ya loser!!!!!…..So i guess that makes you a white ape who sounds like a complete idiot on hte internet!!!!! and you most likely don’t say your comments to there faces!!!!!!

  44. teddy

    DEFENDING BLACKS?? isn’t that what lawyers are there for?

    rich blacks like p. ditty, O.J, r.kelly etc. give jews more $$$$$$$$$$$$

    blacks and jews r so essential to one another ! they make the world go round

  45. @37 I didn’t know monkeys were packing like that in the lip area. Lucky for them.

  46. LOVEBROWN

    I LOVE CHRIS BROWN…LOVE THE WAY HE SINGS…LOVE THE WAY HE DANCES…AND HE IS HOT!

    Apparently the altercation wasnt that bad cause she went back to him…
    At the end of the day everyone gets what they deserve :)

  47. kate

    UHH last time i checked if your out on bail you cant leave the state!!!!!!! so y wasn’t his ass thrown in jail after very publicly being in florida?????

  48. kate

    UHH last time i checked if your out on bail you cant leave the state!!!!!!! so y wasn’t his ass thrown in jail after very publicly being in florida?????

  49. Just look at every inner city of every urban setting in America. Every major city has been overrun and decimated by Jungle Bunnies, it’s a disgrace how we’ve allowed a single breed of farm animals to completely destroy our country. All because these animals have a few physical characteristics as humans.

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