Chris Rock Won The BET Awards

The Superficial / June 30, 2014

I absolutely hate awards shows because the last thing celebrities need is more sunshine to the anus, so I treat each and every one with the same amount of disdain by blowing through them as quickly as possible. So here’s Chris Rock’s monologue at last night’s BET Awards which kicked off an evening of trashing the whole audience including Chris Brown. Which seems badass until you realize Chris Rock is a man, so there’s no way Chris Brown is touching him. Are you kidding me? That’d almost be a fair fight. Fuck that.

(Note to BET: I would’ve used your embed if it didn’t autoplay even after ripping out all the autoplay tags. I don’t need people stabbing me and with good reason.)

And for shits and giggles, here’s a link to Chris Rock asking white people at a monster truck rally about BET.

And if you paid close attention to his monologue, you probably saw Paris Hilton’s nipple (Apparently everyone forgot this happened.) which makes this photo all the more ridiculous:

Paris Hilton Nipple BET Awards

I know Getty basically advertised to celebrities that they Photoshop their pics to make them look better, but I don’t see how that applies here. Is the person next to Paris a celebrity who didn’t want to be seen with a nipple? Help me help you help me understand.

Photos: Getty