Chris Rock Won The BET Awards

June 30th, 2014 // 17 Comments
Chris Rock BET Awards

I absolutely hate awards shows because the last thing celebrities need is more sunshine to the anus, so I treat each and every one with the same amount of disdain by blowing through them as quickly as possible. So here’s Chris Rock‘s monologue at last night’s BET Awards which kicked off an evening of trashing the whole audience including Chris Brown. Which seems badass until you realize Chris Rock is a man, so there’s no way Chris Brown is touching him. Are you kidding me? That’d almost be a fair fight. Fuck that.

(Note to BET: I would’ve used your embed if it didn’t autoplay even after ripping out all the autoplay tags. I don’t need people stabbing me and with good reason.)

And for shits and giggles, here’s a link to Chris Rock asking white people at a monster truck rally about BET.

And if you paid close attention to his monologue, you probably saw Paris Hilton‘s nipple (Apparently everyone forgot this happened.) which makes this photo all the more ridiculous:

Paris Hilton Nipple BET Awards

I know Getty basically advertised to celebrities that they Photoshop their pics to make them look better, but I don’t see how that applies here. Is the person next to Paris a celebrity who didn’t want to be seen with a nipple? Help me help you help me understand.

Photos: Getty

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  1. JC

    Why are you writing about this when you could be talking about Pippa Middleton on the Today show? PIPPA!!1!!

  2. Spartacus

    Booooring

  3. …that’s the great thing about having F-U money (and status); it gives you balls …chris, ricky gervais (at the golden globes), and stephen colbert (at the white house correspondents dinner) are my heroes. (plus john oliver’s new HBO show “last week tonight” …talk about speaking truth to power!!! goddamn!!!)

  4. PassingTrue

    Yep, it’s all about “speaking truth to power” until somebody decides that your “truth” isn’t what they want to hear. All fun and games until somebody toggles a launch switch on a drone strike.

  5. ReverseRacist

    Where is the White Entertainment Television Awards?

  6. It’s called the Emmys.

  7. “content deleted”.
    Oh, well, I’ll just wait for the WET awards.
    Maybe we’ll get a precis of Rock’s comments on that show.

  8. ...you probably saw Paris Hilton‘s nipple

    Thanks alot Fish,
    now my monitor has herpes :(

  9. Paris is looking better with age.

  10. Lookup “How not to get your ass kicked by the pohleece” by Chris Rock.

  11. Irony

    so let me get this straight, the idiot who writes on this website and makes a living by gossiping about celebrities like a school girl, claims to hate awards shows because they give extra attention to celebrities?

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