Chris Hansen’s Coming Back, Everybody Off The Internet!

Crowdsourcing used to just be the home for start-ups that couldn’t get funding from traditional sources who failed to see the vision of a YouTube channel that’s just shot-for-shot GoT reenactments with sleepy kittens. But now, along with being the best way to support bigoted hatred, it’s also funding everything from charitable organizations to tech firms to celebrities who networks won’t put on television even knowing his schtick once earned them all of the money. Which brings us to Chris Hansen. Remember him? Got pedophiles to pack up Zima and condoms and drive to kids’ houses for sex? Got the network’s and undercover organization’s collective dicks sued off after organizing a SWAT raid on a prosecutor’s house, resulting in him committing suicide while they were outside, then subsequently tried to cover their asses by lying about the whole thing? Years later hilariously got caught cheating on his wife in undercover sting operation? Yep. That guy. Well, now he wants everyone to pay him to do that shit all over again. Via Gawker:

Tomorrow, Hansen will launch a Kickstarter campaign for a new series that is apparently not a joke: Hansen vs. Predator.

First of all, how was this not called Two Catch A Predator? Major missed opportunity. Second, how did his network pitches fail so badly, when all he had to do was show pictures from 2005 of dump trucks emptying cash onto NBC executive’s lawns? I’m going to assume it went like this:

HANSEN: This time we’re going for high profile stuff. We’re talking big fish.
NBC NEWS DIRECTOR: Sounds great. With all the flack we’ve been taking lately, we could really use a scoop around here.
HANSEN: Our pilot episode is actually a cold case. Well, almost forty of them, but with the same suspect. You probably won’t believe this, but he’s a famous comedian who starred in one of the most successful comedies of all time. He was drugging and raping women for decades and we’ve got evidence that his handlers were helping him cover it up the whole time!
NBC NEWS DIRECTOR: Yeah, I kind of thought that’s where that was headed. We’re done here. You’re free to leave. *presses intercom* He’s coming out. Get the big guy up front, the one who likes to kneel on their necks.

Photo: Getty

Tags: Chris Hansen