Captain America is Going Bald

And apparently getting ready for the Top Gun remake. “I’m here for the gay volleyball.”

For some reason Chris Evans felt that a month before his massive summer blockbuster premieres would be a great time to tell E!’s Marc Malkin he’s going bald just in case enough people didn’t think he was horribly miscast as Captain America:

“I have no problem saying this, but I’m losing my hair,” he said at the MTV Movie Awards.
Here’s the deal: Evans is signed up for three Captain America flicks and three Avengers movies. “The fear is this [role] can span 10 years so I can be doing this character until I’m 40,” he explained. “I’m supposed to be like this superior human. He can’t be balding…How horrible would it be if this superior man has male pattern baldness?”

While the immediate reaction is “Celebrities, they’re just like us,” keep in mind that male pattern baldness to the rich and famous is like the common cold to us normies. Just take a look at Jeremy Piven. In 1993, almost 20 years ago, he was balding to the point that he was cast as a fictionalized version of George Costanza on Seinfeld. Now he looks like a man with a slightly thinning head of luxurious hair because celebrities can fall off the face of the Earth for months and do nothing as their insanely priced transplant takes hold. We, on the other hand, get to drunkenly tell each other we’ll just shave it off “Bruce Willis-style” before sitting in the garage with the car running perhaps a little too long when we get home. “Oh, hey, honey, I was, uh, just listening to Journey. ‘Faithfully,’ woot!” *stealthily wipes away tear*

Photo: Getty, WENN