Chris Brown’s Helping Scott Disick Stay Sober

Chris Brown and Scott Disick are keeping each other sober now, because asshole squared apparently equals two perfect gentleman in the book of Hollywood dickbag math. Via TMZ:

We’re told the 2 have become fast friends and have bonded over water … and lots of it. Scott and Chris both insist that’s all they drank when they went clubbing together a few days back at 1OAK.

Remember when Dennis Rodman decided he was going to solve North Korea by becoming BFFs with Kim Jong-un? This is exactly like that only with a slightly higher chance of someone falling off the wagon and fucking a basketball.

“Koko…you been workin’ out so hard, you’re ass looks amaz– *barfs on fur coat*
“Damn, nigga! This is an unexpected event to which I must now react in my most natural way. *beats shit out of nearby woman, acts like victim for next decade*

Here’s Chris Brown’s Tupac/Warren G mashup featuring Scott Disick that’s as good a catalyst for a race riot as I’ve ever seen.

And here’s sober Chris Brown’s song “Liquor,” from his latest album Words, What Do They Mean?

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