Chris Brown Got Drunk And Made A Video About How Much He Loves Rihanna

October 5th, 2012 // 49 Comments
Chris Brown Video
WATCH: 'The Real Chris Brown'

Yesterday, Chris Brown felt the need to make a huge spectacle out of dumping his girlfriend Karrueche Tran so he can spend more time with Rihanna which prompted her to tweet the following last night:

Ain’t nobody bidness….. But mine and my baby!

Except these two are already off to a great start because Chris Brown read that as, “Don’t tell me my business, debbil woman!” and not even two hours later he tweeted the above video titled “The Real Chris Brown” where he spends a minute and a half drunkenly rambling in the backseat of a car about how much he loves both Rihanna and Karrueche. Even more ridiculous, he says he doesn’t want to hurt either one of them, but then doesn’t dive out the door into oncoming traffic which seems like the logical solution to that problem. That or mailing them both live grenades instead of taking them out to dinner. You gotta at least give them a chance at survival.

superficial

  1. “Lemme ax yall su’in…”

  2. FastFoodLocal151

    Aw, gee. Young (immature, brainless) love. Still, one can only hope for a Romeo and Juliet ending – Tarantino style.

  3. Annie

    Ughhhhhh this douchelord.

    Why can’t executing rappers become a thing again? They already killed the good ones, can someone take out the cartoons we have these days? Seriously. I cannot stand a single rapper.

    • Jack Ketch

      Eminem ? He’ OK !

    • dogg

      kill rappers is perfectly good thing to say for white folks.

      • Annie

        How do you even know I’m white, dipshit? Say that when you can see my face and the color of my skin. I’m not white. Rappers are uneducated thugs with tons of money derping around looking like fools with their gold chains. Nothing else. And not all people of color have to admire rappers. I like my role models to be positive images, not sad parodies sponsored by rich white racist dudes.

        Why do you think all the smart rappers got killed under suspicious circumstances and all we got left afterwards was flavor flave?

      • David

        What? Oh, so creating rap music immediately sentences someone to being inherently dumb and insignificant in your mind? An educated person is absolutely incapable of also being interested in rapping?
        Keep your narrow-minded stereotyping to yourself.

  4. USDA Prime McBeef

    “Ain’t nobody bidness….. But mine and my baby… and my twitter followers”

    • shoot me now

      sad thing is this moron can’t spell business but he has more money than everyone on this thread combined!

      • Jack Ketch

        I think Rhianna tweeted that, neither of them can spell, and both are morons, for the record. But we knew that. If she gets caught peeping his phone again, she will deserve what she gets … sorry.

  5. Cock Dr

    This post is for those who like to have a front row seat on a pair of douchebag celebrities mental illness.

  6. Seth Sully

    i hope your next beating will be as beautiful as your first!

  7. jamiewithanh

    the only realness I seen was chris brown’s overbite.

    • Annie

      Which means someone is his family tree probably fucked a cousin and a new branch was born. Overbite *sometimes* is the result of inbreeding…

  8. Deacon Jones

    I dont think anyone gives a shit about this missing link, Fish.

  9. Just a thought

    He’s a pathetic punk and she a desperate dipsh*t.

  10. El Jefe

    Seriously, you would think a moron like this would have been shot by another rapper, killed himself in a car wreck, overdosed, something by now.

  11. Why didn’t Drake finish him off when he had the chance?

  12. “Karrueche Tran” sounds like a fetish involving Thai ladyboys.

  13. Dr. Cocksider

    F*king Clown-of-spawn-movie teeths have this scumbag…

  14. Jumpman

    I can’t watch this whole thing…can someone just tell me at what time does David Hasselhoff crawl in eating a cheeseburger?

  15. Well, I am amazed that my post was not allowed. Apparently even this site is politically correct. We can say shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits. We can say white boy, cracker, polock, gringo and honkey. In fact we can say anything except the word that many black people call themselves. When the fuck did I wake up in a world so fucking stupid? When I tried to post the following (now fixed up for fucking assholes running this site) I got the following message: 1. Your comment is pending. It will appear to others when approved by an Admin
    1. Watch the beginning of the video. Amazing he can talk without putting his lips together. For some people, 400 years of attempting to speak English isn’t enough to get it right. Watch the end of the video, apparently according to his own words he is a “n-word”. So, apparently Gwyneth Paltrow can’t say n-word but only n-words can say n-word?! I suspect n-words aren’t only in Paris.

    • Those who wear their pants below their ass are also known as Saggin. From now on when I say Saggin, to me it means the word saggin, spelled in reverse, since this site is also part of the fuckin shit george Orwell wrote about. freedom of spech aparently is not for all people any more. Apparently ony Saggin can say any word they choose to. Other groups are limited. WTF and fuck you.

      • Oh, yeah, freedom of speech on a privately owned website. It’s right there in the Constitution: “The Superficial shall pass no law…abridging freedom of speech…” Sooooo Big Brother.

        But anyway, yeah, how come Chris Rock can do a routine and everybody finds it hilarious, but when I do the exact same routine, people file a complaint to H.R.?

    • Annie

      lolololol are you bitching because you cannot say the n-word? You’re one of those guys? Did you actually put yourself in a position in which you’re resenting Gwyneth Paltrow? Are you really actually saying “why can Gwyneth and not me”? LOL FOREVER. If this was offline you would never live this down. Dude wants to be Gwyneth Paltrow.

      Please, please say that word in a crowded place full of black people. I want you to attempt doing that. Please do it. Tonight that is friday night, please go do it in a bar and use it loudly, let’s see if you’re up for it. Until then, refrain yourself from whining over the injustice that it is not to be able to use a word that was created to humiliate a race, ON THE FUCKING INTERNET.

      • InkyBlack

        :)

        Fact is, it don’t mater what color or race Chris Brown is, he’s purebred asshole.

        Anyway, we all know his belly’s yellow.

      • Well, you stupid bitch, if you read what I said you’d see I wasn’t saying I resented Paltrow. In fact, she was lambasted (improperly by asses like you) for saying the N word. I never said that Paltrow could say it but I can’t. Your reading comprehension is below average. I guess those inner city gheto n-word schools just can’t get through your thicker than average skull. As for freedom of speech, yeah on a private entity there is no guarantee of same. BUT, I point out the hypocrosy of allowing any word other than the n word, although, the n word is allowed to be said on this site by an n word AND in addition honkey, etc is still allowed. THAT, you stupid cunt, is phoney and hypocritical. As for saying the n-word in public, in the context I said above, there is nothing wrong with that. As for saying the n-word around n-words, I have before. I was a Marine for 4 tears and if anyone hasn’t liked what i have said i have always told them to bring it on over.You say the word shouldn’t be said because it humiliates a race, well, fuck you because other words are humiliating on this site like honkey, cracker, polock, wetback, etc. they are allowed though you fucking idiot, even though they humiliate entire races. I guess in your -word world those words aren’t a problem though. Maybe you should bring your fucking mouth out inmy neighborhood and say some o them words and we’d see how long your black ass )or black loving ass) would last. Fuck you.

      • This reply was for Annie and for those that gave me thumbs down or my comments.

      • Annie

        They know the reply was for me, retard. Congratulations. No one on the internet agrees with you.

        Go back to watching Glee, admiring your hero Goop! :D

      • Actually, truth and facts are not related to popularity. Your statements to date (and those agreeing with you) indicate your ignorance of this wisdom. Your belief in popularity equalling factual or logical accuracy is reminiscent of the 5th grade. As for Glee, I have never watched it even once but I suspect you have since you even know the name of Goop. So, in summation, a bunch of thumbs up, especially in the micro-world of this site, does not disprove my earier factual statements concerning your being a runny piece of loser shit, you dumb fuck. The only thing I don’t know for sure is do you live in a single or is it a double wide trailer.

      • nunya

        Try spellig correctly. GHETTO, hypocrite.

      • Well, fuck you too. Why do dipshits like you think the big issue is one or two misspelled words instead of the entire point being made? For one, I know how to spell but am not the best typist in the world. But, since you brought it up, notice that you cannot spell correctly either. You misspelled spelling by typing “spellig”. You fucking dumshit. No one so far has debated what I have logically stated. Instead, they have said I should go out and get beaten up, or I can’t spell. I have been told I’m wrong because of the quantity of people that do not agree with me. You guys are major losers in this and likely most of your little pursuits. Either I am debating children or those not well educated. If you have any decent education, you are ignoring the fundamentals of logic. This would indicate that you are not a logical person but one whose life is ruled by childish emotion and group mentality. Don’t frt though, because I understand that you all are incapable of discourse on my level. You just can’t help it that you are lacking the tools. So while you are blowing each other, remember, I realize now who I am speaking down to.

      • Well, I just discovered that N*I*G*G*A is not the only questioned word on this site (unless spoken by woman beaters like Chris Brown on the videos on this site) They have issues with the word F*A*G also. How Politically correct can they get? Not only is most of Hollywood superficial but apparently they too who run this site.

  16. suck it

    Really? Can’t he just admit that his “relationship” with Karrueche was just a front? This whole shit is planned, him and Rihanna will be tweeting cryptic shit for a few weeks and people will be spotting them together and the pics will be all over TMZ. Just come out already and start dating publically. I’m so over this relationship drama with Chris and Rihanna.

  17. Annie, that was so true yet so hilarious

  18. “Even more ridiculous, he says he doesn’t want to hurt either one of them, but then doesn’t dive out the door into oncoming traffic which seems like the logical solution to that problem.”

    ^ Why I love this site. Fish, you are a seriously talented and funny writer. Thanks for so many laughs.

  19. Billy

    My grandpa used to tell me if you can punch a girl in the face and she comes back, marry her.

    • nunya

      YOU are the problem with today`s ocety tuck in the50s or earlier. oprobbly think he gray-haired beards on Duck Dynasty are for real. “She ain`t worth marryin` if she can`t cook bullfrog legs!”

  20. Larissa

    I care so much I had to smash my fist into her face. My mother just raised me that way.

  21. Bionic_Crouton

    This has all the makings of a Lifetime movie, only not as good.

  22. ACS999

    how charming. some ppl need to learn about self regulation. we are society of bread and circus…

  23. ben

    Chris Brown has the mentality of a 5 year old and has no clue what love is.

  24. Wendo

    Once a woman basher…always a a woman basher!

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