Here’s Chris Brown Partying With Some Rough Looking Strippers That Aren’t His Girlfriend

February 17th, 2012 // 58 Comments
Yo Momma's PISSED
Chris Brown
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And of course the white girl’s the one wiping her ass on the glass. We truly are the master race.

Here’s Chris Brown partying with what I can only assume were the only strippers he could get a hold of on short notice yesterday in Miami, but to really put these pics in perspective, let’s take a look at we learned about him this week:

1. He tries to pick up women by promising not to beat them. An approach that more than likely blew up in his face but only for horrible, horrible reasons that makes you think maybe one of these religions should bomb us all back to the stone age so humanity can start anew.

2. He snuck into Rihanna‘s birthday party and appears on her new single because what better way to boost sales than for her to gain back his audience that thinks she shouldn’t have called the cops just because he slammed her head repeatedly into a glass window, punched her until her mouth filled with blood before biting her and leaving her for dead, and he can gain back her audience that hates him for all that stuff I just said. “Young girls are learning abuse is okay? Who cares? MONEY FOR EVERYONE! WHEEE!” (Full Disclosure: I’m still going to look at Rihanna if she does more of that butt sex stuff.)

Coupled with these pics, does anyone of this sound like Chris Brown still has a girlfriend? Not counting that he’s gay. Then again, he could just be hanging with his boys that demanded a hotel room full of swamp strippers (So no one figures out they’re gay, too, of course.) which is why I added some R. Kelly below to help Chris navigate this delicate situation. Sure, I razz the kid about being a violent, pissy little bitch that should’ve gone to jail, but at the end of the day, I don’t want to see him get mad and kill anybody because he’s a violent, pissy little bitch that should’ve gone to jail. It’s a game we like to play.

NOTE: If there’s one thing in this world I believe in without a shadow of a doubt, it’s that this is how R. Kelly argues with women on the phone. Beats and everything.

Photos: Bauer-Griffin


  1. Jon Hex

    If Rihanna has forgiven Chris Brown, it’s probably because no one seems to care she got beaten to shit. I don’t know what it’s like to work in an industry so quick to defend your attacker, but I guess it’s like being told you don’t mean shit every day.

    • Rob

      What?! Rihanna got a lot of sympathy. Did you just hear of it? Chris brown disappeared for a year because of it. i’m not condoning anything Chris Brown does…albums included. but Rihanna is far more popular today because of it. She definitely needs to get counseling, though, if she is considering taking him back or being friends..whatever. I know your from America, where no one should get a second chance unless its yourself, but leave this alone already. You are wrong.

      • Jen Jen

        @Rob – Brown has had a million second chances given to him, and has failed all of them. He hasn’t demonstrated any credible contrition, hasn’t changed his aggressive persona, and still seems to blame others for his problems. So yes, in America, do that and you are still considered a dick. And your head is so far up his ass you apparently see thing through his eyes. You are wrong.

    • Brooke

      I assume the promise of money has something to do with this. At the end of the day, Rihanna is a fucking wackjob too for sending such mixed messages to her young fans. “Violence is not cool, unless he’s a handsome singer with adoring fans and lots of money. Then it’s just publicity.”

  2. John

    I’m just trying to get over the fact that it’s white strippers and not Bow Wow.

    • Floor it

      Clearly he isn’t gay, the woman showing her ass to the paprazzi is proof that he prefers women over men. Some people are bi from what I understand but this photo of a woman pointing her ass at the paparazzi cameras proves Chris Brown is not gay. Internet rumors you can retreat back to your caves. Chris Brown is not gay.

      • Schmidtler

        really? I’d say the first hand accounts of dudes that had gay sex with Chris Brown are better proof Chris Brown is gay and likes gay man on man gay sex than a picture of some fat broad standing fully clothed on the balcony of a hotel room he’s staying in.

      • I think he’s just using the strippers, including the white chick with the ass-on-glass, as decoys to lure unsuspecting guys up to his room.

        I think someone should plant Chris Brown and Kanye West in an enclosed, locked stadium, arm them with brass knuckles and nail files, and make them fight it out to the death. The loser gets cremated. The winner gets capital punishment.

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Hahahahaa Nice one, Floor it!

  3. cc

    I think I recognize that woman…I think I saw her on Cops…and Intervention…and Maurie Povich.

  4. JC

    Just bombing us back to the Stone Age isn’t far enough. We need to go back to at least being invertebrates before we try again.

  5. Cock Dr

    “to really put these pics in perspective”
    Change the “c” in “pics” to a “g”.

  6. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    it had to be said
    Commented on this photo:


  7. it had to be said

    And . . . Chris Brown proves again why strip clubs are so poorly lit. Ruff.

  8. Barfy Von Barfgasm


  9. Don’t skip the R. Kelly vid– it’s worth every minute!

  10. rantatonne

    Just because your glasses have the Gucci symbol doesn’t mean lasses’ll let you see they coochie, you must leave the sticker on then she’ll let you stick her.

    Favorite line from the alternate video R.Kelly made, ‘Real Talk : Advice to my Dogs.’

  11. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    This picture was taken right before he drop kicked her of the balconey for asking him to pass her a napkin

  12. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    ♪ Ass on the glass, ass on the glass,
    Lookin’ like a ho with your ass on the glass! ♫

    Tip of the hat
    to “General” Larry Platt

  13. the snowman

    ooooooh, please shut up.

  14. That’s the first time I’ve ever seen a canned ham without all that gross jelly all around it. No wait … There it is.

  15. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    “Bitch better not have landed on my car.”

  16. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    Let’s see that backflip now.

  17. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    Chest tattoos. The manliest of all tattoos.

  18. TheMonkeemobile

    Y’know what the great thing about hookers is,.. you can hit them and they don’t go blabbing to the press. (you just have to pay them a little extra)

  19. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    Kate Goslin???

  20. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    The guy in the background is telling Chris to stop looking for his manhood. He took if from chris last night several times from his ass.

  21. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    Coco is now fucking Chris Brown?

  22. Deacon Jones

    Having had some experience with blow…couple things I observe now having been there.

    Looking at the angle of the sun, it looks like mid-morning. And that girl’s face looks like she’s been partying all night. So naturally, they’ve been up snorting lines all night, and the night quickly turned into the day.

    Unfortunately for him, he hasn’t started doing his usual swinging and jumping routine and flung himslef off a balcony yet.

    • pornstar

      Deacon, we never really knew you… you never really know a man, until he starts writing about his coke habits.

  23. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    I wouldn’t have expected that knowing I’m pulling higher quality tail than Chris Brown would be so satisfying. But there it is.

  24. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    wow she looks pretty beat…

  25. Rob

    That big white ass on the balcony is worse press than the Rihanna evidence photos.

  26. oh i know

    “swamp strippers”…oh Fish, I love ya’!! :)

  27. Chris Brown, or more accurately, Chris Brown-bashing (pun intended), is this site’s lifeblood, apparently. I think the veracity of the old Hollywood adage, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, is either being ignored or misunderstood. He must be bringing in the hits in more ways than are obvious.

  28. disillusionisreal

    Sorry, only made it 2 minutes into the video and fully realize why I can’t stand this motherfucker….what a classy guy.

  29. KarlChilders08

    First thing I thought was “What is Christina Aguilera doing on Chris Brown’s balcony…

  30. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Prince Williams
    Commented on this photo:

    He’ll be bankrupt by Memorial Day. Years from now, people will ask, ‘Remember Chris Brown?’ And others will answer, ‘No?’

  31. CBrown-Hater

    Please girls, one of you push that useless, cock-sucking, loser Chris Brown over the edge so we can see pictures of his fucking head smashed all over the concrete! Please, please, please!

    Fuck You Chris (asshole) Brown!

  32. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    Are these people really all in the same hotel room together? Because if I had millions, the last thing I’d spend it on is sex with a member of the local PTA.

  33. Brooke

    It doesn’t look like they are on the same balcony. The angle is different and there is furniture in the stripper hog’s pic that’s missing in the Brown pics. But oh, I do want to believe this is the best he can find….

  34. V

    Jesus christ, the ass on the blonde one.

  35. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Reality Check
    Commented on this photo:

    What a talentless narcissist of a loser. Peoples brains must have fallen out of their a$$ to think this guy is anything other than a walking c0ck. Please disappear as soon as possible.

  36. BE

    Ice called. He wants to know when Coco will be home?

  37. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    girl dylan
    Commented on this photo:

    courtney love? is that you?

  38. elbruce

    Of course, he’s paying for ladies who can take a punch.

  39. Chris Brown Mystery Women Thong Balcony
    Commented on this photo:

    With the 9k gold and leg tattoo, she sure looks classy, I wonder if Chris could get it up, what with her not being a man or a K-Tranny….

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