Chris Brown Stole A Chick’s Phone So He Wouldn’t End Up On ‘No Website.’ It Didn’t Work.

February 23rd, 2012 // 127 Comments
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Karrueche Tran
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“I’mma do something retarded today.” – Chris Brown, each morning.

Chris Brown is a giant fucking idiot who does pretty much whatever he wants without fear of consequence, so what you’re about to read really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone. Via People:

Chris Brown faces new potential troubles with the law after allegedly snatching a woman’s iPhone as she tried to snap his
picture outside a Miami Beach nightclub.
Bitch, you ain’t going to put that on no website,” the singer, 22, angrily told the fan as he reached through his Bentley window around 4 a.m. Sunday and took the phone from her hands, according to a police report.

Circling back to that part where I said Chris Brown is a giant fucking idiot, his genius plan obviously backfired because now this story is on every single website, and it turns out he’s still on probation. So let’s get our good jerking hands out for the part where we all pretend Chris Brown will actually go to jail for this even though he basically got his butthole tongued by the court system after beating Rihanna into a parallel universe. TMZ reports:

If officials determine the allegations against Brown are true — that he “snatched” a cell phone from a woman in Florida — his probation could be revoked and he could be thrown in prison for 4 years.
As TMZ first reported, an arrest warrant has not been issued in Florida …at least not yet.

Of course, the real question here is what could this chick have possibly photographed that Chris Brown doesn’t want people seeing? If only we had some sort of clue. Some sort of hint that really takes this situation from behind and gives it that rough gay sex Chris Brown secretly likes. (I ran out of subtle bars.)

Photos: Bauer-Griffin, INFdaily, Splash News, WENN

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  1. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    Mia
    Commented on this photo:

    Do both girls have the same tattoo? Oh yeah, and

    ~~~Chris Brown beat Rihanna and had himself made a custom diamond “Oops” pendant to wear to show his complete, genuine remorse~~~

  2. CBrown-Hater

    Still a non-story a Chris Brown is a useless, cock-sucking, jackass. I wish he would get capped and then we would be rid of yet another useless punk.

  3. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    Bilvis
    Commented on this photo:

    Remember when Newman got in the jeep with that angry ass dinosaur in Jurassic Park?

  4. chris brown had an increditabel year jus jag off haters get a dam life

    • Carla

      Why don’t you show us how to jag off Chrissy Brown ? I’m sure you’re down for it and Missy Brown is hurting for some down-low. Cheers ;*

  5. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    Anon
    Commented on this photo:

    even seagulls hate him

  6. nicole

    so my question to everybody is why are ya’ll cting like he beat up your sister or mother???? ya’ll do not know what really happened in that car that night and if the bitch for gave then who are yall to still talk about it and a for him snacthing that girls phone i meean seriously he would have been better off breaking it then snaching it she is probbaly a groupie who wanted to leave with him and he said no and chris brown is gay?????????? please kill yourself who ever thinks such a thing,bottom line is he is making miney reguardless of what yall say so stop hating your not effecting him

  7. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    nick
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’M GOING TO CAVE YOUR FUCKING HEAD IN, BITCH!”

  8. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    Ugly ass

  9. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    mel
    Commented on this photo:

    nice fucking pants nitwit. fuck me! these rappers are mindless bags of water, blood and bones and nothing more.

  10. Brenda

    SanjaI love the black & brown combo. And yes, many people have told me that’s wrong, but what do they know ayawny? :) I’m also a fan of black and navy together, another taboo combination in opinion of many girls.

  11. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    I
    Commented on this photo:

    Karrueche has a hairy, wrinkly, fat body. She’s ugly as hell.

  12. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    I
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs to get pretty skin and a slim body fast… I can’t believe this bi*ch had the NERVE to diss Rihanna.

  13. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    woah
    Commented on this photo:

    wth. that ass is awesome

    beautiful woman

    perfection

  14. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, she’s not asian.

  15. Chris Brown Girlfriend Karrueche Tran Bikini
    Commented on this photo:

    This dude is hotter than Rihanna.

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