Chris Brown Is A Snitch

June 15th, 2012 // 56 Comments
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If I learned anything from The Wire it’s don’t be snitchin’ or Marlo will burn your house and foster mom down. (See, also: Turnin’ into zombies, Chris and Snoop.) I also learned don’t be shootin’ no grandmas in their Sunday crowns which, now that I think about it, is probably the more practical advice. Anyway, here’s Chris Brown demonstrating he has not seen the finest drama to ever air on television and is also a bitch. TMZ reports:

We’re told Chris’ lawyer, Mark Geragos, went to the NYPD late today to present evidence showing that Drake and Meek Mill were the aggressors, but earlier in the day Chris spoke with Detectives at an undisclosed location in NYC. Cops tell us Chris is not currently a suspect but rather “a witness and a victim.”

Dude, I’m so white I glow in the dark and even I know you never talk to the police. And now everyone knows the “independent witness” in this RadarOnline report saying “Drake started it” was you giving it up because Lance Reddick brought you some grape soda and a motherfuckin’ Snickers. What part of Randy ain’t got no moms no more didn’t you understand?

“Independent eyewitnesses have told detectives from the New York Police Department that Drake absolutely started the fight by throwing a bottle at Chris,” a source close to law enforcement tells RadarOnline.com. “It was intended to hit Chris and no other person. None of this would have happened if Drake hadn’t thrown the bottle. It was extremely loud in the club and there was a lot of yelling. Once Drake threw the bottle at Chris all hell broke loose. There is no evidence that Chris instigated the brawl, he only acted in self defense and he got out of the club as quickly as possible.”

You know, Chris, a wise man by the name of Omar once said, “How you expect to run with the wolves come night when you spend all day sparring with the puppies?” Best you think on that. Best you think on that hard.

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News

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  1. Colin

    You misspelled “Bitch” in the title, Fish.

  2. King Diamond

    Rata tat tat. Friggin stool pigeon!

  3. Cock Dr

    That’s 2 days in a row now that this douchebag’s ugly face has ruined the consumption of a delicious breakfast doughnut.
    Curses upon you douchebag Brown!

    • RacistPete

      I vote “Douchebag Brown” be his new name. And that Fish repeated it so prolifically that it gets adopted by all the blogs.

  4. Capitalist Pancake

    I think it’s time for a Wire marathon…

  5. RacistPete

    Much as I’d like to see him dead, it’d only lead to everyone spending the next ten years talking about how amazing his music was and how tragic it was that such a talented young man was taken from us so young.

    On the other hand, we could rush the hearse and roll the motherfucker.

  6. Smapdi

    See Chris run and snitch when the fight isn’t about him beating up a girl. Camera pulls back to reveal Chris Brown, little bitch.

  7. [img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/15/mortimer+snerd-269_320.jpg[/img]
    Mortimer say: GIT YUR OWN LOOK MUTHA FUCKA

  8. Chris Brown BAPE Shoe Store NYC
    Urvag
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh I delete photo. You no love me long time.

  9. Shasta

    I really hope a video of this event surfaces. I’ve always wanted to see Chris Brown crying like a bitch and hiding under a table. With all the stupid crap that gets recorded and put online, WHY can’t there be a video of this?

  10. rantatonne

    “Snitches get Stitches”
    It is known.

  11. MarkM

    I find it very hard to believe that such a douchey-looking guy is a douche.

  12. Brooke

    Holy fuck, Jethro, that is the blackest white trash I’ve ever seen. Women throw themselves at this guy knowing what he looks like? Have his teeth always looked this stupid?

  13. Good Christ, just look at him. The only question is if a chromosome is badly bent or missing entirely.

  14. Chris Brown BAPE Shoe Store NYC
    Pony1
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope Clipse catch him coming out the BAPE store and give him a clip round the ear.

  15. “Yo offica, you know I don’t be startin’ no fight with a dude. I only box bitches.”

  16. Beefalo

    STOP SNITCHIN

  17. Jack Ketch

    To steal a line from Dexter, “I cannot BELIEVE that out of 600 million sperm that THIS was the fastest swimmer. Enough with this piece of shit, piss-complected puddle of puke. It’s not even human. I only hope that if it ever goes to jail that it bends over to pick up the soap. Yeah, BABY !!!!!!

  18. Bianca

    How the Hell could anybody find that mug attractive? God, we women can be so stupid sometimes.

  19. You know there’s got to be at least two My Little Pony Tat’s in that mess.

  20. USDA Prime McBeef

    This asshole and Kanye should have a “smug-off” where both the winner and loser have their heads bashed in with baseball bats. I’m seriously getting turned on thinking about them convulsing as their brain stems are randomly firing as life slips away.

  21. jasper

    So sunflower seeds are the new bling?

  22. Chris Brown BAPE Shoe Store NYC
    dali
    Commented on this photo:

    I really wish someone would just shoot his ass already.

  23. Seriously. I love you.

  24. Chris Brown BAPE Shoe Store NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    Here’s hoping he joins Club 27.

  25. kimmykimkim

    He is a snitch and a scrotum.

  26. El Jefe

    i always knew he was a little bitch for beating up women, now he has proven that he is a bitch and a snitch.

  27. Blech

    Let’s see:

    Looks? Nope.
    Smarts? Nope.
    Talent? Nope.
    Money? Not for long.
    STDs? Sure.
    Hope? None.

    Yeah, I still don’t get the fascination with this douche.

  28. If it’s wrong to hope that this piece of shit chokes to death on a cock, I don’t want to be right.

  29. Diana

    Interesting. So wife beater boy aint afraid to hit a woman but when a man wants to throw down he fucking runs to the cops? HAHAHA ‘DO YOU FEEL LIKE A MAN WHEN YOU PUSH HER AROUND’ lyrics come to mind! What a fucking piece of shit

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    Beer Baron
    Commented on this photo:

    Ah-So!

  31. burp

    I hope drake gets charged for being an idiot and fighting over someone so stupid as rihanna

  32. STEVE BLAKE

    THANKS FOR SPOILING RANDY’S STORYLINE ASSHOLE! I’M LITERALLY GOING TO WATCH THAT EPISODE ON I-TUNES WHEN I GET IF WORK!…fuckin’ A….

  33. Chris Brown BAPE Shoe Store NYC
    Commented on this photo:

    Snitchin’ ass motherfucker.

  34. fuckityfuck

    enough with these assholes, they dont need or deserve the attention and hell with rihanna for fucking everything that walks and leading it on….when is anyone going to give a shit about the innocent people that got hurt like the chick from australia that needed 16 stitches because she just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?

  35. GhostofChrisBrown'spussy

    Yeah, it be all Drake’s fault, yo. Let’s not forget the Chris Brown posse member throwing gang signs who instigated the entire melee, okay? Brown, still on parole is specifically not to associate with known gang members lest he violate his parole for beating down his bitch. In other words, Chris Brown has a huge motive to lie about who started what, because if the po po don’t believe him, there is a chance he might be enjoying some ass raping unless he can blame someone else. Chris Brown has to stop crushing on Drake before someone really gets hurt.

  36. IzzyBee

    Isnt the guy in “The Wire” named Omar? Not Marlo? Or is it referencing someone else? Totally not a question regarding the post but just wonderin?

  37. zimbazumba

    I wish they’d beaten the shit out of him.

  38. Much as I’d like to see him dead, it’d only lead to everyone spending the next ten years talking about how amazing, http://bit.ly/P8SQmN

  39. lkl

    At the rate this kid is going, he’ll be dead before 30 years old.

  40. Pepper's Pot

    he looks like a vampire with Down’s Syndrome… wtf.

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