Chris Brown Snitches On Scott Disick To Kourtney Kardashian

Photo Boy | January 21, 2016 - 2:00 pm

When Chris Brown and Scott Disick announced they were going to be sober companions, everyone legitimately laughed at what a colossally bad idea it was to assign a piss baby and a mink douche to keep tabs on each other. It turns out the whole thing was Kourtney Kardashian’s idea, because the best thing she could come up with to keep Scott in line was to eventually have him be an accessory to murder? Seems legit. Via Hollywood Life:

“Every time he’s out with Scott he keeps a watchful eye on him and reports everything that they do back to Kourtney. She and Breezy have an arrangement. She allows Scott to be out and party with him with the guarantee that he doesn’t drink or hook up with any girls. If he breaks those rules, he can’t see the kids.”

I get what Kourtney’s doing here. At some point, Scott will be holding a bloody sneaker and just saying “She peeped… bitch shouldn’t have peeped…” over and over and then it’s only a matter of time before prison destroys his candy ass. But what does Chris get out of this? *rereads pull quote* Yep, there it is:

[Scott] doesn’t drink or hook up with any girls.

If Kourtney’s withholding sex, which she absolutely is, and Scott’s not allowed to bang any of the club slore he’s become accustomed to, are we supposed to believe he’s just going to go back to masturbating like us normals? Hell no. For rich people, there’s always a loophole. And nobody’s more familiar with loopholes than Chris “I Faked All Of My Apologies And Community Service” Brown. Pair that with his notorious Walnut Bandit Scandal, and I think you can all see where I’m going with this. *forgets most people don’t religiously follow every detail of Chris Brown’s life just hoping, praying for his demise* Butt sex. Butt sex is Scott Disick’s loophole for getting laid now. Butt sex with Chris Brown’s butt. (Should I have brought puppets?)

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