Chris Brown Might Be Addicted To Sizzurp
Not Pictured: Parenting.
The last three Chris Brown posts we did were about how women are getting attacked near him, he’s probably still hitting women himself, and he’s now legally half responsible for the life and well-being of a tiny women. And while that’s all terrifying since letting Chris Brown loose around women is like hiring Jared Fogle as a pediatric nurse, the nightmare’s only just begun because surprise! He’s probably a drug addict now, too. Via TMZ:
Chris’ friends and family are worried for several reasons. The problem has been getting worse over the last few weeks. They say he’s drinking sizzurp around Royalty and they’re worried he’ll lose custody.
He’s not going to lose custody for several reasons. 1. Money. 2. He tested positive for codeine and weed at his custody hearing by producing bullshit prescriptions for both, so there’s actually no question whether the violent Lord of the Douche Dance be sippin’ on that purple drank. But in case you’re on Team Breezy and still need convincing, some of the side effects of sizzurp include hallucinations, general confusion, and abnormal thinking. Do you think any of those sound like the characteristics of a guy who’s viciously beaten a woman in the past who then incorporates blood-splattered female faces into his artwork?
Nah, you’re right. I just be hatin’.