Chris Brown Just Called A District Attorney Racist For Giving Him Community Service

August 23rd, 2013 // 39 Comments
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Back in February, Chris Brown got caught faking his slap-on-the-wrist community service from beating the shit out of Rihanna which ended up costing the chief of the police in Richmond his job. By itself, this would’ve been enough to throw him in jail, but the DA also had a laundry list of other violations that would’ve effectively violated his probation. Instead, Chris Brown was given another chance to complete his community service for real this time because celebrity justice is the tits, but not tits enough for Chris Brown who just went off on Twitter and called the DA a racist for daring to give him the legal equivalent of “Okay, you can play video games, but for one hour, young man.”

Nigga done 6 months community service wit police and the DA racist ass crying to the judge that I didn’t do it. Fuck the SYSTEM!
How about y’all take care of all the homeless kids and families on skid row. Promote helping people that are really fucked up in your city!
Family first! The LAW…last
I paint pics of monsters because its a reflection of u bitchass niggas and this bitchass system!

In fairness, the DA reportedly feels terrible about this and has since sent Chris Brown his daughter to have sex with along with legal documents granting him diplomatic immunity. “I take my duties to this fair city seriously,” he said in a statement, “And first and foremost, those duties are puckering the legal system’s anus for celebrity cock. For the record, I initially thought Mr. Brown was Justin Bieber, and that kid’s Canadian so fuck him.”

Photos: Splash News

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  1. I’m confused at this part of his statement, “I paint pics of monsters because its a reflection of u bitchass niggas and this bitchass system!”

    Was he using paint by numbers?

  2. JC

    Yeah, if only someone was in a position to help families in need. Someone who made craptons of money for making forgettable pop music. Someone who has nothing better to do with his money than buy a Lamborghini and then paint it up to look like a complete douchemobile. Where could we find such a person?

    • Family first, law last right? Is that his pecking order on who to beat to death for putting the the drivers side seat too far back so he cant reach the pedals … baaaaad move Rhianna… little man syndrome is to blame,… hopefully you learn your lesson.

  3. Smapdi

    When is the public going to realize that anything that Chris Brown does wrong is not his fault?

  4. I hope this finally is enough to get his ass thrown in prison where he belongs. They really need to investigate the judges in LA for payoffs. I mean clearly they are being paid off, so legally they have to declare that money to the IRS as income and if they are not, then time to throw them in prison also.

  5. If the DA was really racist, he would have had sent him to jail, no?

  6. Could he die soon enough?
    I submit that he could not.

    • In a hypothetical scenario where he is lying half dead in a ditch with rabid weasels tearing at his flesh, I would say a slow death would be preferred. Even better if the weasels are racist.

  7. Piece of shit. That is all.

  8. Mr Lionel

    Who cares about this guy…why keep adding time to his 15 mins?

  9. Deacon Jones

    I think they’re trying to keep him out of jail as much as possible because they, and we, all know he’s gay and would he would be taking a sweaty dick up his ass…hardly a punishment for Chris Brown

  10. Goose

    Everything is racist, you racists.

  11. “No Chris, you can’t claim time spent punching Rihanna in the face as ‘community service’…I mean it IS, but you can’t claim it”

  12. I seriously which someone would murder him.

    • Whoops. I meant “wish”. Maybe “murder” is a harsh choice of word. Maybe someone could just prevent him from speaking, typing, or communicating with the rest of society, in general.

  13. Napoleon Bonaparte

    Any you guys think I have issues!

  14. In Chris Brown’s defense the D.A. in Los Angeles likely doesn’t encounter many African-American criminal suspects and may not even be aware of his own racist tendencies.

    I might hate leprechauns, ya know? Dunno. Never saw one before.

  15. I worked in the system and I cant think of a time when the word “racist” wasn’t coming out of some idiots mouth as the cuff went on. It’s the default evasion of personal responsibility for many people. But we live in a world where Oprah sees poor customer service as racism.

  16. anonymous

    Doesn’t Chris Brown know being racist is the new black?

  17. At least they didn’t cane him in Public like the guy a few years back that spray painted a car! Maybe he would like that system better!

  18. The D.A. is a black woman!

  19. Jade

    Kinda funny how he uses the word “nigga” and calls someone racist in the same statement.

    I’m getting tired of that word, and I am getting tired of the double-standard about who can use it.

  20. anonym

    Rich black people should be banned from crying racism.

    Oprah, Chris Brown…..

    Black people overuse the racism cop-out.

  21. They should make him hand out juice boxes at some podunk county’s spelling bee.

  22. Jenn

    Shit, I forgot I was supposed to be thinking negative thoughts about this little douchetard so he’d seize and ultimately die. I’ll get back on that right away.

  23. Caroline

    Breezy my ass.

  24. Bob

    Ironically, if he was a poor white boy instead of a celebrity, his ass would have been thrown in jail a long time ago.

  25. Rihanna Butt Bikini Raft
    Commented on this photo:

    BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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