Chris Brown Is Into Stalking Now (RUN, GIRL!)
“Hey, Chris, what’s wrong, buddy?”
“I had these cars for hours and I haven’t even punched a single bitch in them yet!”
“Aww, let’s get you a snack…”
To fulfill our pledge to never stop warning women about placing their vaginas near Chris Brown, I bring you this latest piece of evidence for my case. It’s an already deleted Instagram video where Chris, in so many words, describes how he’s an absolute psycho if you ever try to break up with him. But thankfully, the internet is an infinitely self-replicating turd factory, so some fake Chris Brown page still has it up. Technology, cuz!
And just in case that gets deleted, here’s the transcription from Page Six who are apparently my brothers-in-arms in Operation Breezy Cock Block:
“Ladies, y’all be complaining about n—as being, like, stalkers and in love with y’all, kinda crazy and s–t and you get tired of them. Well, guess what? I’m one of them n—as! If I love you, bitch, ain’t nobody gonna have you. I’m gonna make you miserable. I’m gonna chase that n—a out. I’m gonna chase your ass around.”
I believe that’s called straight from of the horse’s mouth. Except it won’t matter at all to Team Breezy who probably think Chris Brown just sent them a Valentine’s card. “He said he’s gonna make my life hell?! SWOON.”
And, goddammit, that’s depressing. I’m gonna go now.