Chris Brown Just Ruined Green Man

November 1st, 2011 // 86 Comments

Chris Brown almost wore this Green Man costume for Halloween last night, but decided against it only after posting a photo of it to Twitter with the following message so everyone would look at his penis:

I don’t think I can wear this costume tonight! Gonna change!

I don’t want to say Green Man has been forever ruined because It’s Always Sunny is a survivor, but I’m pretty sure Chris Brown and the Sharpie he duct-taped to his crotch took a once-proud costume and beat it’s face into a car door before biting it about the face and neck because he only picks fights he can win like a walnut bandit. (See: Windows, chairs through.) Call it a hunch.

h/t ONTD

Photos: Twitter, Splash News

superficial

  1. cc

    It’s probably not even Chris Brown. Everyone knows wifebeaters have small penises.

  2. Clarence Beeks

    I’d like to beat him over the head with that roll of quarters he shoved in that costume.

  3. Can

    Is that Mac’s tranny?

  4. there is no way that is his penis. he looks all lumpy like he is wearing clothes under the costume and if he is wearing clothes then there is no way that is his penis… either way WTF man!?

    • Drew

      It’s pretty obvious that he’s not wearing pants considering you can see the definition of his knees. And assuming he was wearing pants, or shorts… they never have zippers or buttons or anything, right?

      Derp.

  5. Noel

    looks like a microphone. “testes, testes…is this thing on?”

  6. Jade

    Eugh, he just ruined Morphsuits for everyone…

  7. Chris Brown Green Man Costume
    Pip pip cheery-o
    Commented on this photo:

    Ska-douche!

  8. Richard McBeef

    why are his calves/ankles about an inch or so in diameter? Foghorn Leghorn looking chicken shit legs.

    Also the dick is fake.

  9. Truk

    Giving urself a chubby then trying to pass it off as soft is pretty desperate. Did his last album not sell well?

  10. Rooster

    we need to see the back to tell if that’s really chris brown. the back should have some fresh blood spots around the ass area, which would explain the boner he’s still pulling from the reach around.

  11. TheTruthTeller

    And every single one of you WISHES you were him. LOL!

    • Rooster

      I beat women and fuck dudes up the ass on the side (no homo though).

      Chris Brown wants to be me.

    • Clarence Beeks

      riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

    • Would i like to have the pussy he has available to him? Yes I would. Would I like to be a woman beating man child with absolutely no positive guidance in my life? No I would not.

      I think we could say the same for most men.

      • TheTruthTeller

        Whatever you think of him, it still beats being a hypocritical judgmental internet troll who has nothing going on in life besides commenting on the lives of others, in the hopes that insulting them will make one feel better about oneself. Good luck with that. LMFAO!

  12. daisy

    oh man there is a great blunt card for that.. here it is http://bluntcard.com/launch/867.php

  13. Mr Obvious

    As if we needed more proof that he took it up the ass.

  14. chicken legs, bgawwwk!

  15. LMAO.
    He is SUCH an idiot. There’s nothing more to be said.

  16. anonymoose

    This is desperate and pathetic if it is him.
    This is desperate and pathetic if it isn’t him.
    Not cool.

  17. Willie Dixon

    Let’s see why I would want to wish to be Chris Brown: Beats up women, denies gay sex, has a hissy fit when people don’t see things his way, has zero accounyability for his actions unless caught by law enforcement, and thinks doing a meager community service and anger management for disfiguring a girl is “time served”…on second thought, I’ll pass.

    • Clarence Beeks

      I want to be Chris Brown as much as I want to be Lindsay Lohan or the Human Urinal Kim K.

    • TheTruthTeller

      Being him beats being a judgmental prick with no life accomplishments who sits on blogs typing negativity about successful people in the attempt to make him/herself feel better about his/her own failures at life. So yea…you all WISH you could be him. LMFAO!

      • Venom

        I will bet you money that every single person on here at 60 will have way more money than Chris Brown will at 60. Hell in 10 years from now most everyone on here will have more money than Chris Brown will.

        It is not how you start, but how you finish.

        He dances around a stage like a monkey and has to sing with the aid of Autotune, if that is what you look up to as success then so be it, to each his own.

      • lolz

        @truthteller He’s an uneducated monkey, takes it up the ass and beats women. Who would want to be him? He’s not powerful, has no influence, he couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery.

      • TheTruthTeller

        @Venom Maybe if you all had something better to do that sit on the web all day attacking celebrities who are actually accomplishing something with their lives you’d have some money by 60. But going this rate. I doubt it. He dances on stage like a pop star, and because of that has captured the attention of millions. Including yours. Deep down you’re just jealous you can’t do it. It’s sad.

        @lolz He’s an uneducated monkey…but you’re uneducated enough to think that an old outdated epithet like monkey is a potent insult? LOL! Poor thing. Who would want to be him. I’m sure his life is heaps better than yours. He’s not powerful. Forbes and many celebrity news sources would beg to differ. He has no influence. MTV and VH1 would say something to the contrary. Poor thing. Just admit your own defeated life. You can still make something better happen. Take care.

      • lolz

        I dunno why I’m feeding the sad little troll but uneducated, moi? I have a PhD, of course you cant check on that. “potent insult”, not an insult just a simple fact, Chris Brown takes it up the ass and is a little brown monkey.

        You need to realise what the word ‘powerful’ means. “celebrity news”, “vh1″, “mtv”, even forbes, it’s fodder for the masses, that isn’t power or influence. Chris brown is a ‘man’ who sings and dances for a living, takes it up the ass and beats women. You have no conception of the real world, stay home little boy.

      • TheTruthTeller

        @lolz

        You’re not the one feeding the troll. I am. You are the troll, and I’m feeding you intelligence in the hope that you can find something better to do with your life beside sit on the internet and spew hate anonymously toward people who have accomplished more than you ever will. Does spouting all this negativity and hate make you feel better about your own place in life. Does it make you feel like a big man or woman? How tragic. You have a PhD? Can you provide proof. Darling, everyone has a PhD on the internet. When hiding behind an anonymous screenname with no picture and no identity you can make up anything you want to. The closest you’ve probably gotten to a PhD is looking at the framed copy at your doctor’s office. IF you had a PhD, you would be intelligent enough to come up with something better that what you’re presenting. It is NOT a fact that Chris Brown “takes it up the ass”. That is a rumor. One which has been discounted multiple times, including by the liars who invented it. It is not a “fact” that Chris Brown is a little brown monkey. He is clearly of the homo sapiens species, and is defined scientifically as a human being. Furthermore, had you any intelligence, you would know that calling black people monkeys as a racist retort is about as outdated as a vinyl album. In addition, had you any intelligence, you would know that calling anyone a monkey is barely an insult, since science has expressed through the theory of evolution, that we ALL evolved from “monkeys”, regardless of race or gender.

        I realize what the word powerful means. Vh1 & MTV are indeed exceptional markers of what “celebrity power” is. Since he is a musical celebrity, then power in his sense would be marked by the major corporate measurements of his field, of which Vh1 & MTV are great markers. He is very powerful. And are you honestly trying to preach to me that you are an intelligent person, if you think “Forbes” is fodder for the masses. You poor thing: the “masses” barely even read Forbes, and Forbes is respected as a standard in measuring the power of individuals whether musical, entertainment-based, political, corporate, or otherwise. Chris Brown is a man who is one of the most successful singers and actors in the world today. He is indeed powerful: he takes a picture of himself in an alient suit…and it becomes the biggest news on the internet for at least three days. Sites all over the web are covering this. That’s power. Which is why YOU are sitting on the internet, hiding behind a screenname, talking about him in a post dedicated to him…while nobody knows your name and nobody speaks of you. You have conception of the real world. P.S. I’m not a boy, I’m a girl. Further expression of lack of perception.

  18. Venom

    This totally seems like something a straight guy would do.
    I see he hired Costumes by Zachary Quinto.

  19. Cock Dr

    This puts me in the mood for some target practice.
    Give it a 30 second head start across a big field. Then we’ll see if it’s green on the inside too.

  20. DeucePickle

    You could always ask Rihanna’s ass if this pic is accurate.

  21. Oregon

    I thought the Blue Men were blue? I could be color blind, but he looks like a giant green M & M to me.

  22. Dionne

    Why are yall hating because CB is packing! You Jealous?!

    • Yeah, he’s packing – and about as impressive as my nephew’s brown bag sack full of Lunchables. Yup, we’re all soooo jealous of birdy legs and a desperate attempt to pass a semi-jacked up cock as a parade rest piece. But mostly we’re jealous because we all secretly wanna be anatomical Gumby, dammit. That’s the real reason.

      • TheTruthTeller

        Again, let’s see a picture of you. You people on the internet blow my mind hiding behind your anonymous screen names with no pictures up, while you judge celebrities who are internationally known for their looks. I’m sure if we saw a picture of you, you are superbly inferior to him in every way physically. I’m sure your body is nowhere near as fit as his, and I’m sure you WISH you could have his “semi-jacked up cock”. If you were anywhere near him, you wouldn’t be sitting on the internet talking foolishness about him and others. You people are so bitter. It’s just a vinegar parade around here more like it lol.

    • Sue

      Packing what? Looks like he stuffed a Oscar Meyer weiner in his suit. Oscar Meyer weenie.

  23. Steelerchick

    Maybe if he left the french cucumber out of the costume it would look better.

  24. Chris Brown Green Man Costume
    LAME
    Commented on this photo:

    Wonder which one of his boyfriends took the picture?

  25. Matcher

    That’s obviously the blackjack he carries around to beat women with. Fucking useless fucktard.

  26. “Chris!! I’m making the salad, have you seen where the cucumber went?”

    “Shut up mom!!! I”m putting on my costume! GOL-EE!!”

  27. Marie

    Just what I thought: he has no balls!

  28. ScelestusUnus

    Chris Brown fell in love with Green Man once he saw the episode where Charlie kept hitting Dee in the face with the dodgeball.

  29. Sheppy

    Taking a photo in a suit like this with a semi then publishing it is poor form IMO.
    1. Dude, we can all see you’re trying to make it look bigger
    2. Totally inappropriate.
    3. And just plain disgusting.

  30. I’m sure Green Man isn’t the only man Chris Brown has ruined in his heyday.

  31. lolz

    This wife-beating, gay monkey should be the one in seals monkey suit, doubt people could tell the difference!

  32. Anon

    I hear Chris Brown likes to eat fish dicks with Kanye.

  33. Willie Dixon

    LOL @ Truthteller. I’d rather have zero life accomplishments (which I actually have quite a few considering who you are advocating for), than being let off for beating women and all the other stuff I mentioned being consider accomplishments. His song was was using in that wedding video – which the people donated advertising money to abused women’s shelters…other than that, he’s got nothing.

    Now go back to whatever Yahoo! group you came from and tell Chris “hi” the next time he hands you a paycheck for your weak sauce damage control. At this rate you’ll have to give him extra head or spread your cheeks (more) to keep your job.

    • :P

      Don’t feed the trolls! From experience on these types of sites, I have found that only someone sad enough to come to the defense of a celebrity actually likes said celebrity enough to be jealous of them. Somehow accusing others of being “jealous haterz!!!1!!1!” is the only way to feel better about wanting to be someone you are not. The funniest part is, Chris Brown wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire, and yet people defend him… why? Same goes for Kim K, Lindsey, etc….

    • TheTruthTeller

      Oh darling spare me. Chris Brown has sold millions of albums, won dozens of awards, and is an international musical presence. You are nothing but a troll on the internet who is clearly bitter, defeated, angry, and full of hate. Your ONLY recourse to make yourself feel better is to type half-hearted vitriol in the hopes that e-beating a target who is far above your pay-grade and life experience will make you feel better. Do you feel better yet? At the end of the day he’s still a successful multimillionaire. And you’re a better troll on the internet taking negatively about him. Nothing is accomplished. Pitiful.

  34. You know how I know you’re gay? You worked up a boner in the bathroom, then took a picture of yourself in spandex. That’s how I know.

  35. Chris_Brown-Hater

    Hey everybody there’s a Cocksucker in a green condom, oh yeah he’s got a sock rolled up in the suit. Hey Chris! Fuck Off and DIE you useless fucking piece of SHIT!

  36. Better

    Wife-beater? WomEn beater? All false. You guys are hating because of Chris’ package size. Stop it!! You talking about not wanting to be Chris because he beat up a woman but you guys are not exactly perfect. You have so much hate. I’m not even gona defend Chris. You guys need to pray for real. Learn to forgive. Stop investing so much on hate and on trying to bring some1 down because you will not gain anything from it.

    • It’s really comforting to know that if I kneecap your illiterate ass in an alley and beat the everloving shit out of you, I can get off by claiming I’m “not exactly perfect”. I know the judge will be just as forgiving of my silly little failings as you, because I’ll certainly pray for real in court. I feel so much better now.

      • TheTruthTeller

        Perhaps you need to take some time educating yourself on the process. He didn’t get off with anything. He turned himself in. He was charged with a felony. He continues to do hundreds of hours of community service. He has apologized multiple times in multiple formats, and has apologized to Rihanna who has also forgiven him. And he has apologized to judgmental pricks like you who seem to think you are so perfect, when if people could see your life, the things you are probably worse than anything he did. Be careful on that high horse, before you fall.

  37. Arzach

    I don’t think he has to worry about his penis, is the lack of balls that should be worrying him

  38. Chris Brown Green Man Costume
    The Brown Streak
    Commented on this photo:

    There must be water under that table.

  39. Sue

    Nothing special about it. Where are balls? His chicken legs are distracting me more than his skinny wanker. Gross thin little man.

    • TheTruthTeller

      Let’s see a picture of you LOL! I’m sure you are so gorgeous while you judge how he looks LOL!

  40. forrest gump

    a dildo was hidden in his pants.
    IT LOOKS LIKE “HEAVY FUELL” NOW.

  41. Dr Ha-Ha

    Is there a reverse shot, so we can gauge the size of what his b/f is packing via the size of the butt hole for rear entry?

  42. Antifratdude

    Sounds like “Truth Teller” is Chris’ mom, defending that piece of shit woman beater. Once a girl peeps your gay love messages on your celly and you beat her, your gig is up. Fuck that asshole harder than his DL lover did! Nobody with standards, a penis, or a non-herpetic vagina has ever respected Chris Brown. In spanish, he’s a pinche joto.

    • TheTruthTeller

      Try learning English, try learning some class, and then try this again. You’re full of lies, rumor, and ignorance and it’s obvious.

  43. ?

    Why is he smuggling olives with his smoked sausage?

  44. Chris Brown Green Man Costume
    Hooper
    Commented on this photo:

    Ha. Douche.

  45. Allison Wunderlan

    One word: TUCK!

  46. Mama Pinkus

    you just know he whacked it in a frenzy just prior to taking this pic

  47. Dan

    How gay is this really.

    Seriously Chris. NO ONE CARES if you are gay.

    Just be gay.

  48. gigi

    is it me or does Chris Brown look like the WB Frog? [especially in pic # 9] give that man a top hat, can & tails!

  49. Chris Brown Green Man Costume
    obz
    Commented on this photo:

    call that a penis douchbag, are you actually black cause the penis dont match

  50. GIrl

    Whoever that is…. that schlong would do it for me

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