Stop me if you’ve heard this one before: Chris Brown couldn’t control his temper so he committed felony assault. Although, that’s not entirely fair because this time he actually ended up in jail where he’s still sitting as of this post awaiting a bail hearing. TMZ reports:
The alleged victim tells TMZ … he and a friend were hanging out at the W when they saw 2 women about to take a picture with Brown. The victim — who says he’s not a Chris Brown fan — says he and his buddy photo bombed the 2 women and Chris went nuts, punching him in the face and BREAKING HIS NOSE. He went to the hospital and says he may need surgery as early as tomorrow.
Law enforcement sources and the alleged victim tell TMZ … before striking the man, Chris said, “I’m not into this gay s**t, I’m into boxing.” After Chris punched the man, the fight was taken to the ground.
What’s odd is I’m pretty sure Chris Brown is into gay shit, but then again, maybe he meant boxing his penis into another man’s butt. Which is nothing to be ashamed about and is a perfectly healthy and natural experience for a young man like Chris to have. So maybe try this next time instead of felony assault because you’re too much of a bitch to be honest about your sexuality:
“Excuse me, sir, would you like to engage in anal intercourse?”
“I would not.”
“Very well then. Let us shake hands and go about our business.”
See? No one got arrested, and you’re free to spend your evening finding another ass to tunnel into. Now snatch this pebble from my hand, grasshopper. Without crying this time.