Chris Brown Started Fights With His Own Bodyguard And A Valet, Is Different Now, You Guys

March 7th, 2013 // 35 Comments
Chris Brown Valet Fight
WATCH: Chris Brown Fights With Valet Over $10 Charge
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Let’s do this chronologically. Yesterday morning, Chris Brown got on a private plane where he reportedly got in a fight with his own bodyguard and left him in Bermuda, according to E! News. A series of events I didn’t even get a chance to say proves this kid’s a violent shit show who will eventually murder Rihanna before he got in another fight over a valet charging him $10 at a bowling alley. TMZ reports:

It all went down at PINZ bowling alley in Studio City … where CB had been attending a charity event with his posse.
But when Chris went to get his car from the valet, the guy working the parking lot asked for the $10 charge … and Chris got PISSED.
After the valet made it clear he couldn’t release the car without the cash … the singer and his posse surrounded the guy … and at one point you can hear Chris say, “F*ck ten dollars.”
Sources at the scene tell us Brown was angry because he was only at the event for 30 minutes and felt like he was getting ripped off by the valet.
As tensions grew, someone in Chris’ posse can be heard saying. “We got the money … don’t worry about it.”
But Chris DID worry about it … and in a threatening manner, told the valet, “We gonna turn this whole thing on out.”

Keep in mind, Chris Brown is filthy rich and $10 is a fart in the wind to him, yet he was still willing to physically assault a man and face jail time over it. So just imagine how he’d react to, oh I dunno, say riding in a car with a baby that won’t stop crying, Rihanna. Yes, I’m talking to you, Rihanna. This path leads to death.

Video: TMZ


  1. I think it’s just an objective truth that he is a terrible person. We’ve all realized this… but I think it’s odd that he used to be an adorable kid and now he looks like a tattooed sloth with a gross underbite.

  2. Eve

    Rihanna is so busy trying to rebel with a bad boy and show her t-n-a whenever possible that she’s oblivious to how shallow and stupid she comes across. I hope she gets the big picture before it’s too late and CB is arrested for murder this time.

  3. stratacat

    good. he better kill rihanna before labor day or I lose my office celebrity death pool.

  4. Dude, 10 whole dollars? You can’t expect a millionaire to pay $10? What is this Soviet Russia?

  5. I was waiting for this. Knew you’d come through Fish. FUCK CHRIS BROWN RIGHT IN THE FACE!!

  6. What Would Ike Do?

  7. Cue the Team Breezy twats who will defend him in 3…….2……….1………

  8. Time to throw this stupid monkey in prison where he belongs, enough is enough.

    • Good to see the Tea Party keeping busy between elections. Sure you didn’t want to throw in “spear chucker” while you’re at it?

      • It’s too bad that the easily offended and butthurt have taken away our ability to refer to a black person as a monkey.

        The simple fact of the matter is some people, whether they be white, black, hispanic, asian, etc etc etc, look like goddamn monkeys.

        Chelsea Handler, GWB, etc etc. These people look like monkeys. make comparisons on the internet.

        I fucking challenge anyone to look at a picture of Patrick Ewing and tell me that fucker doesn’t look like a gorilla. He does. Nothing to do with skin color or evolutionary history. He just looks like a damn monkey.

      • I should note that I am not defending El Jefe’s commentary.

        I should also note that I use the term monkey, when ape is more appropriate terminology.

      • I know the march of time has made everything worse. Used to be able to call em “darkies” without anyone calling you on it. Now they tell me we have to treat everyone like real people, even when they aren’t white men. What’s the world coming to?

      • Most americans wander around their panties in a loose knot, so in a moment’s notice they can pull the ends and be offended.

        Since the racism of yesteryear is largely dead, people grasp on to shit like N-bombs and monkey calling so they still be offended like it’s releasing the dogs on civil rights protestors.

      • Fuck you Phil, first of all you don’t even know what race I am and it is pretty well known on here I am a Democrat. Chris Brown looks and behaves like a monkey and I will continue to refer to him as such. He is an illiterate woman beating asshole that walks around and behaves like a a monkey. Justin Bieber behaves in the same way, like a little monkey. I would never refer to them as apes, they do not have the stature, power or nobility of an ape.

        Kanye for example is a prima donna asshole, but I would not call him a monkey. He still for the most part behaves like a human being.

      • And we’ve made it all the way into Maury territory. “Whatevah! You don’t know me” followed by your rationalizations as to why when you do it, it’s not based in old-timey ignorance. Don’t forget to trot out the well-worn “words only have power because we let them.”

        The worst part is I’m actually engaging you. Where the fuck did my life go wrong?

      • I am confused, Jack Ketch in one of the first comments above called him a sloth and you did not seem to have a problem with that. So calling him one kind of animal offends you (personally I think defending Chris Brown is ultra pathetic, but whatever), but calling him another kind of animal does not? At least a monkey is fast and not considered lazy and slow.

      • Although I appreciate the use of red herrings, this isn’t me defending Chris Brown, which was obvious. Don’t be dense. Don’t be a pussy. You know what you wrote, so own it. Stop being a little beta male bitch.

        You and McBeef can keep your circle jerk going and talk about “everyone is too easily offended.” That tends to be the crap folks spew when they speak offensively and someone calls them on it. Be sure to tell me how many black friends you have that are OK with the way you talk. That will show me. Enjoy getting in the last word.

      • Well, if Brown ever actually ends up behind bars we will know if he’s a monkey or not based on whether or nor he throws his feces through the bars.

      • Calling someone pussy is highly offensive. It infers that the female sex is weak. I would use gender neutral insults next time.

      • OOOoooohhhh Jefe, he called you a little beta male bitch. I’m pretty sure that was a reference to being a small statured monkey who wants to be the big man on campus but acts more like a female. Pot, kettle…..

  9. What an asshole.

  10. This scumbag is just a worthless thug without a shred of talent.

  11. Too bad somebody didn’t take advantage of the missing bodyguard and light CB up with a savage beating.

  12. karlito


  13. adr765

    Did anyone watch last week’s Law and Order SVU? It WAS about CB and Rhianna. And how did it end? She was dead!

  14. LA Juice (@alajuice)

    Its meat wallets like Beat Down Brown that make me forget I am AGAINST legalizing concealed weapon rights, and anti-gun rights in general.
    But I hold strong to my stance on abortion. If only Momma Beatdown shared my political views.

  15. anonym

    that cover photo is the true face of a douchebag.

    Even if I didn’t know who he is, I’d want to punch his face to a bloody pulp

  16. anonym

    I would have keyed his car, or at least stomped on the hood to “get away” from chris and his backup posse.

  17. Dick Wolf

    I wonder if he really is a bad-ass, or is he different with his paid posse isn’t around?

  18. tlmck

    I read a headline elsewhere that said “Chris Brown Blew Up”. Wishful thinking on my part.

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