Chris Brown (Allegedly) Faked His Community Service, Is A F*cking Idiot

February 5th, 2013 // 41 Comments
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Earlier in the day we found these awesome shots of Rihanna posing for Terry Richardson, and now comes word that Chris Brown is probably going to jail because he and his mom allegedly faked the living shit out of his community service for beating Rihanna, so we really couldn’t have put these pics to a better use than this post. (I kid. I tiled every room in my house with them.) TMZ reports:

According to legal docs obtained by TMZ … the Richmond P.D. admits they only supervised Brown on 9 or 10 occasions and on all other dates he was not supervised by anyone.
And get this … the detective who had been assigned to oversee Brown’s community service was told she did not have to continue monitoring at the Children’s Center. The times, location and types of duty were provided by Chris Brown’s mother.
The D.A. claims Chris and the Chief of Police had a prior relationship.
And there’s more. According to the docs, Chris’ lawyer, Mark Geragos, “instructed” the lawyer for the Richmond P.D. on how to “handle” D.A. investigators’ questions about Chris’ community service.
And Geragos told the probation officer there was a court order that Chris’ community service be removed from the probation department and given to the police chief. Fact is … there was no such court order.

On top of that, the janitor was coached to lie and say Chris Brown waxed the floors, but instead told investigators the truth. And even better, Chris and his mom listed dates when he was out of the country doing concerts because he dances just like Michael Jackson so why wouldn’t people believe him? Naturally the D.A. is moving to revoke Chris’s probation and apparently already had a laundry list of violations before this mess:

– The Frank Ocean fight at the recording studio
– Brown testing positive for pot
– Failing to obtain a travel permit
– Allegedly grabbing and throwing a fan’s phone in Miami
– Throwing a chair through a window at “Good Morning America”

So remember a week ago when Rihanna admitted to Rolling Stone she’s back with Chris Brown because he’s different now and he won’t have the luxury of fucking up again? This (on top of Frank Ocean) is the exact definition of “fucking up.” so for the love of God, RUN, BITCH! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Photos: Terry’s Diary


  1. Mario Starr

    I’d like to poop on this filth bag’s chest and then punch her like Chris Brown did.

  2. Dick Hell

    A woman to look this good and be a total moron? Who knew?

    • Her father was abusive – why do you think he’s so crazy about the idea of them getting married? Kids tend to perpetuate patterns they grew up with. If you grow up thinking it’s normal for daddy to punch mommy when he’s having a bad day, and mommy’s role is to blame herself and make excuses for daddy, that’s probably the kind of relationship you’ll end up with.

  3. You mean Chris Brown (Mr. I will never take responsibility for anything I do because I’m just like Jesus) and his mom (Mrs. my son can do no wrong because I let men beat be too!) faked the only thing that showed that he MIGHT have done one iota of anything good to make up for an awful crime?!? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!!! I am shocked, SHOCKED!! Fuck him and his stupid useless mother. Fuck them both right in the face.

    • Uh, the point here is that neither one of them consider that what he did was “an awful crime”. Every black man in Hollywood from Terence Howard to Mykelti Williamson made “it’s just life” excuses for him, every record producer chalked it up to his being “young”, all his “Team Breezy” idiot female fans wanted the privilege of being hit, and even Rihanna’s father thought he was still a stand up guy. The vote was in – what he did was really NBD, it was just the white judicial system that insisted on totally and unfairly victimizing him for something that, after all, she made him do. So, a little falsehood here, calling in a little favor there, and voila, the floors are done by someone who isn’t a celebrity, and no one’s the wiser.

      Because really, that’s what put-upon hard-ab Jesus would have done – after all, he had a lot of leper-curing and sermon tours to make and couldn’t be held up by white adminsitrative shit. Especially if it was that bitch Mary’s fault in the first place for insisting on peeping his phone.

      • Hahaha thank you for elaborating on what really happened. It makes me so furious. I got to “Fuck them in the face” and just had to stop or my head was going to explode.

      • Your head felt like it was going to explode because you actually have a brain in there!

        Really, it’s the same sort of double-standard-blinded-by-celebrity crap that lets Lindsay Lohan keep stealing and being a lame no-show for court appearances without any sanctions. This enabling idiocy also allowed O.J. to phone in his court-mandated therapy for battering Nicole Simpson without anyone batting an eye. What disgusts me is the side order of misogyny that all his apologists and supporters have so casually served up, as well as an utter contempt for any consequences that result from abusing women.

        They don’t take it seriously – and they won’t, not until Brown pulls a Phil Spector or an O.J. on Rihanna or some other woman. And even then, the enablers will still make excuses for him.

    • Your username is hilarious.

  4. “Chris and the Chief of Police had a prior relationship.”

    I’m not so good on the gay lingo but this means they fuck pretty regularly, right?

    • IQ Moron

      Don’t presume. He may just asked the sheriff to use his baton as a strap-on while tasering his balls gently because, damn it, the man is a romantic but wouldn’t cheat on Rihanna.

  5. Good, I hope they finally send this asshole to jail. They need to send him mom and Geragos to jail also.

  6. EricLR

    The police chief needs to be in jail right beside him. Two jailhouse bitches for the price of one.

  7. BSName

    Thank you Chris Brown. I derive loads of entertainment watching idiots like you piss away undeserving opportunities like this. Here is some advice; go kick the living crap out of that guy that stole your parking space; Whenever Rihanna doesn’t listen to you, feel free to slap her around until she listens. I will continue to watch you piss away your undeserving riches and fame. Its only a matter of time before your life will be little more than an orange jump suit. I will only laugh.

  8. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    its so nice to see her smiling and looking like the pretty girl she is. you almost can’t see how broken she is inside.

  9. She needs to bend over like that to hide the big fuck off tattoo all over her chest!

  10. Hey, Virginia law people, just because Chris was arrested in L.A. doesn’t mean you have to act like California law people!

  11. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    You can peep my phone any day.

  12. Frank Burns

    Brown should have known better than to use Beyonce’s lawyer.

  13. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    How the hell do I get Terry Richardson’s job without doing heroin, growing a mustache, and becoming a complete hipster douchebag? Is there any middle ground? Because I don’t know about you, but I would love to get paid to take pictures of the hottest women on the planet (and probably finger bang one or two of em).

  14. Jade

    Too bad Rihanna is too dumb to be embarrassed by SissyChrissy.

    Thug life, right?

    That’s some serious hardcore thugginess.. skipping out on community service. SissyChrissy is HARD!

  15. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    such a hood rat.

  16. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m not very good with Roman numerals.

    Which Super Bowl is she commemorating on her shoulder?

  17. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    Keep it classy, ho.

  18. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    That’s a really hot scar on her upper lip. I wonder what the story behind that is?

  19. Quidam

    I’ll never understand how the Chris Brown’s of the world can look at the Rihanna’s of the world and think, ‘yeah, I should literally HIT THAT and not just _hit that_.’

  20. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    She should have use this scar treatment

  21. FINALLY, Chris will be getting the kind of backdoor loving he desperately craves.

  22. Here’s a bad joke: The first time Chris Brown saw Rihanna in person, what did he say?

    “Oh ya, I’d definitely hit that!”


    Anyway, Chris has never been held accountable for any of his actions. He’ll get a pass on the probation violation, and being criticized will just make his fans (and Rihanna) adore him all the more.

  23. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    It’s amazing what you can do with Photoshop.

  24. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Edvard Munch
    Commented on this photo:

    I know why I don’t find her attractive now. Too much eyelid. I’m serious.

  25. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    the crazy betty
    Commented on this photo:

    his photographs are not that great. aren’t these the same poses he did with lindsay hohan

  26. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    Why isn’t the Pedo bear with 80s glasses and 70s beard in the picture as usual?

  27. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, people told Nicole she shouldn’t marry O. J., but that turned out okay, I’m sure things will turn out great for Rihanna and Chris too.

  28. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    satan My Master
    Commented on this photo:

    Ice-T’s stunt double.

  29. Rihanna Cleavage Terry Richardson Rolling Stone
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to ravage her butthole.

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