Tom Bergeron is Afraid of Chris Brown

March 29th, 2011 // 29 Comments

Even after smashing his dressing room window in a fit of rage, ABC is continuing to milk Chris Brown for all he’s worth by allowing him to still perform on tonight’s Dancing With The Stars which host Tom Bergeron isn’t entirely thrilled about. E! News reports:

When Seacrest mentioned that there had been a bit of controversy surrounding Brown’s appearance, Bergeron—at first, anyway—tried to toe the party line.
“Has there? Really? I didn’t hear anything,” the coy-playing host said. “Of course, my windows are soundproof.”
“Here’s the thing,” he went on, when asked if he would have the chance to interview the anger-mismanaging artist. “I did say to the producers that it might be to their advantage to not have me interview him, because my natural tendency would be to say something.
“You know? So don’t put me in a position where you’re asking me to not say something, ’cause I won’t really do that. Even if it’s just a snarky little aside, you know, ‘How was your week?’”

To put things in perspective, Tom Bergeron, the most bland, middle of the road, non-offensive comic working today, is afraid even he might set Chris Brown off. And he’s right. He could say something as hackneyed as calling Chris “dawg” only to watch steam shoot out of his ears before running across stage and pummeling Kirstie Alley‘s stomach for five consecutive hours. Like that scene in Jackass when Bam Margera bursts into the bathroom and pummels the shit out of his dad on the can, but with less erotic undertones.

Photos: Fame


  1. i’d like to see chris brown try to plant one on kirstey alley, he’d lose his arm between the tires

    • The Critical Crassness

      He probably wouldn’t get the chance because she would just fall down on his punk ass burying him in a mountain of Jenny Craig failure!

  2. sarah

    Is Buzz Lightyear his spirit creature? Makes sense. To insanity and beyond my brotha!

  3. I guess I will watch the Dancing with the stars tonight. Lets see if this kids knocks the shit out of anybody. Then I will jack off to the insanely hot female pro dancers that dance on the show.

  4. katz

    It’s Dennis Rodman all over again.

    • Crabby Old Guy

      Nope – Rodman had skills and could mix it up with the big boys. He would have planted this twerp in the seats – head first. Actually, that’s something on ABC-TV that I might watch.

  5. LIberal

    Chris Brown is ABC’s answer to Charlie Sheen. Bread from heaven.

  6. KC

    If Chris Brown punches Kirstie Alley in the face his fist is going to stick like Brer Rabbit and the Tar Baby.

  7. adolf hitler

    buzz lightyear is from a kids movie. that makes me think chris brown is cute and defenseless. i like him again.

  8. Clarence Beeks

    I like Tom Bergeron. Fuck Chris Brown, he is a fucking violent thug.

  9. Aggie

    Nice to see at least one person at ABC isn’t down on their knees for this asshole.

  10. Jock McCrock

    Am I the only one who sees the lameness of Buzz Lightyear-themed jewellery on a grown man?

  11. freebie

    He beat a woman and threw a chair through a window. Yeah – he’s tough. Sounds more like a bully that needs to be pushed back. Then watch him cry.

  12. Your Gynecologist

    To obscurity… and beyond!

  13. Chris Brown’s necklace matches his impulse control–they both make a grown man look like an a-hole.

  14. Virgodoll

    Wat does he use? Industrial strength Bleach?

  15. Jenacide

    Ralph Macchio should beat the shit out of Chris Brown.

  16. Fight! FIGHT! Kick his ass, Tom!

  17. ABC should give Bergeron a taser and let him use his discretion.

  18. Rick Junior

    Why is Cisco so mad? I think his hair dye is releasing toxins into his cerebellum.

  19. Who’sTom Berengeron… Borenberg… ah fuggidit.

  20. somelady

    and I thought we would never have to see Sisqo again…..

  21. Is he getting whiter?

  22. cockules

    I say go for it Bergeron not to worry Jericho is there to lay the beat down on a punk like Chris Brown.

  23. jayjay

    you all talk about how chris is so childish and immature. have you actually sat back and read this sorry ass jokes that sound as if a three year old made them up. get out here. you all sound stupid and i bet half of your parents if not you are klan members. and i bet you all are over the age of 30 talking about chris need to grow up. dwts should be saying thank you for giving us our best ratings ever. oh you all are just mad because YOU couldn’t do anything to stop him from performing and feel defeated. to bad witches.

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