Chris Brown Just Sued Himself For Child Support

Last week, we learned that Chris Brown is a dad because it’s a universal rule that people who should’ve definitely never had children have children. Except apparently we weren’t supposed to know about any of that, so now Chris Brown’s taking himself to court for child support because it’s literally cheaper than paying his baby mama hush money. TMZ reports:

Our sources say Chris is forking out substantially more than he’d be required to pay if a judge ordered formal child support. There’s a scale on how much a parent pays, based largely on income. We’re told Chris upped that amount and in return demanded that she keep her lips sealed.
We know Chris now believes Nia has been leaking stories and talking about their relationship. As a result, our sources say his lawyers are now preparing legal docs, in which he will ask a judge for an order requiring him to pay child support.

And here’s the amazing part: Chris Brown didn’t put a woman in the hospital for not doing what he wanted which is probably a typo. I’ll make some calls.

Photo: Splash News