Chris Brown Broke a Window? Says Who?

March 23rd, 2011 // 29 Comments

“Alright, everyone say, ‘Bitch, get out the car fo’ I kill you! CHEEEESSEEE.’”

After storming off set and smashing a window following his pre-approved Good Morning America interview, Chris Brown spent the rest of the day changing his outfit more times than a 14-year-old girl, and posing for fans as if the whole thing was just a dream. Which it’s basically be treated as. Not only is ABC not pressing charges, thus putting Chris in jail for violating his probation, but they’re still committed to having him on Dancing With the Stars AND want him back on GMA. On top of that, Hollywood Life reports the entire situation doesn’t even matter because his fans never actually saw the outburst and are retarded teenagers who will buy anything is how I read this:

Celebrity publicist and founder of Garis PR & Media Group R. J. Garis agrees with Sands and believes Chris will profit from the added exposure.
“I think in the end, this incident will actually help his album sales,” he tells us. “His fan base is already well aware of his personality and his history. In fact, all the media and Internet attention on this story today just provides more promotion for the fact that the album just dropped. It’s like getting a million times more free mentions and plugs about the new album than he would have gotten with just a regular GMA promo appearance.”

If anyone walked into a store yesterday and went, “One album by the woman-beater who just threw a hissy fit when asked pre-screened questions about his actions, please,” we are so irretrievably fucked as a nation that it’s amazing we can conduct even the most basic of tasks needed to sustain a functional society. No, really, at this point, I’m honestly expecting people to just start forgetting how to drive and/or perform simple transactions. “So you want me to give you ‘money paper’ in exchange for that food in your hand? — How about I lay this leather pouch full of it on the counter and you explain to me how to eat because I just forgot? The yum-yum goes in my ear, right?”

NOTE: Added one of those Taiwanese CGI videos because it’s quite magical and not just because of the shockingly naive racism.

Photos: Splash News

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  1. Ed

    Lady Gaga’s gonna start breaking window’s too now.

  2. bob

    He’s looking more white with each passing day!

  3. I’m not sure the network HAS to press charges for a parole violation, this could still be interesting.

    oh and…best…video…ever!

  4. Well it shows his therapy is working, he’s only breaking windows now, not women’s faces!!!

  5. Smiley

    Somebody throw this piece of shit under a bus already.

  6. josh

    Why shouldn’t they buy his album? If you like music it shouldn’t matter who makes it. Steve Jobs is cunty and exports his manufacturing to third world countries where they work 16-hour shifts, but everyone loves their macs and iphones.

    • bob

      Good point except Jobs isn’t a POS Woman beater as far as we know.

      • josh

        True, Brown is a first degree cunt, Jobs is third.

        Sent from my iPhone.

      • Mandi

        Hahahhahahahhaaha “who cares if people suffer in third world countries?” is how I read Bob’s comment. What an idiot. I might buy CB’s album because I like his music and I’m gonna watch his videos because he is an insane dancer. I haven’t forgotten how to eat or drive or walk. Chris Brown beating women is an issue for the next woman he dates. Since that wont be me, I’ll still jam in the club and not feel bad. You can’t make me!

  7. Chris Brown
    JJ Michaels
    Commented on this photo:

    The most important question that hasn’t been asked here: What kind of phone is he using. It looks like a Samsung Focus with a cheezy case. Has anyone asked Chris if he’s gotten the NoDo update yet? That would make it easier to copy and paste his twitter rants.

  8. Rapping M.C. Hitler

    I agree ! And forget all that holocaust shit, go out and buy my new cd – ‘Hitler Raps!~

    • Jessesgirl

      It’s all the fault of stupid ass interviewers who keep bringing up Hilter’s past. They should just STFU he’s just there to talk about his album. Just give him a second chance, yo. John Galliano is over that holocaust shit so you should be too.

  9. Autographs or commemorative black eyes, ladies, what will it be?

  10. adolf hitler

    OHHHH!!

    ching chong, ling long, ting tong…

    OHHHH!

  11. Colin

    I wish the chair had flown out the window and killed Paris Hilton. She’d be dead, and he’d actually face consequences. Two birds, one stone.

  12. Hollywood Big Shot

    Homo says “What” !

  13. Chicago_animal

    @MarkM
    Go down to the city and go upstairs in a building. Throw a chair through a window and see what happens. Dumbass.

  14. Kill it with fire

    OMG,..look at the profile of that woman next to him,…
    What’s her name Lisa Australopithecus?

    Dear lord look at that skull!

    Are there two kids running around having wacky adventures with her because they thawed her out of some giant ice block and now she wants see Chris Brown because he beats his women just like her ex-caveman boyfriend did?

  15. Exec-types using the term “dropped”.

    FUCKYOUGAGBARFTOOLBAGS.

  16. kory

    get the fuck over it!! chris is past the bullshit and ready for his album… let the man move on. btw, ur one of the few blogs that actually gives a shit

  17. me2also

    Keep it up w these posts about CB, Fish. You make so much sense it’s comical and sad but true about our society.

  18. Chris Brown
    Commented on this photo:

    look over there if you’re an asshole

  19. john travolta

    DANCING WITH THE SCARS

  20. Dan

    He is not even “Winning”. Chuck will make more in one short tour spewing torpedo’s of truth than this guy who is so “focused”. Hey Chris type you’re name into a search engine you tard an address the images that come up.

  21. Chris Brown
    McHooper
    Commented on this photo:

    This guy is a douchebag and so is anyone who waste
    their time with him or his derivative dreck albums.

    • Thedy

      Express yourself the way you want. If it hurts noone then Im all for it. Im not a fan of it but if that is how he feel then go on with ya bad self. Whenever a black man step out the box, they get clonewd. Broaden your horizons. People calling him sisqo but lets be real when sisqo was out, chicks was on him left and right and probably got more a$$ than a toilet seat (old school yeah I know). Funny they always like to clown people and refer them to someone thats not on top anymore. That goes for alot of artist Mc Hammer, Vanilla Ice and all of them. They all paved the way for alot of artist out now. Yall got me off topic, ANYWHO I say Chris do you and express yourself however you feel. Step out the box of the norm, you might like it

  22. nice hair

    This is all media lies. Chris is engaged in a process, the coming-out-of-the-closet process. The stress of the appearance got him riled up and one of the GMA closets was damaged. You people are all media vultures and homophobes. Leave Chris Brown alone.

  23. Chris Brown
    Wassa
    Commented on this photo:

    02.11.11 at 8:18 amBacklashcan we let this nigga live now damn ..shid is old news, if rihanna’s over it why df are her fans and peploe in general..still mad about it ? obviously chris didn’t get into a lot of trouble because rihanna refused to press charges.

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