Chris Brown’s Baby Mama Was Married When He Knocked Her Up

In probably the least surprising news to come out of this story, Chris Brown’s baby mama Nia Gonzalez was married when she let him fire a lottery ticket into her uterus. Which should’ve been the kid’s name, but Royalty works, too. Same message. Radar reports:

“It ain’t going to take a rocket science to figure that out. I got a divorce because Nia got pregnant by someone else,” Terry Amey told Radar.
Divorce documents obtained by Radar reveal that the Ameys married in January 2003, and “ceased to live together as husband and wife on or about January 2014.”
The divorce documents claimed that Nia was “pregnant at the time of filing” but Terry denied paternity and requested a DNA test. She gave birth to her child by Brown that summer.

In the meantime, TMZ reports that Chris Brown had been trying to get Karrueche Tran pregnant for years, but she wasn’t having it unless he put a ring on it because clearly she has a death wish. Karrueche Tran wants to die. There’s no other way to read this:

Sources close to the couple tell TMZ … Chris and Karrueche had the baby talk frequently for at least the last 2 years — and she was down to have a tiny CB … IF he would make her an honest woman.
We’re told KT feels strongly about marriage before kids, and stood her ground with Chris. Although he stepped up with a couple of diamonds last Christmas — he couldn’t close the deal … since they weren’t engagement rings.

So what was Chris Brown’s plan by knocking up this other chick? Just showing up at home one day with a baby going, “Look what I found! Can I keep it?” because, I’m not going to lie, that would probably be the smartest thing he’s ever done in his whole life. I’d literally stand up and clap.

Nia Gonzalez Nude

Why couldn’t I just show the buttcrack on the homepage? We’re a nation founded by Puritans. What do you want from me?

Photo: Via MediaTakeOut