Chet Haze Is Getting Tom Hanks Sued Now

“Yo, I pray you keep this nigga safe in his hoodie, yo.”
“That’s not how this works. That’s not how any of this works.”

When we last left Chet Hanx aka The Cheaz, he was humiliating his parents with idiotic political rants on Instagram (which have been deleted), and shortly before that, he was humiliating his parents by confessing his cocaine addiction to a shocked world who never would have believed that Tom Hanks’ son who looks like a bank intern but talks and acts like the offspring of Eminem and Corky from Life Goes On was blowing his dad’s money up his nose this whole time. Anyway, he’s still not done fucking up Tom Hanks’ otherwise perfect life, because now some guy The Cheaz rear-ended is suing Tom and Rita for not aborting him when they had the chance. What? If that’s not a law, it should be. Via TMZ:

According to a new lawsuit filed against the celebs … Chet rear-ended a guy named Terry Moogan in February 2015, while driving Tom and Rita’s Chevy. Moogan accuses Chet of driving recklessly and being “under the influence of drugs and or alcohol at the time.” Moogan says Chet’s parents should be responsible since they negligently handed him the keys.

So, no, no they shouldn’t be responsible at all, and fuck Terry Moogan and his bullshit lawsuit, but at what point does Tom Hanks just snap and drown The Cheaz a bathtub? It’s not like the cops would suspect foul play.

“Whadd’ya think Sarge?”
“Pretty obvious, ain’t it? These people ain’t exactly known to be strong swimmers, if you catch m’drift.”

(I have no idea what these accents are supposed to be either, but I haven’t really slept in a month, so you can all fuck off.)

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