Cheryl Cole’s Accent Frightens and Confuses Us

May 26th, 2011 // 53 Comments

Despite appearing at the FOX Upfronts, Cheryl Cole was unceremoniously dropped from the American version of X Factor yesterday and replaced by Nicole Scherzinger of the Pussycat Dolls. While no official reason was given, it’s being hinted that her British accent was too thick which, of course, is a cover up for how big of a drunk Paula Abdul is. TMZ reports:

Cheryl Cole was dropped from the judging panel on “X-Factor” largely because producers were concerned her English accent would be too difficult for an American audience to understand … sources close to the production tell TMZ.
There were other issues too — we’re told Cheryl and fellow judge Paula Abdul had a “lack of chemistry” … and Cheryl was more expendable.

CHERYL: Does she have to bleeding drink at every rehearsal?
PAULA: *calls 911* Help! HELP! I’m being accosted!
SIMON: Wonderful. Now I have to fire the one who didn’t see me murder babies for their T-shirts. Cheryl, love, a minute?

How that happened.

Photo: Splash News


  1. Cock Dr

    Why do I have to look at that dumb “festooned with metallic plated potatoes” belt again?
    It’s because of the boobs hovering up above it for sure.

  2. RoboZombie

    Good Lord! All the blood just rushed from my head!

  3. Something else is going on here. Sure, she has a Geordie accent which is not English as such, but early reports all said everyone could understand her. And she has boobs and is hot which is the universal language. Maybe it’s another publicity stunt? Whatever it is, it’s naff all to do with the accent.

    • Mumbles

      It’s not that the Geordie accent isn’t English, it’s just it sounds like the person speaking is on an old analogue radio that’s being tuned in haphazardly.

    • bi chick

      It’s not a common accent for Americans to hear, but it’s not all that difficult to understand and in Cheyl’s case it’s certainly not difficult to look at!

    • private part

      I learned a new term: “naff all!” And I agree. Those prats buggered the whole thing up.

  4. Jimmy

    I can think of two good reasons to keep her.

  5. Matt

    Between Saffron Burrows being canned from “The Finder” and Cheryl Cole from “X Factor,” it appears there is an xenophobic Fox programming exec who thinks the entire U.S. is composed of bigoted jerks, just like him.

  6. she’s already on x-factor uk with cowell, bfd if she can’t do x-factor us.
    cor blimey tho, her knockers look splendid for store-bought

  7. jessie

    god shes gorgeous :o nuff ‘ said

  8. Venom

    That sucks, I was really looking forward to seeing her as a judge.

    • Jimmy

      Don’t worry. They’re replacing her with a member of a different shitty manufactured all slutty girl pop group. Same minimal claim to celebrity. Same fake (but nice) boobs. The only thing really changing is the nationality.

      • DrRic

        Don’t think the boobs are fake.

        They used to be a LOT bigger a few years ago – fake ones don’t shrink much when the person loses weight. And they aren’t exactly hovering under her chin like fake ones do.


      • Jock McCrock

        the boobs are fake – and a weird shape, almost breadloafing. Wouldn’t be showing them off if they were mine.

  9. God is Black

    If I rub my penis on those two golden pears ,will I get my wish? Thank You Lord!

  10. Deacon Jones

    I could care fucking less, lol.

  11. Well, she does have those juicy gams.

  12. Nate

    She could be from Wisconsin and the majority of America wouldn’t be able to understand her. Americans are just stupid in general.

  13. chev70

    She has zero talent, herself, and is difficult to understand for people who are not British.
    Cowell is a fool for thinking that this would end any other way.

  14. adolf hitler

    i cant. but ill keep her anyway because of those boobs.

  15. Does anyone really care what comes out of her mouth? I mean, it’s not like you go for a girl like that for the stimulating conversation. She could speak the Latin bible backwards, and most viewer still wouldn’t notice.

  16. fx

    Her accents seem fine to me and I have no problem understanding them. They say motorboat us brah

  17. Grace

    Her breasts look simply amazing

  18. linzie

    I am british but I can’t understand her

  19. Morgan

    English is my 2nd language, and I can understand her.
    Americans can’t even watch a movie with subtitles because they’re fucking stupid.

    “goddamn foreigners with their stupid languages and subtitles, if i wanted to read i’d pick up a book, let’s git outtahere jeremy.”

    Enjoy your imperial measurement system.

    • Cookie

      Jeremy? Is that a quintessential redneck name? I would have gone for something along the lines of Jaden, Kyler, Ryder, Cletus, Travis or Ricky Jr.

    • Jeremy? Seriously? You fail at stereotypes.
      And for the record, my gf is not American and she can’t understand any British accent when we watch movies. I constantly have to translate for her.
      So your theory sucks the big one.
      And wtf do subtitles have to do with British accents anyway?

  20. cc

    Seldom has a dress provided such glorious access to such delightful breasts.

  21. the captain

    not me, I’M BACK, folks, HALLELUJAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. Jon

    Wanna know how I know this site is gay? The so freaking hot section has Lohan, the Situation and Gaga in it, and this hot stuff is nowhere to be seen.

  23. For straight guys like me, the hot section has Selena Gomez, Bar Refaeli, and Julianne Hough. So it evens out.

  24. Cheryl Cole Removed From X Factor Accent
    Commented on this photo:


  25. Cheryl Cole Removed From X Factor Accent
    Commented on this photo:

    The way she looks,she could speak to me in Klingon if she wanted to.

  26. Cheryl Cole Removed From X Factor Accent
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, Simon! Why don’t you keep Cheryl, and film her only from this angle when the judging panel is shown. Come on! Have you no respect for America? For the flag! For Apple Pie!

  27. Cheryl Cole Removed From X Factor Accent
    Commented on this photo:

    That is one ugly belt

  28. BarbieSamBarrry

    WOW! shes HOT!! ..(MILF).. wait.. is she even a mom?? 0.o

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