Eliza Dushku, Padma Lakshmi, Chelsea Handler pose nude

April 13th, 2009 // 110 Comments

Eliza Dushku, Padma Lakshmi and Chelsea Handler all pose nude for the upcoming issue of Allure magazine, and understandably there’s been some airbrushing done. Or Padma and Eliza were born without nipples. Who knows? That said, there’s no way that’s Chelsea Handler’s body. I always imagined it more gray. And with batwings.

NOTE: Pics are NSFW, so make sure to take your laptop to the restroom. No one will think that’s weird.

Photos: Allure

  1. B


    You said it for me. NUDE and NAKED are not the same as “she’s not wearing clothes, but you could see this much or more if she had a bikini on.”


  2. just sayin

    They dont have butts? Like at all?

  3. Wow, Dushku doesnt like being naked at all, does she? She looks like they had to hold a gun on her.

  4. shvlhd666

    Eliza Dushku was once quoted as saying that the you had a better chance at seeing the second coming of Christ than to see her pose nude. Wonder what made her change her mind?

  5. shvlhd666

    Eliza Dushku was once quoted as saying that the you had a better chance at seeing the second coming of Christ than to see her pose nude. Wonder what made her change her mind?

  6. shvlhd666

    sorry about the duplication. Damn slow server.

  7. Well I always wondered how that Douchco’s career survived that ‘Biffys’ – the Vampire Slayers’ TV show.
    In my neck of the woods – we just call those outhouse slayer/purgers – the ‘honey wagon.’ Who really gives a shit * if the pump-out crew are packin’ silver bullets or wears garlic around their necks ? No one really wants to televise it. That type of thing.
    (Not that I’ve seen the show)
    ( The gals all look gr8, by the way) ( Well ok , that one married that weird right wing fish Salmon Rushdie could PROBABLY use some coaching – but, like, grrls can make mistakes)

    (* Well ok – I gave a few – but only for compost purposes.)

  8. anybody knows why america hates nipples, folks?
    ………………………BEATS ME!!

  9. Adam

    Eliza looks 40 in that photo.

  10. Re: # 57 Just received a text from Mr French. Apparently ‘Jody’ now reports it’s ‘Buffy’ – ie with a ‘U’ – not ‘Biffy’

    Sorry if there’s been any confusion.

  11. Me 2

    There’s obvious airbrushing in all 3 pics. What else is new?

    And to the superficial writer, I love your blog, I think you’re hilarious but Chelsea Handler is still funnier and, not to mention, more successful. Methinks your “bat wings” comment may have been born out of jealousy…

  12. Darth


  13. sm

    You can tell it’s airbrushed because Padma has a HUGE scar on her right arm, that magically does not appear here…It’s a shame because she’s probably the one who needed the least airbrushing otherwise, and that’s a well-known facet of her.
    FYI her mother is white, so her skin isn’t very dark–I don’t think they really changed the color of her skin

  14. camel_toe

    long boobs!

  15. Delgo (is using a laptop!!!1)

    Dook chute looks old yo.

  16. Harry

    Eliza Dushku = One hot Mormon chick!

  17. Astrid

    Chelsea looks awesome, although she’s probably been airbushed to death, but Eliza looks like freakin Gollum from LOTR. What happened there???

  18. mikeock

    There is a brief topless scene of Eliza in The Alphabet Killer. Sucky movie, nice titty shot.

  19. ekki_skila

    Chelsea isnt funny and she isnt attractive. So overrated.

  20. Louis Farakhan

    I’m a jew hating muslim, but I like Chelsea’s jewbs. I am black after all, and she’s white.

  21. Great… now my pants are tight…

  22. uhhh

    click on any pics with stars and you’ll se them without…

    stop complaining.

  23. The Gaborg

    Anything featuring the words “Dushku” and “nude” deserves an instant Pulitzer.

  24. J-Dizzle


    Randal …. sleeping pills and a bottle of vodka. Comsume these and do us all a favor

  25. dirk

    What’s up with Padma’s arms?? Bush must look like Don King in a leg-lock.

  26. #76 – I have a razor, some cream and the will to get the job done.

  27. They look great, but, yeah, I’d say they got their money out of the airbrush this time.

  28. pete

    I’m not sure exactly how, but I imagine somebody will see a connection between Obama “converting” the U.S. to socialism and their hineys. And Obama’s name will be altered in a creative and hilarious way.

  29. Wonder if padma ever found some crawlers in the emmense facial bush of salmon rushdie, during their union…

  30. dirk


    Yep it will change to “former” President Barack Obama. But, we’ll throw the radical liberal bums out in 2010 and grab power from the socialist. He may veto our bills, but at least he won’t pass his tyranical agenda and run our country into bankruptcy.

  31. Mary

    I like Chelsea Handler but this photo has been airbrushed to the max! She is an older woman and on the show I have noticed she has a big booty and thicker thighs. Her stomach looks super small. It is a beautiful picture. I would show it off to everyone because who is really going to be able to know if her body is like that or not. I guess we will have to wait until she puts on a bikini.

  32. Matrim

    Dushku FTW

  33. Smee

    I can’t believe Padma used to bang Salmon Rushdie.

  34. Still White on the Outside

    Right on 81! I for one can’t wait for the Obamunists to suck on the barrel of my 2nd amendment guaranteed assault rifle. I know that 43 nearly tripled our national debt and was a traitor to conservatism, but at least he kept us safe! And did you see how agiule hewas when he dodged those shoes? I been Obuma would have be knocked right in his fat lips, then instructed his handlers to each pull out their “gats” sideways then pepper the crowd, you know, like a drive by. Why should we even control healthcare costs? I mean, it’s because of the higher medical fees that the HMOs are employing so many people now! leave it to Barak Osama to try and steal more American jobs.

    So Dirk, you sound handsome…….. do you like the movies?

  35. Massa'

    Thanks Jane. I do, however detect far more genetic diveristy in the NA street apes due to their propensity to breed outside of the family unit, whereas the North American Caucasian Cro Magnon tends to interbreed within its own family units, generally preferring its own offspring to new pussy.

  36. dirk


    I don’t care who they fuck. I just don’t want to pay for their offspring they refulse to support.

  37. Massa'

    I second what 87 said. I refulse to pay for their offspring too. I read that there are mnore whites on welfare and/ or receiving entitlements than negros. I don’t believe it, but then again, I think Ptolemy was right and Galileo was a liberal fag.

  38. Fribble

    Nice pics.
    Eliza, nice pose. BTW, it’s apparent that in 20 years you are going to look like Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Scary…
    Injun Jane, me not know who you are.
    Chelsea, dear, how much baby’s blood did you have to bathe in to get that younger body and loose the leather face?
    Damn, don’t the mags even TRY to hide the airbrush these days?

  39. dirk


    The per-capita welfare spending figures are higher for black recipients because the percentage of the total black population that receives welfare is greater than the percentage of the white population that receives welfare. The same is true for Hispanic recipients.

    The higher rates of welfare receipt among blacks and Hispanics are largely the result of the erosion of marriage among those groups. In 1998,

    *** 69.1 percent of black children were born outside of wedlock.

    ***41.6 percent, Hispanics

    whites the number was
    ***21.9 percent.

    Hope that clears up your confusion, 88.

  40. Get a Clue


    One percent of the richest Americans will get a tax increase in 2010. The rest of Americans get a TAX BREAK. America needs to invest in Americans and America to stay strong. You have been mislead by listening to the non news like Hannity and Rush.

  41. Brown is the new White

    The Master Race is an ugly group of hated murderers who are completely jealous of the white race and so they will more or less eliminate us and our culture. They already more or less have displaced our culture with their vulgar television programs. So keep watching tv pussies. And let your whoring little girls breed with animals. Not to mention the dirty flithy impoverished scum that has been brought here recently will replace us. Take a look around. They are winning.
    But who cares, right?

  42. Smee

    I have to say, this is the PERFECT platform for a political debate. Fucking Idiots.

  43. Massa'

    Massa’ here again. So dick, um, sorry, “dirk”, what you’re saying is that the actual number of whites on welfare and the total cost of those whites receving entitlments, as opposed to your bogus “per capita” statistics that do not reflect actual costs but only cost in your select demographic chosen to prove your bogus point, far exceeds that of black and hispanic people combined? Right. Get a clue you cock.

  44. PunkA

    Eliza Dushku just taught KK a thing or two about being a hot girl with an ethnic background. KK is not even close to being in her same class. Plus, Dushku has a real career, not a fabricated pop culture persona. I love me some Eliza.

  45. Kal

    [wow, someone get me a bottle of vodka so I can fuck Chelsea handler.]

    True, very few, if any, female comediennes are hot.

  46. chadisrad

    Eliza looks like she has down syndrome… all the time… is that a mean thing to say?

  47. testington

    80 – are you actually that stupid? When Clinton was president we had a balanced budget, after 8 years of Bush wasting all our money blowing up the middle east and deregulating banking out economy is in the gutter

    you are a moron if you cant understand that

  48. EDisSexy

    eliza dushku is gorgeous, this pic is hot! but who the hell asked chelesea hangler to pose??!? nobody wants to see her

  49. A-Z

    Eliza is hot but isn’t Eliza Dushku Albanian or something, what is ethnic about that? KK on the other hand is like a different race but equally hot.

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