Chelsea Handler Should Brag About Her Abortions

We already knew Chelsea Handler had one abortion thanks to Megan Fox speaking to the unborn fetus through the power of the pyramids or some shit. But what most people don’t know is that Chelsea Handler actually had two abortions when she was 16, which she revealed in a refreshingly candid essay for Playboy that’s well worth a click. In it, she describes the rough patch she hit as a teenager, and how fortunate she was to have access to safe and legal abortions that didn’t bring an unwanted child into a shitty situation with someone who openly admits she would’ve been a terrible mother. But because we’re still a Puritanical country that thinks vaginas are the devil’s playhole, people were pissed that Chelsea could be so “flippant” about a situation she went through, not them, so she fired off this completely unnecessary tweet:

Don’t coddle the idiots. Chelsea Handler should brag about making a smart choice because this line from her essay was spot fucking on:

We have 7.3 billion people on this planet. Anybody who carefully decides not to become a parent — let alone a bad parent, which is what I would have become — should be applauded for making a smart and sustainable decision.

I live in small town America where I can’t pick up the paper without seeing a story about two kids in their early 20s killing and/or maiming a baby because no one had the decency not to shame them into having it in the first place. “Oh, you’ve been robbing family members to pay for meth because your abusive boyfriend is out of work? Well, you better have that baby or Jesus will be mad!” Fuck all that. Especially because the people demanding these babies be born are also the ones bitching and moaning about welfare. This is literally the process now.

Pre-Baby: “Children are a beautiful gift. Everything will be fine, sweetie.”
Post-Baby: “Welfare?! Fuck you, whore!”

Not all about that?

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