Chelsea Handler Water Skiing Topless Because America?

Just as the holiday weekend left the gate, a beloved young woman in my community was violently taken from her three-year-old daughter because guns are way too easy to access in this country and we’re criminally failing our veterans returning home from pointless, bullshit wars that lined the pockets of Dick Cheney’s cronies in exchange for faulty bases and death-trap Hummers. So you’ll have to excuse me if Chelsea Handler and her topless water skiing breasts of freedom aren’t making me bust out the Eagle Boner. But hopefully they’ll do something for you now that I’ve bummed everyone out with the worst possible introduction to a post about topless water sports. It’s like having a stripper tell you death and sadness are all around us before winking her butthole at you. You can’t just go from sad to sheer magical joy like that. The mind’s a fragile instrument.

Photo: Twitter