Chelsea Handler Has Retired From Topless Selfies

In news that will certainly shock the clickbait community’s lazy search for easy pageviews – Wait, that’s me! *switches to scotch*Chelsea Handler has announced she’s retired from the topless selfies game because she knows you think it’s annoying, so I hope you’re all happy. Page Six reports:

I’m over the naked selfie thing,” the 40-year-old comedian said at Cosmopolitan’s Fun Fearless Life Conference on Saturday. “At first it was to make a point and then it was to annoy people, but I’m over it. The boob selfies are done. I’ve been there, done that.”
She added, “People were getting annoyed with me and sometimes I try to listen to people.”

But don’t worry, as a seasoned comedian with an ever-expanding repertoire, Chelsea Handler’s physical comedy has already evolved into… pretending her vagina is stuck on a tennis net?

When my partner's late. #dryhump

A photo posted by Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) on

 

And whatever the fuck’s happening here:

Oh, shit. I forgot this one

A photo posted by Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) on

Does she need a nurse? Where’s her nurse?

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