Letting Chaz Bono Dance With The Stars ‘Harasses’ Christians

September 1st, 2011 // 274 Comments

He’s giving the thumbs up! ‘Tis devilry!

For those of you with jobs that don’t require you to stare into the empty, depressing abyss that is network television, Chaz Bono, the transgender daughter turned son of Cher and Sonny Bono, has been cast on this season’s Dancing With The Stars prompting all kinds of awesome comments on ABC’s message boards. Via Associated Press:

One called the casting choice “disgusting” and said “ABC should be ashamed of theirselves for harassing mainstream Americans and Christains.” (sic)

While Cher has already come to her son’s defense despite the fact 99.9% of all Internet commenters are assholes – The .1% that aren’t? (Or okay, are, but are hilarious about it.) The Most Important People On The Internet! Every Saturday on The Superficial. Bring the kids. – I thought it’d be fun to take a look at some of the previous casting choices that apparently weren’t a vast conspiracy to piss in the face of Christians, but we’re an acceptable part of a wholesome family evening watching Hollywood celebrities wear lavish gowns in pursuit of wealth, as Christ would’ve wanted it:

Shannon Elizabeth – Naked Person
Shanna Moakler – Exposed Carrie Prejean As A Massive Hypocrite
Kim Kardashian – Porn Star/Urinal
Lance Bass – Gay Person
Holly Madison – Porn Star/Former Live-In Prostitute
Pamela Anderson – Porn Star
Kelly Osbourne – Likes Drugs, British
The Situation – Typhoid Mary
Kendra Wilkinson – Porn Star/Former Live-In Prostitute

While we’re on the subject, people often wonder why I make fun of Christians instead of Muslims, and there’s really a simple answer for that: Muslims aren’t the majority religion/political power in America who perpetually get their labia twisted because they’ve yet to realize their two thousand year old book of fairy tales is horseshit and leaves them ill-equipped to deal with the real world. So maybe this will help. Here are things that happen in reality and the sooner you accept them and recognize science wasn’t the writers/editors of the Bible’s strong suit, we’ll be a richer nation for it, and you can stop getting your delicate fee-fees hurt:

1. Evolution is a fact.
2. People are born gay and/or transgender. And hopefully this doesn’t come out wrong, but sometimes people are born with the wrong parts and require a little fix. Like babies with tails. Whoops! Sorry, but fortunately advances in science are here to help.
3. Man-made climate change is a fact. We’re beating the shit out of the Earth, and Jesus isn’t coming back to scoop us up, so it’s a big fucking deal.

Now that’s harassing Christians. Because they’re wieners.

Photo: INFdaily, Splash News

superficial

  1. amy

    Chas is a woman. Get over it. I don’t care what you do in your private time, but to insist that I call a woman a man is beyond ridiculous. My tits were small. I bought implants because I wanted bigger tits. No matter how I say it, my tits are still implants. To insist (for those who know) that people identify my tits as real because they are now “part of my body” does not make them real…as much as I’d like them to be.

  2. Emillio Estevez , Jr.

    It’s easy to make a pole into a hole, but not so easy to make a hole into a pole

  3. Elihu Tarelton

    Looks like a HVAC tech I knew in Baltimore . Guy could drink a lotta beer , especially if I was buying

  4. dingle

    Evolution would consider gay/transgender to be a birth defect. Survival of the species requires male/female relations.

    The only idiots here are those who watch the show.

  5. welldoneson

    What a fat mess. I think babies must have got mixed up in the maternity ward.
    Somewhere an obese, welfare couple is raising a slim, attractive, talented adult child.

  6. CranAppleSnapple

    “who perpetually get their labia twisted because they’ve yet to realize their two thousand year old book of fairy tales is horseshit and leaves them ill-equipped to deal with the real world.”

    You’re awesome, Fish! Thank you for your eloquence!
    Damn, I hope I can memorize that for my infuriating bible-bashing asshole sister in law.

  7. welldoneson

    each and every person who thinks man’s CO2 is changing the climate is a blind ideologue uninterested in science. and fucking gullible and unable to look out the fucking window, as well. how do I know this? because I actually look at news stories other than the brainless asshattery posted here.

  8. Chaz Bono Dancing With The Stars Lacey Schwimmer
    John Carey
    Commented on this photo:

    Lets talk to the Christians: Ever notice that it is always the non-sinners that throw the most stones. When they brought Mary to Yahshua saying : “This woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Moses says to stone her. What do you say?” (Thought they were going to put one over on the inteligence that brought the universe into existance.) He said: Let him that is without sin amoung you cast the first stone at her. Yahshua is the only one there without sin. (That’s something for you to think about CHRISTIAN.) He had MERCY on Mary. He also said in the Fifth chapter of Mathew: Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy.
    You to me as being in the same boat as the scribes and pharacies back there. If you know what Yahshua said about them boys. Jesus Christ I’d be shitin my pants if I were you. I’d be bowed right down to the ground beging for His mercy. Chaz Bono would be the last of my wories.
    Which brings me to this question. All you stone throwing CHRISTIANS.
    Where did Christ ever give you the right or authority to condemn anybody?
    The only one you have to answer to is him. He isn’t going to go to anybody else about it. But you.
    Tell you something else He is rich in mercy and is not willing that any should parish That includes CHAZ BONO. He (Yahshua) DID NOT CONDEMN MARY Like the scribes and pharacies wanted. Chaz Bono’s life is none of your self rightous business. You do well to keep your mouth shut.

  9. Chaz Bono Dancing With The Stars Lacey Schwimmer
    Pip pip cheery-o
    Commented on this photo:

    Hey, first of all I applaud the superficial, then I flip him/her the big finger. I’m a Christian, proud to admit that I have faith in God. Besides that, I couldn’t care less whether or not Chaz is on DWTS. Unless idiot parents are going to explain to their six year olds that “the fat guy had boobies like mommy but he cut them off, and a doctor made his pee-pee” I don’t see how kids would come to know the personal decisions Chaz made in gender reassignment. The host surely isn’t going to introduce Chaz as “the child of Sonny and Cher, formerly known to have a vagina.” There’s no place for discussing that topic on the show. It has NOTHING to do with the show! It ain’t Oprah!! I don’t give a damn what gender Chaz is. I hope Chaz is comfortable in his skin and feels he made the right choice for him because that’s what TRUE Christians hope for others, that they are happy and loved and comfortable with themselves because that’s the pinnacle of happiness! The fact that I believe in God doesn’t make me ignorant or blind to the obvious. Of course if we pump poisons into the atmosphere we’re gonna fuck up our happy Earth. Yes, having homosexual tendencies can be attributed to improper hormone levels occurring in utero. I don’t even remember all the other stereotypical bullshit the writer spewed about “christians,” but I did take offense to some of the statements. In a few minutes I’ll be over it and move on. Just exercising my constitutional right to say so.
    Have a happy day :D

  10. jlowejd5

    I’m going to be very confused when he wins the title by simply doing the Truffle Shuffle every single week.

  11. Chaz Bono Dancing With The Stars Lacey Schwimmer
    meh
    Commented on this photo:

    Yikes, something that looks like an amorphous NASCAR fan with bad facial hair and a cross tattoo is surely pissing in God’s eye.

  12. dee cee

    This poor overweight, sad and ugly, once lovely lady Chasity.. and whatever it’s morphing into which is the whole man with all the additions.. isn’t in good health… extreme exercising and competetive dancing, being THE controversial provocative lightning rod for attention; fighting with negative public opinion vs the sympathetic group desiring honor for his struggle to show his life means something to the world and get some actual loving attention from his fearful of aging, shallow, self-absorbed famous mother.. will probably kill him? It’s stupid, you see Cher as the loser from the get go, she failed to help Chasity for so long.. and failed miserably as a mother until this day, even when she cries out, just stop being a bully, huh? You have a son who puts himself out to be judged.. and Chaz is not actually expecting to win honestly for his skill and graceful form on the dance floor.. is he?

  13. Chaz Bono Dancing With The Stars Lacey Schwimmer
    Double D
    Commented on this photo:

    If her penis falls off and she accidentally slips on it, how many points will the judges deduct?

  14. forrest gump

    let’s thank Cher for bringing the elephant population to california, folks.

  15. forrest gump

    Cher is supporting the elephant population.
    ………….THANKS TO THIS CREATURE HERE!!

  16. Normal Male

    “…their two thousand year old book of fairy tales is horseshit and leaves them ill-equipped to deal with the real world.”

    This. 100%

  17. Chaz Bono Dancing With The Stars Lacey Schwimmer
    Dude
    Commented on this photo:

    Better sign me up for re-education, ‘cuz calling her a dude doesn’t make her one.

  18. shiloh

    absolutley love the way you put those facts #science4ever

  19. cptnknuckles

    Its man bear pig. Not sure if its the male or female of its species though.

  20. YM

    How bad does does fish and his posturing suck? real bad. Actually this site sucks now. Not sure if it’s because of Fish or because he sold it out to the big corporation. Shame.
    I don’t know about the Christians but this thing is way offensive to look at. What the fuck do you do with that?
    BTW being gay has NOTHING to do with this beast. nothing.

  21. cptnknuckles

    This whole thing shouldn’t be a christian non christian issue. The fact of the matter is, we shouldn’t be publicizing/glorifying trans Gender on evening television. no matter what the cause. I am sorry its fucked up. most likely from a confused childhood. At the end of the day unless it goes through a DNA reconstructive surgery it still a female, Despite all the hormones. This is not something that I want my kids to see. I was shocked when I was watching dancing with the stars celebrity unavailing. when they called it a he. I knew this would be way controversial.

  22. I just can’t believe anyone even gives a rat’s ass about Dancing With The Stars enough to bitch about this for 4 pages! Who exactly watches this show anyway?

    “I don’t want my kids to see Chaz Bono! Wah!”

    Yet whores like Kim Kardashian and Holly Madison are OK because they’re attractive and daddy can go pull his oh-so-sad pud in the bathroom when frigid mommy is putting the kids to bed (by the way, they’re not autistic, they’re just stupid because you let them watch Dancing With The Stars instead of making them read a book.)

    I wish Americans were this passionate about who they elect to Congress.

  23. Noel

    Growing the facial hair only on the 2nd chin? He paid extra for that.
    That’s strictly for the ladies…were talking smooooooth riding.

  24. Sikntired

    Disgustingly fat as a man OR a woman. How about some self-awareness and pride: put down the dinner fork, join your mom’s gym, and stop parading around with a disgusting gut and even worse 10th grader’s beard under your chin. And what the hell with the DWTS staff – what has Chaz Bono EVER done that remotely qualifies as “star-like”? It is a ratings grab, plain and simple – book a transgendered child of a major star (Cher) in the hope that it boosts sinking ratings.

  25. Ugh

    I WISH this were an attempt to harass christians! But, really, many of them just have persecution complexes where they see attacks coming from everyone who doesn’t 100% agree with them and who has the audacity to express that differing point of view. If christians thought that crossing the street was offensive to them, everyone who crossed the street would be attacking them. You don’t even have to address them, speak directly to them, or even talk about them for it to be an attack or harassment. Chas is just being Chas, but to christian assholes, it’s all about THEM.

  26. Chaz Bono Dancing With The Stars Lacey Schwimmer
    Steve
    Commented on this photo:

    The bloated freak will make a fool of herself….. I can’t wait.

  27. Jim

    if you believe in that man made global warming bull shit how much can i trust the rest of what you say

    • CranAppleSnapple

      Don’t worry Jim, don’t stress the few shaky brain cells you have. If you can’t wrap your head around global warming, there’s precious little science you will understand or accept. Let the smart people deal with it.

      • Al Gore is the PT Barnum of our time. Global Warming? Child Please. You liberals will believe anything if it creates government jobs and gives you a cause that requires no objective thinking skills while making you feel good about your insecure selves.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        Good lord.
        Yes Robert. You can do anything and cause no damage. Hold a bomb in your hand and detonate it. You won’t die, I promise. People can’t damage stuff ever. Poison can’t kill plants or destroy soil. Nuclear testing in the atoll won’t kill the entire area of sea and fish.
        Just stick your moronic republican head back up your own arse.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        The truth is, republicans can’t ever admit they’ve caused a problem, so they can’t admit or allow for the fact that humans have made a huge toxic mess of the world.
        It’s alright with me if they admit they’re not human. That will distance them from it.

  28. Who dat

    Have I told you lately that I love you Fish? I fucking love the shit out of you.

    Dear Christians, there’s a reason children stop believing in Santa Clause, think about it…

  29. amandalynno

    Evolution is a theory, not a fact. A very widely accepted theory, but don’t confuse the two. Archaeologists, paleontologists, and anthropologists are all still arguing and debating over the origins of man. You can’t call something a “fact” when scientists are still arguing to it.

    By the by, I do ascribe to the theory of evolution and believe it is generally well supported.

  30. Aimee

    For fuck’s sake, if this WAS a woman, Fish would have no problem going on and on about how fat, ugly, etc she was. But special circumstances for “special” people, right? Fucking hypocrite. Religion or not, Chaz is not a celebrity and seeing that 400 pound lardass dance around will probably be good for some laughs. Of course, laughing at Chaz makes me a bad person; right? Laughing at Kirstie Alley was A-okay though because she’s a chick who hasn’t had any sex reassignment surgery.

  31. Aussie Mama

    plenty of other channels to choose from. don’t watch it, simple as that. i won’t.

  32. T.J.

    No such thing as being born with the wrong body, that’s complete B.S. Chaz is a she/he a freak of nature who is suffering from mental illness..

  33. mikael

    I thought this was Gary of Teen Mom.

  34. Kiko

    Liberals are hypocrites. You cry if people are intolerant toward whatever your current project or belief is, but relish in bashing other peoples beliefs.
    It’s okay to bash Christians and conservatives, but everyone else is off the table.
    Crybaby a-holes. You must all be homos.

  35. rebeka

    Theirs going to be a circus this season on dancing with the stars.. she/he looks like the bearded woman.. I am not interested in watching CHUBS dance..

  36. Noob

    I personally think that transponders are abominations. It’s just not right to switch over from one sex to another. I for one fucking hate Chaz and I really hope he and the rest of the people that do that kinda disturbing shit burn in fuckin hell. Out of all the things we hold most dear, it is saddening to see humanity cherish such monstrosities. It is like staring deep into an cesspool of crap.

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  40. since nobody can beat j.r. why even bother dancing

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