Charlotte McKinney Is DTF, Light Has Pierced The Darkness!

If there’s any news from the past three days that signifies a massive paradigm shift in how America chooses to accept reality going forward, it’s definitely Charlotte McKinney announcing she’s single AF and will bang dudes that are funny. I honestly can’t think of a more groundbreaking piece of information or anything else really. Somebody get me a paper bag. E! News reports:

“I am so, so single right now,” she said. “It’s so funny. I’m like, even in hair and makeup, I’m like, ‘I am so single, it’s crazy.’ Usually I have some little things here and there.”
“Starting this year off, I’ve been really focused on work,” she added. “But I’m really out there. I’m open, I’m here!”

The actress told Marfuggi she is currently looking for a funny guy.
“A lot of people know, for me, my biggest thing is humor,” she said. “A funny guy and that doesn’t take themselves too serious and who doesn’t talk about themselves all day. That’s what I find in L.A.—that every guy… so there’s a lot of guys who just, yeah, just overdo it on themselves.”

And just in case this news wasn’t fantastic enough even though I’ll never meet this woman once in my entire life because flying makes me shit my pants for three days and I do 99% of my shopping based on what’s on sale at Target, here’s Charlotte McKinney friend-zoning Clint Eastwood’s stupid son right in the dick, so we’re getting married now. It’s official. This was a message to me.

“We talk all the time,” she said. “He’s always filming somewhere, I’m doing something, so whenever we can see each other, we see each other. But [he’s] just a good friend of mine.”

Charlotte, listen to me. Get on a plane to the most boring town in America, and I swear on my life, I will take you to the finest Red Robin and – *sifts through change jar* – possibly splurge for apps. Later, a film of your choice if it’s on Amazon Prime. Meld our hearts into one, woman. MELD THEM.

(And now the real reason for this post. Why? What did I write up there?)

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