Charlotte McKinney Only Gives Joe Jonas Half A Boner

Anyone who clicks through The Crap We Missed knows that I have an unhealthy fascination with Joe Jonas, so when he did a Reddit AMA yesterday and talked about his boners it was a little overwhelming. And since I know maybe two of you out there actually give a fuck what this guy has to say, I took the liberty of screencapping his shitty band’s shitty new video starring Charlotte McKinney’s giant boobs, which you can skip directly to here. And now I spend way to much time putting together The Things I Learned From Joe Jonas’ Reddit AMA:

The Boner Answer:

Thank you very much about saying it’s tastefully sexy. There was definitely some half chubbing going on during the video. I wouldn’t say a full blown boner, but I would say a haflie. I mean it’s kind of hard not to in that situation especially when you’re trying to be intimate, and also they put us in an elevator, me and Charlotte McKinney who I’m sure Reddit is very familiar with. They put her in an elevator with me and then they had kind of a hidden camera filming this whole time, and I had a great time doing the video.

Also, during our Toothbrush video I worked with Ashley Graham and the first thing out of her mouth – I never told anybody this – she actually said if you get a boner I’m gonna start to laugh, so that was how she broke the ice to get us comfortable on set

A Possible Explanation For The Boner Answer:

Who is your man crush?

I have a few. One being Daniel Craig. I have had multiple Daniel Craig birthday cakes in my life. One was a photo of him coming out of the water from Casino Royale and they made it into a cake. Obviously, Matthew McConaughey is one, too. I think he’s the man. So, between those two, there’s a lot of man crushing going on.

Another Possible Explanation For The Boner Answer:

Whats your go-to inspirational quote/mantra?

Like like you’re at the bottom, even if you’re at the top

Another Possible Explanation For The Boner Answer:

What is your favorite song to workout to?

any or all early 2000’s Bad rock… Limp Bizkit, Nickelback.. ya bro.

This concludes my in-depth investigation into Bonergate, which if you’re now mad about having wasted your time, it’s your fault. I gave you big old titties right at the top. If you came down here, that’s on you.

Jonas Bonus (I’m literally crying out for help here, people.)

Hanson Brews Beer Now, And It’s Called ‘MMMHops,’ Because Everything Is Awful:

We actually once played Hanson in a broomball tournament against New Kids On The Block and we beat Hanson really good. We swept the floor with them, but New Kids On The Block kind of put us to shame and made us realize that we’re children. So, out of the three that you didn’t ask, New Kids would win.

And if any of the members of Hanson are on Reddit and happen to be reading this. You still owe me to send me some of your MMMHops beer that you promised me back in 2011. Thanks.

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