Charlize Theron is kind of stupid

May 16th, 2007 // 81 Comments

Charlize Theron was spotted “catwalking” in front of a restaurant for almost five minutes as bystanders looked on in confusion.

Spies outside downtown eatery La Esquina saw the star “putting on a show . . . catwalking in front of the restaurant.” One bystander asked, “What’s wrong with her?” Another told Page Six, “She was doing that walk for almost five minutes.”

Why do the pretty ones always have to be so stupid? She seems adorable enough, but what the hell is this? I’m surprised nobody stopped her and asked if she needed help finding her way home, making sure to speak extra slowly so she could understand. And, uh, here she is trying to make out with a pirate.

For British eyes only!

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  1. Annabella

    She’ll always be Rita to me, lol. I had to sing “For British Eyes Only” as soon as I read it.

  2. lambman

    She’s hot, fun and knows how to get down! She smoke dope and parties like (and with) rockstars. If she wants to walk around for five minutes, let her!

    She’s also amazingly talented as an actress, evident in Monster, Devil’s Advocate, North Country. And she did a season of Arrested Development.

    She’s about the all around best female celebrity out there!

  3. Christina

    Mr. F!

  4. Nice Arrested Development reference! Love, love, love this site. Long time reader, first time commenter.

    I figured an AD reference warranted my response.

    Come check out the Will Arnett Research Project, a website about the greatest TV character of all time, GOB Bluth.

  5. # 46, Mine doesn´t either, but I know him cause I like to watch E! and he´s on it every now and then.

    You don´t need to be a fashion addict to do that now do you? Just like stuff like this, same as you… otherwise why would you be reading a blog like this? huh?

  6. anony1

    47 – thank you. You don’t have to be a genius to know what the next “fashion forward” ideas will be, just think back to what was popular a little bit ahead of where the current trends came from, I guess they can get credit for updating the originals. I’m a fan of Project Runway but for Gawd’s sake I wish they would stop acting like they are curing cancer or something. All of these celebrity pop-culture types have to seriously get a grip on reality.
    And by the way – walking up and down an imaginary catwalk FOR FIVE MINUTES is precisely the kind of “funny” joke a stoner would find hilarious. Could all of Charlize’s PR people now stop trolling the gossip sites trying to manage this story? Thank you.

  7. Four words: Who The Fuck Cares?

    I could give a shit less how stupid she is. All she needs to know is how to get her panties off, how to make me breakfast, and how to get the fuck out of my house in the morning.

  8. Marcos Glez.

    Stupid americans burrito eaters the pirate is John Galiano, go bomb iran its the only thing you do it well stupids red necks..

  9. Jon



    Yankee Doodle went to town
    A-riding on a pony
    Stuck a feather in his hat
    And called it macaroni.

    Yankee Doodle, keep it up
    Yankee Doodle dandy
    Mind the music and the step
    And with the girls be handy.

  11. Wendy

    Why are you so awesome?! I am addicted to your site but when I just saw the Arrested Development reference, I realized how much you truly rock! Maybe she really is MR F.

  12. katie

    oh my for british eyes only…. i just peed myself. best episode ever.

  13. Ysanya

    Dude I wish more people understood the “For British Eyes only” reference… Arrested Development is a brilliant show… or was… the ones who didn’t understand and simply shouted back with “Racist!” (which is bizarre) are fucking stupid.

  14. Grace

    An AD reference? I knew you were cool!

  15. Bond Girl

    I spy a former mayor named Gailiano who wants to bomb Theran (Teran) if he becomes president. They say he’s retarded, his development is arrested. He helps others steal money, sells opium that kills people, like a pirate.

    ’tis what I hear mate.

    You can go back to walking the plank now.

  16. Man, that makes me miss Arrested Development.

  17. I just woke up from a nap. How long was I asleep? Is it Halloween already?

  18. Hotdogger

    This bitch is almost as worthless as Angelina Jolie. But, at least she is slightly better looking than that skeletor jolie.


    Scotland yard is
    announcing his
    new boy=toy for
    this month…..
    and hiz name iz

    Marcos Glez

    now u both can go fuck each other
    in scotlandzfuckinyard, bitchez

    American doesn’t suck, u do
    and leave Iran outta it….

  20. bungoone

    55, by your comment of “hello?” you implied that it should be obvious to everyone. is that not what you meant?

    sorry, i don’t watch E! I don’t have time for that at home. Only at work do I have time to slack off.

  21. no small dicks here for me
    to suck, I must go to England
    for my boys.

  22. rainer

    She is no better than the party girls. She just hides it better.

    She’ll be a crackslut on the streets soon enough.

  23. alyssa

    thats NOT a pirate dumb fuck. thats John Galliano. i dont even know why i go on this site. PEREZ would have known who that was. hes one of the most AMAZING & TALENTED designers of all time.

  24. D

    love the AD reference. drop it like its hot!

  25. jesus

    The man is John Galliano who designs for Dior as well as his own line. I’m sure she was catwalking to try to convince him that she should model for one of his shows and I have no idea why I feel the need to defend Charlize Theron right now but there’s the facts kids!

  26. Luna

    “make out with a pirate” LOL
    The pirate is John Galliano!!!!!

  27. flamarkel

    Is it a law now that no one reads previous posts? How else to explain why approximately 356 of the 76 posters have indignantly pointed out that the “pirate” is some guy named John Galliano, to whom we should all be thankful for inhabiting the same planet and gracing us with this “style.”

  28. Sophie

    oh my god you guys are just idiots.
    that ‘pirate’ is John Galliano. FASHION GOD. HELLO?!

  29. amy

    arrested development…MR F
    =] nice

  30. M

    Please! You should contrast your information.Don’t you recognized John Galliano?, Are you reporters? Who is stupid?

  31. South_African_Dude

    Hahaha – You’re all just finding out now that Charlize is dumb. You see internet users, Charlize is a native Afrikaans speaker or boeremeisie as she would be called had she not left South Africa and started speaking with a fake American acent.

    Afrikaans speaking people are renown for being stupid, backwater hicks..much like American hillbilly’s! They are racists and hate anyone not white and are also dealing (unsuccessfully) with the fact that they no longer rule South Africa.

    These people eating bolting, drink Brandy and Coke, beat their wives and then sit in the front row at church while worshiping Jesus Christ!

    These ‘Dutchman’ as they are called are utterly stupid and brainless and the only things they’re good for is playing rugby and being racist! They can only do physical things…Intellectual things boggles their archaic, prehistoric minds.

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